Bailey the Golden Retriever

It's my birthday!

2011-05-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

Today is my 12-year old birthday! It has been a really fun day.

Mom said I couldn't have a new birthday party hat today, because she spent too much money on this hat she wore to some dumb ole wedding a couple of days ago, and now I have to wear it so she can "get her money's worth out of it".

She thought she looked really pretty in it, until the press said it was ugly. I don't really think it is ugly, although it looks a little like the rose trellis in our backyard. So anyway, now it is my hat, and it pinches my head a little, so I'm gonna take it off soon and chew it up, like I do with all my hats. 'Cause you know how I feel about dogs and hats!

So, except for the hat, I have had the bestest birthday ever! Mom declared it a holiday, and said we would be staying home from work all day and lounging around, and that is what we did. And she opened all the windows, and I spent a long time barking at all the trespassers that walked by in front of our house. And I barked at a box, but in my defense, it was a really big box.

Oh, and I got a dumb ole rawhide chip.

The bestest part of my birthday was that all my facebook friends are celebrating with me!

See you later!

My weekend

2011-04-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

Well, some good stuff happened and some bad stuff happened, and some weird stuff happened!

On Friday afternoon at work, Mom announced that she needed to vacuum, so she brought out the vacuum and plugged it in (Gumball is very scared of the vacuum!) and she started to vacuum, and then she stopped, and said that the vacuum wasn't sucking anything up.

She checked the vacuum cleaner bag, and it was empty, and she had put it in the right way.

Then she turned the vacuum cleaner upside down, and started inspecting the big spinning bar on the bottom of it, and she sat down with the upside-down vacuum and got some small scissors and started cutting, and kept talking about how there was some dog hair wrapped around the brush, but not much (HA!) and that normally that didn't affect the sucking, anyway.

Then she inspected all the hoses, and couldn't find anything blocking them.

So then she got really confused, and she started taking the vacuum apart, and on the inside of it she found a yellow sponge that looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants, and it was clean. So now she didn't know what to do. She finally decided to explore some more, because she said she was NOT going to buy a new vacuum, and I hope not, because this one has a wonderful "Bailey attachment" that she uses to vacuum me, and it feels Sooooooooooo good!

She lifted up the vacuum Sponge Bob Square Pants, and said "Whoa..."

She even made her friend come and look at it, and her friend said "Oh my god you got a hamster in your vacuum!" So that got me to come in for an even closer look.

But it wasn't a hamster!

This is what it looked like after Mom used tools to dig it out of the vacuum's tummy.

Mom says it was a dense blob of my hair and carpet fibers from the store. And some dirt. it was pretty big! This sort of proves my theory about toxic dog hair, huh? After Mom put the vacuum cleaner back together, it worked like brand new! But here's the deal: That is NOT my hair. It is Gumball's.

Here is my proof: 1) As you can seen in this picture, my hair is a lustrous red, while Gumball's hair is sandy brown, like the vacuum hamster's.
2) Golden Retreiever's do NOT shed. It is a well-known fact, right, guys?
3) Mom vacuums me almost every day at work, so there is no way any of my beautiful hair could get trapped in the vacuum's tummy (um, that made sense in my head)

On Sunday, Mom asked me if I wanted to go ride in the car, so I came running, and jumped in the car, and Mom did NOT go back inside to get Gumball. Just Mom and me went for a ride! It was so peaceful! We went to work, but just for a short visit. And then we had another peaceful ride home!

Later Sunday night Mom was working on the computer (duh), doing something she calls "syncing the iPad." I do not know anything about that, but I DO know that now she has TWO laptop computers, and that is no fair. But anyway, when she does this syncing thing, the small computer is hooked up to the other computer with a short cord she calls the "USB Cable". And this syncing stuff takes a really really long time, like 2 hours! It is ridiculous. But anyway, Mom started the syncing, and after about an hour she decided to go cook dinner, and so I ate my dinner, and then ran upstairs to drool on her while she ate hers. And I jumped on the bed and nudged my way over to her, and she started yelling and yelling, and I decided I better go hide in my bed, even though she was eating. It was a tough decision, but she seemed pretty mad. Mad enough that she had put her hot dinner over on the table, and grabbed the computers, and that's when she started telling me I had stepped on the USB cable and unplugged it from the 'puter, and now she had to start the sync all over. Oh noes. But she started it again, and then I snuck back over to the bed, and eventually she convinced me it was safe for me to jump back up there. And I got to lick her soup bowl when she was finished. Yay!

It's all about Gumball

2011-03-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Gumball Gumball Gumball. He is my nemesis, you know. He is Mr. Bossy Boots about everything, and tries to keep me away from my toys, and my Mom's bed, heck - he tries to keep me out of Mom's whole room! Mom and I still have lap time, and go on walkies, but that little yapper sure has changed things around here! Yesterday, Mom was giving me some rawhide chews, and Gumball wanted one, and since he doesn't have a bottom jaw or any teeth, I don't really see the point, but Mom naturally gave him some 'cause he asked for them. She put them in this bed, because that is the easies place for him to lick them. And that is really all he can do. He licks, and licks, and licks, and sometimes he tries to chew them, but then he goes back to the licking.

So here is where he has discovered them in his bed, and he picked the one with bacon wrapped around it

He couldn't lie in his bed while he licked them, so he planted himself on the lip of his bed, and anchored them with his paws and the bed pillow, and licked, and licked, and licked.

More licking. Every hour or so he would get up to go drink a lot of water.

Here Gumball tries a new stance on attacking the bones. This is what the two chews looked like after 5 hours of licking. Gumball was on another water break. I tried to steal these perfectly good bones, but Mom wouldn't let me. As you can see, Gumball also is a bed-scratcher. He scratched for-EVER before he lies down. Every time. His poor bed is a mess. Mom tried to get a new pillow for his bed, but they don't make them. The store told her she has to buy a whole new bed. Someone at the shop suggested Mom just buy some fleece and take off the ratty cover, and sew him a new one. Mom laughed, and laughed! She said she has 2 hundred-something half-finished jewelry projects, and more she wants to start, so why on earth would she decide to go fabric shopping, and then tried to make a cover for his cushion? She figures she'll eventually have to buy a whole new bed. But for now, this one still washes good in the washing machine, and dries in the dryer, and Gumball likes it, so he's stuck with it. Sorry to be such a bad blogger. There are just so many other things to do!!

My Mom is very confusing

2010-12-21T11:52:00.000-08:00

Mom has started calling me by a new name: "Notchu Bailey".

She calls me "Notchu Bailey" 3 or 4 times a day, but other times she calls me my usual names, like Bailey, or Bay-Bay, or Baby, so that is why I'm confused. At first I thought she was saying "Nacho, Bailey", so naturally that got me up and running pretty fast. But she never had any Nachos for me, so I listened harder and realized it was "Notchu Bailey."

It is a pretty weird name, and it never means anything good for me. This is how it usually happens: Mom fixes a big delicious bowl of extra special dogfood, with real chicken, and cheese, and bacon, and other yummy stuff. Then she says "Come here, Baby, you're dinner is ready." So I come running over, and then she says "Notchu Bailey". And here is the not-so-good part: every time she calls me that, she gives the yummy food to Gumball.

I can't believe it has been 3 months since I blogged - I have been working really hard at Mom's store, and time just got away! As much as Facebook is a pain sometimes, it is so easy for me to pop in there and just say a few words, and I have to think real hard to do these blog posts!

I have lots of stuff to tell everybody, and new pictures, so I will try to do better. I love all you guys! Happy Holidays! Oh yeah: look at the new baby my friend Ruth got me! I shake it real hard and bop Mom and Gumball on the head. That is fun! Sometimes I knock Gumball off the bed when I do that, but he shouldn't be up there in my territory, anyway!

I hope Santa is good to all my bloggy friends!

Mom learned the secret of the moving bed

2010-09-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

Mom finally saw how Gumball is moving his bed.

I already knew how he was doing it, 'cause I watched him do it all week in the mountains, but I couldn't tell Mom, 'cause it is fun to keep secrets from her, and see her be all confused. Plus, us dogs have to stick together!.

