Sunday, August 30, 2009
My Mom has a bunch of names for me, but no matter what she calls me, I know she is talking to me (partly because there's no one else here, but also because sometimes you just know stuff, you know?)
These are some of my names - some of them are really silly, but I don't mind:
Peas and Rabbits
Darlin' Pea Pie
Bailey Boo-ker (rhymes with pooker)
That's all I can think of right now!
Mom can call me whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't call me Late to Supper.
Tell me some of your names!
Oh yeah - don't forget to vote for my definition (don't vote for the wrong one)! Thanks!
Friday, August 28, 2009
I am now published in Urban Dictionary!
Take a look, and give my definition a paws up!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
We have lots of rabbits in our yard, and they leave lots of poop, and it is yummy.
But I digress.
We have a really really big back yard, and lots of woods in our yard, and I like to roam around in the woods a lot. And lots of times that is where I poop. But if I don't poop in the woods, I poop in one of Mom's flower beds.
See, a long, long time ago, before I was even born, Mom had another beautiful Golden, and he was very persnickety, and would only poop in the freshly mown grass. So Mom had to go out everyday and scoop up his poop and throw it in the bushes, so that both of them wouldn't step in it.
So when I came along, and never pooped in the grass, she was very excited - 'cause she didn't ever have to scoop poop anymore!
And then one day, I ran out of bunny poop, and discovered some of my old poop in a flower bed, and I ate it.
And the vet said: "Well, you could always just scoop up his poop.... But there is nothing wrong with Bailey."
Mom was really mad at the vet for this advice. She tried putting a muzzle on me when I went out in the yard, but I could squeeze my tongue out through the tiny opening in the muzzle, and still eat poop.
So Mom has given up on my "horrible addiction" as she calls it.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.
But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!
And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??
Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:
Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.
I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.
And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!
Like lightning, I tell you.
And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."
And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.
Monday, August 17, 2009
It's always been there forever and ever, so I could visit with the next door doggies?
Well, Mom came home from work a few days ago, and let me out, and I ran to my peep-hole to check on the new doggy that moved in last week, and look what we found!
I am so mad!
The new neighbors blocked off my peep-hole.
Mom is mad, too - because it is her fence!
Mom and I played a little soccer today, but not much, because it was really hot and humid outside.
Mom said she might get her saw out and give me my peep-hole back. I hope she does, 'cause I am a very curious and friendly dog! I want to visit with the doggy next door.
But the neighbor peoples don't seem very nice at all.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Do you recognize it?
Here is a hint:
It is cow baby's left ear.
Once again, one of my brand new dog toys is falling apart, all on it's own.
But I think I have figured out the reason all my dog toys keep falling apart!
If you look closely at the top picture, you will notice there there is a lot of Bailey-hair all over the ear. Hence, dog hair must cause deterioration of dog toys, and the longer you play with them, the more dog hair they get on them, so the more rapid the deterioration.
I really AM a genius, just like my Mom says!