Sshhhh.... I have a secret!

2010-09-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

GUMBALL IS A ZOMBIE!

Just look at those glowing green eyes!

I have watched enough spooky movies with my Mom to know a zombie when I see one, and Gumball is definitely a zombie!

His eyes glow like this all the time; Mom NEVER sees them, but I see them all the time, especially in the dark!

And he has magical powers, too - like, we went on vacation again last week to see our friends Kathy and John in the mountains, and believe it or not, Gumball came, too. And he got to sit in the front seat with Mom, and she rubbed his head and his back a lot all the way up there, and all the way home. I never get to sit in the front seat - Mom says it is because I am too big, but I think front-seat-sitting is a magical power, sort of. Of course, I don't really want him riding in the back seat with me, either.

Whenever we are going anywhere and we stop for gas, he hops out of his seat and over the divider thing and into the back seat with me.

But anyway, back to our vacation. BTW, Kathy and John still have Princess Nummy and Tai living with them, and they were not very excited to see me OR Gumball.

So Mom took Gumball's special bed (he needs it for his arthritis), but she said my special bed is too big to take, so I always have to sleep on either her bed (which isn't big enough for both of us!) or on the floor. But I also get to watch TV in the big recliner!

And Mom put Gumball's bed in our bedroom, and then put a nice comfy comforter, all folded up, down on the living room floor for when we were watching TV, or whatever, and he didn't want to be in the bedroom. Because evidently it hurts his bones to lie on the floor.

So everyday Mom and Kathy would drive off somewhere, and John would hang around for a little while, and then he would leave, and it would just be us 4 dogs alone in the house all day long. I always just chilled out on Mom's bed. But whenever John or Mom and Kathy came home, they would find Gumball's special bed out in the hallway. For a long time they tried to figure out how it kept getting moved, because Gumball doesn't have any jaw or any teeth, and he is pretty tiny, so they didn't think it was him. One time they tried to blame me, and said I was trying to move him out of Mom's bedroom 'cause I was jealous, but it wasn't me, either! And then Kathy told Mom that John was doing it so that Gumball wouldn't be lonely in the bedroom (but I was there - how could he be lonely?) So everyone was very confused, until the day after we got back to our own house.

Mom had put Gumball's bed back in its usual spot as soon as we got home, but she had to go to the doctor the next day, so she left us 2 dogs home alone. And when she got back, she found Gumball's bed out in the hallway at the top of the stairs, and she realized that whenever she leaves him at home, he must be somehow (magically, I tell you!) dragging his bed trying to go in the car with her, but it is a big bed for him to drag, so he finally gives up and just sleeps in it wherever he dragged it to.

So this morning, Mom and I went for a long walkie because it has started to be a little cooler here in the morning, and to stop the bed-dragging, Mom took Gumball's bed downstairs and left it by the door. But when we got home from our walk, Gumball wasn't in his bed, or any of his usual downstairs spots (like my downstairs bed, or on the sofa, or on a chair), so she went looking for him, and found him lying on the floor where his special bed usually is. So now Mom says she gives up, and he can move his bed wherever he wants. But she still wants to see how he is doing it. But of course, he doesn't do it when Mom is around. Zombies are sneaky like that.

Mom says she wants to get a Gumball cam.

But back to our vacation - we both had a really good time in the mountains! I watched a lot of TV in the big recliner, and Mom took me for lots of walkies in the cool mountain weather. And Gumball even liked walking around Kathy and John's yard. He is getting stronger and stronger everyday, and one day he even started running down their driveway (he was just trying to find a good spot for pooping) and you should have seen Mom chasing him! There's no cars up there, so she wasn't making him wear his leash, because he is usually a slow walker. HA! He showed her!

Here is Gumball licking one of those delicious cheddar cheese rawhide chews in his bed on vacation. He licks, and licks, and licks.... and mostly I steal them eventually. They leave stinky stains on his bed, too, so Mom says no more chews in the bed!

But Gumball doesn't seem to like his chews very much anymore, and Mom just bought 1000 of them (because SuperPetz here was going out of business, and had them on sale!) and Mom says I can have them now! Yay!

This is my vacation pout - I am on Mom's vacation bed, with my new elephant, but pouting because Gumball has a special bed, and a cheddar chew, and I know Mom is getting ready to leave!

I am glad to be back home, and when Mom and I went on our walkie this morning lots of people came out of there houses to speak to me. At the end of the cul-de-sac where we walk I met a nice little boy named Ben, and his Dad, and they both gave me pats and rubs. And then we walked around the cul-de-sac, and 2 doors across from Ben's house there was a man and a lady with a gigantic golden retriever, who was straining at his leash trying to meet me (I was way ahead of Mom, as usual). The lady said they see us walking a lot, and wanted their Golden to meet me (and they were complimentary about the way I carry my own leash - they said their Golden doesn't do that). Their Golden was 7 years old, and he was a boy dog like me, and the same color as me, but he was huge! And very very active! But he was a nice dog.

Mom and I kept walking, and she decided to do a 2nd lap around the cul-de-sac, and when we got back to the house where that Golden Retriever had been, the man was outside the house again, this time with a different Golden Retriever, who wasn't on a leash, and she came running straight at me! I dropped my leash so we could sniff each other, and her Dad came over and told my Mom that her name was Edisto. That is the name of a beach Mom and I went to one time! And even Edisto was much bigger than I am, so Mom thinks now that I must have been the runt of my litter, whatever that means.

Mom took me and Gumball to the doctor last Monday (Gumball had to get bloodwork). We both got our nails cut, and we both got weighed. I had lost another pound, and Gumball had lot 6 ounces. Mom was very upset about both of us losing weight. She told the doctor that Gumball eats like a pig, and the vet said not to worry - that he will be OK. Then Mom asked about me, because the doctor had told Mom the last time I had MY appointment that I needed to gain a few pounds, and Mom has been giving me extra food, so Mom asked if I should get even more food! I was so excited, but the vet said NO. Booooooooo! The vet said she has decided that I am just destined to be a lean, mean Golden Retriever (I am NOT mean), and to just leave my meals the way they are. Boooo.

I've Been on 'Strictshuns

2010-08-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

"'Strictshuns" is what happens when Mom gets strict with me. She has never done this before, so I knew she meant business!

"'Stictshuns" means that my Mom said I couldn't use the computer, so I couldn't update my blog and talk to all my friends, and I have missed you! And I couldn't use dumb ole FaceBook, but that was OK, because FaceBook still confuses me and makes my head hurt sometimes.

Mom said I had to be on 'strictshuns until I got an attitude adjustment about Gumball. She said I cannot exagerrate about him anymore, or call him "Dumball", or mean kind of stuff like that. And that I have to try to be less jealous. She said I am his big brother now, and I have to set a good example.

Then she told me I was really the "little brother" because he is much older than I am, but since he is so tiny, and I was here first, I get to be the big brother.

I had a lot of problems at first with this attitude thing. Like, he gets to eat 6 or 7 times a day! (I was gonna say he gets to eat a hundred times a day, but that is the kind of exaggerating I can't be doing anymore).

And he eats special food! It smells so good, and he gets to have real gravy on it (not the gravy that comes out of the tap on Mom's sink, like I get). And at first, Mom would have to tie me up with my leash, or shut me up in the bedroom or bathroom, so that I wouldn't eat his food. I never tried to eat it while HE was eating it, but it takes him an hour to eat (that is NOT an exaggeration!) and he has this habit of eating for 10 minutes or so, and then walking a lap around the downstairs, and going back to his bowl and eating some more - and he does this all the time. I figured that once he walked away that bowl of food is fair game, and I should get to clean up what was left, but Mom said "No", 'cause he needs his food 'cause he is so skinny, and after a few days of being tied on my leash or shut up in the bathroom, I learned real quick that I can only clean his bowl when Mom tells me it is OK. So I sit a few feet away, and wait for those magic words.

But I still don't understand why he gets to eat so much - Mom says my doctor told her he needs to gain 4 pounds - but she told my Mom I could stand to gain 5 pounds, and Mom only added a midnight snack for me!

And I'm not supposed to step on him anymore - so I always look where I am barreling now, and try very hard to be careful where I put my feet, 'cause he always seems to be right up under me!

Mom got me a new elephant Baby to reward me for being a good big brother.

And here's something else I don't understand - Gumball doesn't like Babies! Or Squeaky toys!

I'm not complaining - I am happy that he doesn't steal my toys like Nummy does!

But the little chowhound steals my bones!!

Oh Noes!!

Mom started giving me extra bones, and I was enjoying one on the bed, and Gumball came over and just put his mouth right on it, so I moved back, and he proceeded to drag it off to his bed.

He doesn't even know how to carry a bone correctly, and all he does is lick lick lick them - Mom says it is because he doesn't have any teeth.

This is me pouting right after he stole this delicious bone. He somehow gets one end of my bones in his mouth, and then drags them backward, using the floor or the bed as his bottom jaw ('cause he doesn't have a bottom jaw either) and the next thing you know, they are in his bed.

Here is Gumball playing with my stolen cheesebone, and you can see the other special bone tucked in his bed.

He even buries them under the soft mattress in his bed! But I know all about his hiding places, and when he is not in his bed, I go over to it and steal my bones back. I am still getting in a little bit of trouble for this. Mom says she will just get me a new bone every time he steals mine, but it's the principle, you know?

He started stealing my bones the day before Mom took him to see my doctor, and left me at home! I knew she had been there, because she smelled like my doctor's office when she got home! Mom says the doctor told her that Gumball remembers chewing bones when he was younger, and that it was perfectly OK for him to have bones, and they DO seem to make him happy, so I let him keep stealing them. But I still steal them back sometimes!

Mom sometimes puts his bed on top of her bed, and he used to sleep up there with her, but she stopped doing that a couple of days ago, because when he gets thirsty or want to go outside, he would just leap over the side of the bed and onto the floor, and Mom was afraid he was going to get hurt.

He has special stairs that he can use to get up and down from Mom's bed, and he is getting better about using the stairs instead of jumping.

You see how he has his own soft special blue bed? He has one at Mom's store, too. At home, he has a bad habit of sneaking into my special bed, instead of his. But at the store, he has never even tried to get in my bed. Mom says that is because it is too far away from my Mom - and I think that sounds about right, because he follows her everywhere!

So this is my big pouty face after my bones got stolen. Even my Babies couldn't cheer me up.

But I am doing much better, and Mom keeps telling me I am the bestest dog, and she gives me lots of kisses and hugs, but things are definitely different. Like we hardly ever play soccer anymore.

And we don't go on walkies anymore, but Mom says that is because it is so hot. I'm not sure about that. At least I know Gumball can't go on walks with us, because most of the time he walks super-slow, and then gets tired, and Mom carries him. And when she carries him, she rubs his back, and kisses his head, and talks to him in his ears, and most of the time I just run ahead of them so I don't have to watch all that. And that is just for our short potty trips at home or at work - imagine what it would be like if it was one of our long walkies!

I'm not so sure about this big brother stuff, but I am trying very hard to be a good big brother, 'cause it makes my Mom happy, and she tells me how good I am, and also because I did not like 'strictshuns!

What's wrong with these pictures??

2010-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday, and that is the day that Mom and I sleep late, and laze around the house, and generally just chill out. And I woke up before Mom (of course) and just lay in my bed, thinking about all the laziness I could accomplish today!

And then Mom got up and went into the bathroom (naturally, I followed her.)

And then that OTHER dog started talking to my Mom - telling her that he needed to go out!

Everyone knows you don't have to tell Mom this in the morning, and that she gets to go first!

But she finished, and then carried the OTHER ONE downstairs and outside, and he peed a lot, and then he pooped, which for some reason made Mom weirdly happy - she never gets excited when I poop!

And then we went inside for breakfast. And she fed the OTHER one first. This is so not fair.

He finally finished, and I cleaned up his mess, and Mom fixed my food, and let the OTHER one lick all the gravy out of my breakfast. There is only so much I can take! But he finally drank it all, and Mom put more gravy in, and I ate my breakfast, while the 2 of them went upstairs.

And when I got upstairs, I jumped up on the bed and found the OTHER one ON MY MOM'S BED!
Yikes! Look at my pouty sad face!

But I held my ground, until Mom came and sat down right where I was, and I had to move to the foot of the bed.

The OTHER one got to stay up there with her.

But NO.

The OTHER one decided he would come down into my territory, and he put his butt right next to mine!!

Mom says you are lucky you cannot see the expression on my face right now. But there was no way I was moving off my Mom's bed!

After a couple of hours, we went outside for a pee break, and when we came back in, Mom fixed more of my delicious food with gravy, and let the OTHER one have all the gravy. Then they went upstairs, and I stayed down in the kitchen, gobbling up the gravy-less food.

When I got upstairs, the OTHER one was nowhere to be found, and the bed was MINE!!

And I enjoyed it until Mom kicked me with her giant foot, and I had to get off the bed for my own safety - so I decided I would get in my nice soft bed.

But, OH NOES!!

The other one is in my bed!

This is totally not fair.

Is there NO end to my sacrifices??

But Mom got out my old bed (look how pitifully non-deluxe it is!) and I decided to lie there, and give Mom another one of my patented pouty faces.

Mom tried to tell me that this bed is supposed to be for the OTHER one, but I call foul on that.

'Cause look who is in it! Me, that's who!!

And just now I got up to try to go get back in my good bed, and the OTHER one is still there - so I growled at Mom to make sure she knows about all this injustice, and she just asked me if I want to go outside. Can the woman not understand a thing I tell her? That was totally NOT my "I need to go outside" growl.

So now I am lying on the plain old bare floor, suffering. With my butt facing my Mom, 'cause she needs to know I am mad.

And Mom says the OTHER ONE's name is Gumball. I say his name is Trouble, or Interloper, or GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED!

Oh NOES

2010-07-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

Mom and I were driving to work yesterday, and she stopped the car in the middle of the road, and picked up a tiny dog and put him in the front seat. I NEVER get to sit in the front seat. I was jealous, and worried.

Then Mom dropped me at the shop, and locked me inside, and drove away with the little dog. She chose him! Oh NOES!

But she came back later, with no little dog.

But after work, we went to the doctor's office, and there was that little dog again, and the peoples put him in my Mom's arms, and she carried him out to the front seat again, and stuffed me in the back seat, and we went home, and she let the little dog in our house, and in my backyard, and she gave him special food that smelled really good! And then she started building my old doggy crate from when I was a baby, and I got worried again - but it was for the little dog. But I still stay far away from it.

The little dog isn't good for much, as far as I can tell. He gets carried everywhere, and he won't play with me, and I don't even get to eat his food. And Mom is always holding him. And he sleeps ALL the time.

I don't know about this. I never asked for a baby brudder, but Mom says he is an old man.

I am very confused.

If my friends reading this know people in the Aiken'Augusta/North Augusta area, please send this to them via Facebook, or Twitter, or e-mail, or whatever. Let's get the word out so this little doggie can get back home to his regular Mommy! Thanks!

Cruel and Inhumane? You tell me!

2010-07-18T11:47:00.001-07:00

My Mom tortured me for over 2 hours today!

She does this a lot - and it is high time I told the truth about this horrible treatment I receive!

Mom fixes herself these fancy lunches, and dinners, and sometimes even breakfast (like French Toast, which looks and smells delicious, but she has never never let me taste it- she says the sugar is bad for me.)

So anyway, she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and fixes the stuff.

Today, she fixed a big old fancy salad - with lettuce, and grilled chicken, and cherry tomatoes, and corn, and carrots, and sunflower seeds, and cheese cheese cheese, and dressing -- all my favorites, except of course for lettuce. I will NOT eat plain lettuce - but Mom's lettuce always have lots of dressing on it, so it is yummy.

Anyway, before she started fixing her salad, she gave me a big bowl of my breakfast. Which is AS IT SHOULD BE - of course I should eat first. So I was eating while she was making salad.

She finished making her salad at about the time I finished eating, and then she spent 5 minutes tossing and mixing it really good - just the way I like it!

And then she carried it upstairs, and set it down on the bed, and started playing on the dumb old computer again.

She says she has sensitive teeth, and doesn't like cold food, so the salad has to warm up before she will eat it! That, of course, is nonsense.

So I have to sit there, mere inches from that delicious salad, and just wait.

At first, I am still smiling, because I always forget how long this part takes.

Soon I start to get tired, and have to rest my head -

But I know my manners, and I know better than to get my "big nose" near her salad.

After a long long time, I finally show her I am no longer interested.

This usually works, and she starts to eat.

But she takes a few bites, puts down the salad, and goes back to the 'puter. And so sometimes it can take her 3 hours to eat her dumb old lunch.

Finally, she finishes, gives me the bowl, and I clean it for her.

I do a really good job!

Some days there is a lot more salad for me to clean up than others, 'cause sometimes Mom gets full faster than other times -

Today was one of those days when Mom didn't get very full, so I didn't have much cleaning to do.

Do any of you have cruel torture stories?

Don't even get me STARTED on baths --- they should be outlawed!!

I got to take a Walkie today!

2010-07-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

It has been hot, hot, hot, plus Mom has been kinda sick - but today, even though it was 97 degrees when we left work, it was only 82 when we got home. A cold snap!

Mom rushed inside and changed clothes, and asked me if I wanted to go walk with her.

Well, duh...!?!

So we took off, and I walked so much faster than she did that she had to keep whistling for me (she has suddenly quit talking, to everyone - I don't know why. But I know what her whistles mean! I would get very far ahead of her, and she would whistle, so I would kill time by running up to peoples' front doors and peeking in, or checking out their garages if the garage doors were up, or just meeting new friends. I got to meet 4 new friends: a lady who was "weed-whacking," and a man who was shining his truck tires, and a man and a lady who putting their dog in their truck for a ride, and then a nice lady with a toddler - the nice lady called me over (Mom was a long way behind me) - so I pranced over with my leash, and that toddler started screaming bloody murder - and that made his Dad come out of the house, and by then Mom had caught up, and was apologizing because I had "scared the baby", but the Mom and the Dad both knew that the Mom had started it all by calling me over in the first place....

But my point is, I got head pats and butt rubs from 4 new friends today!!

Monday Musings: My favorite place at Mom's shop

2010-07-12T11:57:00.001-07:00

Y'all might remember: I have a Sweeeeeeeet set-up at work - a nice comfy king-size bed, in a corner, under a table, so I feel nice and safe and protected! And my toy box is right there, with all my Babies, and my bones, and my balls. And I lie in my bed sometimes (but I prefer to be close to Mom! And sometimes I follow her around and around, and she tells people that I am afraid that she will sneak out some secret back door in the store and leave me there. What? It COULD happen - just because I haven't FOUND a back door yet, doesn't mean there isn't one. I watch horror movies! I know about secret passages!!)
You can't see my toy box in this picture, because Mom didn't get me a toy box for work until last month - she said my toys were getting out of control!!

But I digress. When Mom is helping customers, if the shop is pretty busy, with lots of people walking around (especially childrens), I like to go get in my bed, because I was never around lots of people until Mom starting taking me to work with her, and it gets a little overwhelming for me, so I retreat to my safe corner. [I was never around children when I was growing up, and never met any 'til I started working at the bead shop, so they kinda freak me out a little sometimes! ]

But my sweet bed is NOT my most favoritist place at work. My favoritist place is behind the counter - especially if there are lots of lots of people in the store (especially childrens) - but I never go behind the counter unless my Mom is back there, because if Mom isn't back there, I can't SEE her, and I have to be able to see her at all times (or she will sneak out the back door!)

So when Mom is working behind the counter, I get in the furtherest most corner back there, and curl up and relax. Mom always laughs at me, because it is a very tiny corner, and I always rest my head inside the metal cabinet so that I fit, and Mom tells me that I can't possibly be comfy, but it isn't so bad!

And when Mom needs to get the wire, or the crystals (which are in the cabinet behind me) she just steps right over me, and I don't even move. I know she would never step on me! She sometimes says that I am a little bit in the way, but I know she is just kidding, 'cause she is a big kidder like that.

And I might have forgotten to tell you: I got a promotion at work! I am now Assistant Manager and Head of The Complaint Department. The way this works is, if someone has a complaint, they are supposed to come whisper it to me, and then I kiss them until they forget about their complaint.

Unfortunately, Mom hasn't had any complaints yet, so I haven't gotten to give out any of these complaint kisses. But I do keep an eye out for peoples that bend down to look at the beads on the lower hooks, and I rush over and kiss them before Mom can stop me. She says not everyone likes my kisses.

HA! I told you she was a big kidder!

Not much happenin' here

2010-07-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

Not much going on here - Mom says it is the Dog Days of Summer - but I don't see anything particularly "doggy" about them.

It is hot hot hot hot hot. And humid. So it is not much fun outside.

When I go outside with Mom, I run for my soccer ball and I really want to play soccer with Mom, but by the time I bring the ball to her, I am too hot to play, so I just stand there, holding my ball, and let her rub my butt. Then SHE gets too hot, and tells me it is time to go inside.

But she lets me bring my soccer ball inside now, and we play a little bit in the house, but we have to be very careful!

My friend Kathy came to visit me 3 weeks ago, and she stayed for a real long time, and that was a lot of fun. Except one morning Kathy and my Mom left the house when it was still dark outside, and they were gone for a long time, and when the garage door finally opened again, only Kathy was there! She left my Mom somewhere! I was very upset about this.

The next day, Kathy left me all alone at the house again, but she came home soon, and she had found my Mom! I was so glad to see her. But Mom didn't feel good, and had a boo-boo on her neck, and had to go to bed. She started to feel a little better after a few days, and we are going back to work everyday, but she says she still doesn't feel good enough to take me for walkies. I think it's partly because it is so hot!

I survived the bang-bang noises again for another time - this time, our dumb ole neighbors made the bang-bang noises for 2 days in a row! It was scary!

I hope you aren't as hot as I am!

I am spending a lot of time making new friends on FaceBook. Facebook still confuses me, but I am trying!

I'll try anything, once...

2010-05-30T08:42:00.001-07:00

I don't know about you guys, but I enjoy eating. Good grief - just look at my avatar!

Basically, almost anything will do - I'm not real picky, as you know.

Although, there are a few things that I just won't eat - like plain ole dry lettuce. Or those bacon thingies.

Mom had a banana at the store the other day.

Naturally, I acted like banana was my favoritist food EVER!

And I told Mom I needed some banana, NOW!

But Mom was being all piggy about her banana, and wouldn't give me a single bite.

So then I told her that banana PEEL was my favoritist food EVER in the whole world, and I asked her very politely (I even stood up on my back legs) for the banana peel.

Mom looked at me like I was crazy, but she handed me the peel.

I have never even smelled one before - but since I had put on such a big show about getting this peel, I knew I couldn't spit it out, so I had to act like it was the best treat EVER!

But you know what - banana peels are not good dog treats.

So I had to carry the peel around, and whenever Mom tried to get it away from me, I ducked my head the other way, and acted like I had some great treasure.

Mom finally left me alone, and I carried the peel a little while longer so she would know I thought it was special, but then, when she wasn't looking, I dropped it in the middle of the floor in the store.

By then, Mom had forgotten about it - and she didn't remember it until a customer came in and saw the peel on the floor. Oooops.

Mom says that was my last banana peel. That's OK - I will just go find my friend Franklin and get some REAL treats!

My Weekend

2010-05-26T10:49:00.001-07:00

First of all, Mom did NOT let me use the computer last night, like she promised.

She told me that she was watching "Dancing With the Stars", whatever that is, and that my blogging was not going to get in between her and Maks.

So she watched TV, and I sat in her lap, but then she suddenly got all mad about something, and turned off the TV, and said "that SUCKS!", and told me no more TV, and no computer. So she read a book.

Then she told me after a few minutes that Maks had gotten robbed! Robbing is BAD! I feel very sorry for Maks, whoever he is - Mommy was very mad about his robbery.

OK - on to my story.

My Mom has not been feeling good for a long time, but I have been taking very good care of her. Really!

She blabs and blabs about her problems over here.

Well, evidently, I didn't take good enough care of her, because last Thursday, we were at the shop, and the door opened, and in came my good friend John. John is one of our friends that we visit in the mountains a lot, and he pats me and rubs me and plays foot-ball with me (that means he and I wrestle my toy balls with his feet when he is sitting in his recliner! It is a fun game!!)

But here is the problem:

John brought my arch-nemesis, Nummy, with him!

Look at her prancing around my store like she owns the place!

She just took over!

I tried to mind my own business, but she was everywhere!

Look at her licking her lips - just thinking of ways to pester me!

I bet you think she looks all innocent and sweet, huh?

Well, she isn't.

She steals my toys, and I share my food with her all the time, but if I try to take a bite of HER food, she turns into a snarling Tasmanian devil.

Seriously- she chases me all over my own house, trying to protect her precious food!

Look at Nummy, doing MY job, watching for customers and delivery men.

And this is an absolutely true story:

One night, we went to Chic-Fil-A after work. John was driving Mom's car, and he was holding Princess Nummy. I was in the back seat, as usual. Mom was on the passenger side.

When we got to the window, Mom reminded John that he had to roll down my window so I could talk to the peoples at the drive-in window, so John rolled it down.

But then, he asked the peoples at the drive-in window if they had any treats for cute dogs, and 3 pretty girls all stuck their heads out the window, ooh-ing and aah-ing over that devil-dog Nummy, and saying how cute she is, and then apologizing for not having any treats for her.

What am I? Chopped Liver?

So my Mom leaned over and told them they had hurt my feelings, and one of them said, "Well, he has cute eyes".

Hmmmph. Cute eyes.

John and Nummy went home yesterday. I miss John.

Facebook!

2010-05-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have a ton of stuff to tell you guys, but Mom left the dumb-ole camera at home, and what is all my news without the pics? BOring - that's what.

So instead, here is today's big announcement!

I am on Facebook!

Come visit me, and be my FaceBook Friend! Hope to see you soon.

And hopefully when I get home tonight, Mom will let me blog my news about what she did to me this weekend.......

So Here's the Deal

2010-05-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

Remember my awesome idea to stop eating dogfood so I could spend all day eating delicious treats from the deli near my Mom's store?

And remember how that idea kinda backfired, 'cause my Mom told the deli man that I could not have any more deli treats?

Well, Mom and Franklin (that's the nice man that owns the deli) worked out a deal, where if I eat my breakfast, I can have a little bit of treats from Franklin.

If you remember, the deli is right on the way to my potty spot. As a matter of fact, it is right next to my potty spot.

And it is a long way from Mom's shop - this photo shows a picture taken about about 3 shops away from the deli, and about 4 or 5 shops past my Mom's shop. I am standing in front of the deli. See all that pine straw just past me? There is a long stretch of pine straw and bushes going alongside the deli there - and that is a great private spot for all my doggy business!

When I tell my Mom that I need to go out, I always mean it ('cause I would never tell a lie!), but I have now started telling her I need to go out for different reasons! Only Mom doesn't speak Golden Retriever so good, 'cause she always thinks I am telling her it is potty time, and she can't understand how I could possibly need to go potty every 20 minutes!

So Mom gets my leash, and her sunglasses, and her silly-looking dumb old hat, and her keys, and opens the door. I scoot out and start trotting toward the potty spot while she is locking the store door, and she finally starts following me, and most of the time I just stop in front of the deli, and stand there.

And stand there.

And stand there.

See, if Mom doesn't have any customers at the time, and she sees that I was only "mooching for meat" as she calls it, she stops at "Montego Bay", which is a really nice store with comfy chairs outside, and pretty plants outside, and really really nice peoples there, and she sits down and starts running her mouth with all the nice peoples, and keeps one eye on me, and one eye on her store, in case a customer comes.

Every once in a while I check to make sure Mom is OK, but mostly I just stare inside the deli windows, sending thought-rays at Franklin.

More thought-rays.

Sometimes, my thought-rays are so powerful that cars pull up to the deli, and people open the door and go inside, and I scoot right on in behind them!

That makes Mom jump up out of her Montego Bay chair and run run run to the deli and haul my hienie right out of there. You guys should see my Mom run. In her dumb old floppy hat. She is a hoot!

Naturally, my super-powerful thought-rays ultimately work (they never fail!), and Franklin opens the door, and comes out to greet and treat me!

At first, I am so excited to see ~~the treat~~ Franklin that I jump up and dance!

But I quickly remember my manners, and Franklin gives me something yummy!

And he gives me lots of pats and rubs, too!

Every day Franklin asks my Mom if I ate my breakfast, and makes sure she says yes before he gives me any treats, so now I am a good breakfast eater again.

Except that now, I have been refusing to eat my breakfast in the kitchen, so Mom is taking it out on the deck, and I am eating al fresco. I love being outside!

And here's a little something for everyone who has read this really long story:
My Mom is holding a secret sale in her Etsy shop just for all my bloggy friends - if you visit her shop and see something you love, she will give you 10% off the regular price. All you have to do is, when you are checking out, look for the box that says "message to seller", and just type "Bailey is my friend" in the box. [You'll have to pay the regular price when you check out, but Mom will refund 10% of the item price (not counting the postage) back into your PayPal account]. But hurry - Mom says this sale ends on June 1!

My Mom asks for a moment of your time

2010-05-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of fun stuff to tell you, but Mom says it has to wait - she would like you to take a look at these 2 posts from her blog, and see if this stuff if happening to you like it is to us.

Is it just Me? and her follow up post Evidently, it is NOT just me.

My Mom says thanks!

She also says that if it is happening to any of you, make sure you don't publish the posts OR click on any of the links, 'cause bad things will happen!!

Guess Who??!

2010-05-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

Did you guess? It's ME!!!!!

I'm back! Sorry to be gone for so long.

Yesterday was my birthday (now I am 11!) Mom told me that I have not been blogging very much, and I have a ton of stuff to tell you!

Remember when I told you that Mom takes me to work with her?

Well, I stay very, very busy these days!

Mom's store is in a pretty business center, with about 7 big, long buildings full of stores and all kinds of businesses (like restaurants!).

Every morning when we get to work (except some mornings when Mom oversleeps) we walk all around the shopping complex TWO times, so that everyone can know that we are at work now! (Mom says we are walking for exercise. She says potato, I say potatah. Whatever). Naturally, I carry my own leash, 'cause Mom walks too slow. And I get very very far ahead of her, but if it is time to turn a corner, I stop and wait for her, because I like to keep one eye on Mom!

We have been having some really nice weather, so at the time of the morning that we are walking, lots of stores have their doors propped open so that I can walk in and make sure everything is safe, and that everyone know I am there! (Mom says the doors are open to get fresh air. Whatever.) All I know is, everyone is always glad to see me, and gives me lots of pats and rubs! Whenever I see an open door, I start to run, and scoot inside the open door! I have to run, because sometimes the open door leads into a restaurant, and for some reason, Mom does not want me to go in restaurants, and she starts to run really fast to try to block me from getting in those doors. Seeing my Mom run is funny!!

Everyone at the shopping center likes to see me walking, and they think it is funny that I carry my own leash. Lots of people take pictures of me, and one lady always comes out to greet me, and one day she took my picture, and the next day she told my Mom that now I am on Facebook. I do not know what that means.

After our walk, we open up the store, and then my job is to greet all the customers! That is a lot of fun, and more pats and rubs for me! And I get a lot of treats, too, 'cause Mom keeps a big jar of treats on the table for customers to give me!

This is me saying goodbye to a really nice lady that was buying beads at the store at Christmas time.

I also keep an eye out for delivery trucks, and let Mom know when more beads are coming to the shop!

When things are really quiet in the store, with no customers, and no deliveries, and Mom is working with her stupid beads instead of playing with me, I lie down beside her with my Baby.

Remember how sad it was when my poor piggy Baby fell apart suddenly?

Well, Mom got me a new piggy baby to love at her store, and I have started lying down with piggy baby covering my head. Mom always goes "Awww" when I do this. She doesn't know why I do it at the store, but I don't cover my head with my babies at home.

And about a month ago, when Mom and I were doing our walkies, Mom noticed that I was leaving footprints all over the sidewalks! Lots of other peoples noticed, too, and would tell my Mom that they could tell I had been there, 'cause they saw my footprints! But no peoples were leaving footprints -- only me!

Wanna know why? It's 'cause of pollen! We had inches and inches of pollen covering the ground. Our nice green sidewalks were not green anymore - they were bright yellow. And every time I put my feet down, a big yellow cloud puffed up! We finally got some rain, and all the pollen is gone now.

There is a German deli just a few doors down from my Mom's store, and it is on the way to the place where I go potty. There is a really nice strip of grass with a lot of bushes and stuff at the end of our building, and it is perfect for me. Every time it is time for me to go potty, I walk really really fast towards the potty place - way faster than Mom (duh! She is slow). And Mom thinks I am running to go potty, but actually I am just going to the deli - I stand outside its door, holding me leash, and lots of time (if they don't have customers) they see me, and come outside with treats! Yum!! And when customers come out of the deli with bags of goodies, I follow them to their cars, sniffing their bags. Mom hates when I do this.

Last week I started refusing to eat the nice breakfast that Mom fixes me every morning before go to work. Mom thinks I was doing this so I would have more room for deli treats! She told the nice deli man to stop giving me treats.... that was mean. Now I have to eat dogfood again.

Well, I went to the doctor...

2010-03-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

I had to go to my doctor for a check-up on Monday.

She is the very same doctor I have had ever since I was a baby, and she is a very nice lady.

But I think she was very confused on Monday, because she kept calling me "Jerry" instead of Bailey. "Jerry this," and "Jerry that." Oh yeah - I remember - she was calling me "Jerry Atric". That is a weird name.

My Mom told her I was not "Jerry Atric", but my doctor insisted. And then she drew some blood from my leg for tests, and she gave me a paw-dicure, and told me I was a good boy (duh) and sent me home.

The next day, she called my Mom and told me all my tests were OK, and my Mom told her again that I was not "Jerry Atric", and the doctor laughed and said "Well, keep thinking that, and maybe he will stay healthy."

Humans are strange sometimes.

We got SNOW!

2010-03-07T16:04:00.001-08:00

I am so far behind on my blog! Sorry, everyone - things have been really crazy here!

I have lots and lots to tell you, but this post is all about my very biggest news ever!

We got snow! Tons and tons of snow!

We never get snow!

This happened a few weeks ago. It started snowing while Mom and I were still at work, so we left early, so we could play in the snow at our house.

Naturally, I wanted to play soccer, but I couldn't find my soccer ball anywhere.

Mom finally helped me find it.

See me pushing my soccer ball out of the deep snow?

I think this is when I discovered that snow is kinda tasty!

Mom and I played a lot of snow-soccer.

It was a lot of fun! But I got really wet and cold, so I finally told Mom it was time to go inside.

The next morning, the snow was still there, and I wanted to play in it.

Mom wanted me to eat breakfast, but I would not come back inside, so she finally brought my breakfast outside. That was a great idea!

Did you guys ever get to eat outside? It is really fun!

After I ate breakfast, I made the snow yellow!

My best Christmas Present!

2010-02-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

Back before I jumped into the swimming pool, Mom and I drove up up up the mountain to visit our friends John and Kathy for Christmas.

I was worried that Santa would not know where to find me!

But I didn't have to worry, because when I got there, the first thing I saw was my brand new chair! It is perfect for me! Mom thought it might be for her, but I quickly showed her!

It has a pillow on top, in case I decide I want a pillow. And it has a sheet to collect all my valuable dog hairs!

See how comfy it is for naps?

And it has plenty of room for me AND all my toys!

This is the new ball Santa brought me at my house right before we drove up here.

Just to refresh your memory, this is the old chair I used to sit in at Kathy and John's house - see how tiny it was!

It even made my nose look big!

Tiny chair!

I love my new chair. I let John sit in it when I am not there. Because that is how generous I am!

I Can Haz Cheezburger, too!

2010-01-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

Have y'all seen this website? I don't get it. A website for cats??? Cats and cheeseburgers???

Well, this is me and my cheeseburger - take that, you silly cats!

Oh, there is one for doggies, too....

ANYway, for Christmas, my friends John and Kathy gave me a bunch of these great balls - they are hard, and good for playing catch!

We visited them way back for my big vacation to the snowy swimming pool....

I took Tai and Nummy some of this great popcorn for dogs - it is Delicious!

You should see if your peoples can find some for you!

Mine is all gone now, but Mom says she will get me some more soon.

I have been having tummy aches for the past few days, and throwing up my breakfast a lot, and sometimes I don't even eat my breakfast - Mom says she will give me a few more days, and if I don't start to eat better, we are going to the doctor.

Oh boy.

Mom thinks I am tricking her, because I will eat people food just fine. And she thinks Maybe I got spoiled on our vacation, because I got t0 eat so much people food leftovers everyday, after Mom and her friends ate at the fancy people food eating places.

She thinks Maybe I am just holding out for better food....who knows??

I learned what a pool is....

2010-01-18T11:56:00.001-08:00

Mom and I took a trip earlier this week - we went to a hotel (I love hotels!!)

The last time I stayed in a hotel it was at the beach, and I went swimming in the ocean everyday, and chased pelicans. That was fun! That was a long time ago - way before I started blogging, but here is a picture. I hope we go back sometime!

This vacation was almost as fun - there was snow! This is the most snow I have seen since I was a baby!

Mom and I played a lot in this snow - look at all our footprints!

As you can see from this picture that I have expertly diagrammed for you, the snow, and the pool, were right outside our hotel room.

I made Mom take me for a walk every 5 minutes!

It was very very cold! But that is my favorite! It makes me frisky!

This is the "swimming pool." I had never seen a swimming pool before. I have only swimmed in the ocean.

Mom and I opened the gate and walked around this pool. Notice how the corner of the pool is nice and dry in this picture.

While Mom was talking (yak yak yak) to her friends, she was not watching me at all, and I strolled over to the corner of the pool and took a good long sniff.

Then I decided to walk on the pool.

That's when I learned I can't walk on a pool!

Look at the broken ice where I fell in!

I went under the water a bunch, and then I treaded water and swam over to the corner, and put my front legs up on the corner, and used my back legs to climb out of the pool.

Then I shook off, and got everybody wet.

Now I was friskier that ever!

This is me, chillin' on the bed in the hotel, after my swim.

I had SO much fun on this trip!

Remember these guys?

Well, in some weird coincidence, they were staying at the same hotel!

Mom and I visited their room a lot, and it turns out they aren't as bad as I thought. OR maybe they are.....

Mom calls Tai (the cocker spaniel) "Girlfriend" a lot, and sometimes calls her BGF (best girl friend), and holds her on her lap a lot, and gives her lots of rubs and treats, so that is not so good. I get jealous....

And I can't see Nummy very well, 'cause she is so tiny, and she's black, so she blends in with other shadows (but look at her glowing evil eyes in picture!), and I step on her sometimes - it is an accident! Really!!

Note: Mom's version of this whole vacation may vary from mine. You guys know who to believe - we gotta stick together, right?

Happy New Year!

2010-01-06T17:15:00.000-08:00

and Prospero Ano Nuevo, etc...

I hope everyone had great holidays!

This is the new soft blankie that Santa brought me, for lying on the sofa with Mom. It is made out of soft soft fleece, and has pictures of bones on it!

This is the new ball Santa brought me. It is big, and soft, and chewy, and comes apart really easily when I chew it.

Mom says Santa probably didn't know about it coming apart when he told the elves to make it for me!

I can't find this ball right now - it is lost somewhere in the house!

This is me with my new ball and blankie on Christmas, while Mom was watching TV.

We went to the mountains the next day, but didn't get any snow.

We still had a really good time, and I will be back soon to give the juicy details!

Return of the Coneheads - just in time for Christmas!

2009-12-24T13:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it again.

One day last week, while Mom was helping customers at the store, I hid in my new bed at the store, and licked and licked and licked a spot on my hip until I had another one of those "hot spot" things that always makes Mom put the bucket on my head.

Here is me today, with my bucket head, playing with my good old "swollen tongue" toy.

This is still a great toy, even though it has quit squeaking.

I hate when squeakers quit squeaking!

Now, the good thing about wearing my bucket is that when I get tired of playing with one of my toys, I can just drop it, and carry it around in the bucket until I want to play with it again - this works pretty good with all my toys - even my big babies!

It does NOT work so good with treats Mom throws at me (why do I always miss catching them when I wear this thing?) Anyway - the treat gets stuck around my neck area, and I can't reach it, but I lick and lick trying to get it, and then the treat is all sticky, and my neck is all sticky, and, well - you get the idea.

Mom has special medicine for my boo-boo, and she puts it on me (I don't mind!) and I wear the cone around the house so I don't lick off the medicine, and so I don't lick my boo-boo.

But thanks to this new thing Mom found at the PetSmart (I Looooove going there!) - I don't have to suffer the humiliation of wearing my bucket head in public anymore!

Mom calls these doggie bandaids - they have special stuff on them to keep me from licking, and she can put in on my boo-boo, and it is basically invisible ('cause it is the same color as my fur!) - but when people at the store rub me, they sometimes find it. But sometimes not.

These doggie bandaids make Mom sneeze if she gets close too them - that is because they are coated in Cayenne pepper. They don't make me sneeze, but I sure don't lick 'em, either!

So, I wear the bucket at home, so my medicine can work, and I wear the pepper bandaid at work, so I don't look so silly. The pepper bandaid won't stick to my medicine, or else I would never have to wear the stupid bucket!

I hope everybody has a good holiday!

Mom and I are spending a couple of days lounging around the house, and then on Saturday we are driving up to the mountains to visit our friends, and we hope it is snowing up there!

Y'all will never believe this!

2009-12-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

I STILL can't believe it!

First of all, Mom is making me tell all of you that this report card I got the last time I stayed at the doggie hotel is a BFL (Big Fat Lie).

After Mom and I took our shower last night (you should have seen how much dog hair was all over Mom when we finished - sheesh! she acted like it was gross or something!), she spent hours and hours blow-drying me.

Then she got out 2 different brushes, and a comb, and tried to "make me pretty" - but I snarled and snapped, and squirmed and wiggled, and was very uncooperative. So now she thinks the doggie hotel must put me on doggie Valium before they ever brush me.

So, anyway, back to the big news.

Mom got up 20 minutes early this morning!

I know - this is highly unusual, so I was already super-suspicious.

She did her usual morning routine, and let me do mine, and then when it was time for her to go to work (this is the time I usually hide in the backyard and make her bribe me with treats to get me to come inside) she opened the back door and yelled "Let's get your leash!"

So I came running at super duper speed, and helped her find my leash, and she put it on me, and I helped show her where the car is, and I got in, and we went.....

Straight to the doctor's office - but only so she could get me a quick pedicure.

??huh?????

So then we drove and drove some more, and we ended up at her work - and she let me in, and took off my leash, and then went back to the car and brought in my new bed, and all my new toys, and treats, and filled a water bowl for me, and told me I get to come to work with her EVERYDAY now - forever!!

Look - if you pay attention, you will see that I have a brand new cow-baby here at work - he is just like my one at home, except this one is white, and the one at home has turned brown. Don't know why - must be what happens when cows get old.

So I checked out my bed, and sometimes I lie in it, but mostly I have a lot of jobs to do!

I have to greet all the customers, and help them shop.

And Mom has lots of beads hanging on pegboards, and I dust these several times an hour, to keep them clean.

All the peoples that come here are very friendly, and like to give me rubs and treats.

I like coming here!

Can you believe it? No more staying home all by myself all day!

The only bad thing is, Mom spends a lot of time doing the same boring stuff she does at home - play with beads.

Yawn!

Something weird is happening around here again...

2009-12-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

Mom got home late from work, and she had a new dog bed for me (I LOVE my old dog bed, so this better not be some kind of trick.) And she had a bag of dog toys, and dog treats, and she carried them back out to the car.

Then she rushed me upstairs and into her bathroom, and made me take shower with her. Well, mostly it was me getting the shower - she used some girly-smelling shampoo, and then some girly-smelling conditioner, and then she tried to blow me dry (which I normally enjoy as a game) - but this was different, and after one whole hour she gave up. She said that now she knows while Phil (my Professional Bather) ties me to the wall when he blows me dry. And why Phil's blow dryer is 10 times more powerful than hers.

Then I wanted to run outside and roll around in the really wet dirt and mud in the backyard, and she said NO.

So I am rolling on her clean comforter, and getting it good and smelly.

She says the reason for all of this will become clear tomorrow.

She is very busy watching So You Think You Can Dance, so now I am going to go around and get reacquainted with some of my old buds!

I'll try to get back to you tomorrow with whatever the big news is.

YaWN

Hi everybody!

2009-12-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it has been 2 months since I used the computer!

Everything is OK - and thanks to everyone who worried about me - so sorry you worried! I missed you guys, too!

Mom hasn't been feeling too good, so she and I just snuggled a lot, instead of working on the computer. That was really fun for me! I love snuggling!

Have you guys ever had these great treats? They are huge pieces of cheese, and sausage, and sometimes bacon - Mom got me some, and I love them!

They are all gone now, and I want MORE!!!

I will try very hard to be a better blogger!

Bambooooooozled!

2009-10-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

I was totally bamboozled by this whole vacation thing.

Mom loaded all her suitcases in the car, and I ran out and jumped in, while carrying my leash - and we drove 3 whole miles, and I ended up at my doctor's office, for a whole week!

They are nice people, and they play with me and everything, but that is NOT a vacation!

I even had to have a little bit of surgery, because I had a lump on my side, but the doctor told my Mom it is just a cyst, so everything is OK.

I also had to have a bath.

Whenever I stay at the kennel, Mom gets a report card, and mine is always excellent, of course. But this time, the peoples that took care of me wrote on my report card that I love to be brushed- and Mom thought they were joking, because whenever Mom tries to brush me, I squirm, and growl a little, and nip at her fingers (not hard!) - but now Mom knows it is just another one of my tricks!

Big PS to all my friends: If you are following me, and I am not following you back, please let me know - this is all very confusing to me, but I am trying very hard to figure it out!!!

Something's up!

2009-09-23T09:19:00.001-07:00

Something big is up at my house!

Mom is doing lots of laundry, and ironing, and packing her suitcases.

And that only means one thing!

VACATION!!!

So I have been doing a lot of thinking and dreaming about where we could be going.

Maybe it will be somewhere with lots and lots of snow!

I just love rolling in the snow, and eating snow!

It hardly ever snows at my house, and it is pretty hot right now, so that would be a really fun vacation, huh?

Maybe we will go back to the beach!

The beach is so cool! Lots of water for swimming (but don't drink it, 'cause you will throw up!)

And lots and lots of birds to chase, especially those pesky pelicans! They like to tease me - they land really close to me in the water, and I thrash around trying to swim to them, and then they fly 3 feet away, and stare at me, and we do it all over again.

And rolling in the sand is SO cool! Then you go and jump in Mom's lap. That is fun!

And there is horse poop at the beach we go to - and you know how I feel about that!

Or maybe we will go to a big fancy hotel and doggie spa, and I can sleep late, and get massages and belly rubs!

I have NO idea where we are going, but I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

Check out my new poll, and vote for where you think Mom and I should go!!

See ya!

How many do YOU have?

2009-08-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

How many names do YOU have?

My Mom has a bunch of names for me, but no matter what she calls me, I know she is talking to me (partly because there's no one else here, but also because sometimes you just know stuff, you know?)

These are some of my names - some of them are really silly, but I don't mind:

Bailey
Bailey-Boo
Boo
Boo-boo
Bay
Baby
Stinky
Stinky Baby
Stinky-poo
Stink
Big Stink
Stinker
Poo-Bear
Poo
Bailey-doo
Bailey Doodle
Baby Doodle
Doo-doo
Sweet-pea
Sweet Peasums
Pea-pie
Baby Cake
Baby Cakers
Cake
Cakers
Sweetness
Sweetness-pea
Peas and Rabbits
Doodlebug
Sweetums
Goofball
Goofhead
Baby Darlin'
Darlin' Pea Pie
Pretty
Pretty Boy
Baby Doodles
BB
B-dog
Stinky Pot
Cuddle Bug
Doll Baby
Stinkerpotamus
Stinkypotamus
Love Muffin
Fur Ball
Hey You
Foot Boy
Bailey Poo-kette
Poo-kette
Bailey Boo-ker (rhymes with pooker)
Boo-ker
Bailey Boo-kette
Boo-kette
Snuggie Uggums
Big Dog
Pookie
Boogie
Boogalooze
Love Bunny
Booger-dog
Bubba Dog
Beakie
Beakie-Doo
Beakie Doodles

That's all I can think of right now!

Mom can call me whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't call me Late to Supper.

HaHAHaHAhahahahaha

Tell me some of your names!

Oh yeah - don't forget to vote for my definition (don't vote for the wrong one)! Thanks!

Check me out!

2009-08-28T19:07:00.001-07:00

Hey guys - I have made it to the BIG time as a journalist now!

I am now published in Urban Dictionary!

Take a look, and give my definition a paws up!

Thanks!

Me - giving a paws up. I need a little more practice!

My Name is Bailey, and I am a Poopaholic

2009-08-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

Mom told me that I absolutely, positively, cannot tell this story.

So here goes.

I am mostly a good dog, but sometimes dogs have certain urges ... and that is why there is a well known saying: "A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do."

And, well, I do doo-doo.

Like many poopaholics, I started with that gateway doo-doo: rabbit poop.
We have lots of rabbits in our yard, and they leave lots of poop, and it is yummy.

Except for this bunny - he lives next to our deck, and I've never seen him move. He doesn't ever make poop, and he doesn't even smell like a bunny.

But I digress.

We have a really really big back yard, and lots of woods in our yard, and I like to roam around in the woods a lot. And lots of times that is where I poop. But if I don't poop in the woods, I poop in one of Mom's flower beds.

That is very important to this story.

See, a long, long time ago, before I was even born, Mom had another beautiful Golden, and he was very persnickety, and would only poop in the freshly mown grass. So Mom had to go out everyday and scoop up his poop and throw it in the bushes, so that both of them wouldn't step in it.

So when I came along, and never pooped in the grass, she was very excited - 'cause she didn't ever have to scoop poop anymore!

And then one day, I ran out of bunny poop, and discovered some of my old poop in a flower bed, and I ate it.

And then I couldn't stop - I think of it as recycling.

Mom was horrified, and decided I might have a dietary deficiency, or something, so she took me to the vet, and asked the vet what she should do about a poop-eating dog.

And the vet said: "Well, you could always just scoop up his poop.... But there is nothing wrong with Bailey."

Well, duh.

Mom was really mad at the vet for this advice. She tried putting a muzzle on me when I went out in the yard, but I could squeeze my tongue out through the tiny opening in the muzzle, and still eat poop.

So Mom has given up on my "horrible addiction" as she calls it.

TDH strikes again!

2009-08-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you guys, but my Mom has this strange, magical machine in the kitchen, and I really wish she would get rid of it.

It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.

But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!

And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??

Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:

Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.

I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.

And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!

Like lightning, I tell you.

And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."

And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.

Bummer

2009-08-17T14:11:00.001-07:00

Y'all remember how I told you about all the construction going on next door? And how I have this really cool peep-hole in my fence?
It's always been there forever and ever, so I could visit with the next door doggies?

Well, Mom came home from work a few days ago, and let me out, and I ran to my peep-hole to check on the new doggy that moved in last week, and look what we found!

I am so mad!

The new neighbors blocked off my peep-hole.

Mom is mad, too - because it is her fence!

Mom and I played a little soccer today, but not much, because it was really hot and humid outside.

Mom said she might get her saw out and give me my peep-hole back. I hope she does, 'cause I am a very curious and friendly dog! I want to visit with the doggy next door.

But the neighbor peoples don't seem very nice at all.

Toxic Dog Hair: the Truth

2009-08-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

My mailbox has been flooded with e-mails from other friends whose dog toys have inexplicably fallen apart, and they also suspect toxic dog hair (TDH) is the culprit.

As a responsible journalist, I have now done extensive research into this, and these are my findings:

I have inspected hundreds of photos of my poor dead dog toys - I have found copious amounts of dog hair in every photo!

By now, you have probably seen the pics of poor cow baby's left ear - covered in TDH!

Here is more irrefutable photographic evidence:

Poor piggy baby

And a close up photo of poor piggy's tummy area:

Click on the photo if you need to - I have circled what I believe to be Ground Zero of the TDH accumulation.

I have hundreds of more photos that tell the same sad story, but quite frankly, it was very painful for me to go back and look at all my dear old, and now sadly demised, friends, and I just don't think I can bear to relive these memories again.

So here are my new theories, the result of several hours of extensive study, whenever I wasn't sleeping, or eating, or getting my tummy rubbed:

Toxic Dog Hair (TDH) is responsible for:

1) Global Warming -- there are probably tons and tons of TDH floating around up there somewhere, trapping those greenhouse gases, whatever they are...

2) Hurricanes and Typhoons (forget that silly "Butterfly Effect" nonsense - I suspect TDH)

3) the Blue Screen of Death and other critical computer errors -- there's really no doubt here -

my Mom has had to have her computer professionally cleaned (and even replaced, one time) because so much TDH got inside it that it stopped working --- sorry, Mom

4) the Current Economic Crisis - I won't even pretend to know what this is, but the News Guy is always saying it, and he sound really sad and serious when he says it, so it must be something bad, and I bet TDH is involved.

5) And, most importantly (to me), the deterioration of my favorite babies.

That's all I have come up with so far, but I will keep conducting my top secret research.

Let me know if you have some horrible events you believe are caused by TDH.

The world must know!!

The End is Near...

2009-08-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

When Mom came home from work, she found this on her pillow:

Do you recognize it?

Here is a hint:

It is cow baby's left ear.

Once again, one of my brand new dog toys is falling apart, all on it's own.

But I think I have figured out the reason all my dog toys keep falling apart!

If you look closely at the top picture, you will notice there there is a lot of Bailey-hair all over the ear. Hence, dog hair must cause deterioration of dog toys, and the longer you play with them, the more dog hair they get on them, so the more rapid the deterioration.

I really AM a genius, just like my Mom says!

It's for my own good...?

2009-07-31T18:09:00.001-07:00

Does that statement EVER mean anything good is about to happen?

You guys know I've been wearing this stupid cone forEVER.

And my Mom has been taking care of my boo-boo, and checking me all the time, and I got all better this week, so Mom decided to start letting me go without the cone.

She does this gradually - by letting me go for just a few hours without it at first, so she can watch me, like I'm some kind of recidivist or something.

The nerve.

But anyway, she started freeing me from the cone on Monday when she was home from work, and we sat around the living room all day - she was working on her stoopid beads, and I was left to my own devices. Do you want to know what I did? Really what I did?

Mom was really, really wrapped up in her bead stuff, and the TV was on, of course, and so she wasn't paying much attention to me.

And about an hour later, she noticed that she was hearing a very repetitive licking sound coming from somewhere - and she started looking for me, and she couldn't see me anywhere. Because I am smart, and I had crawled behind a big chair to hide from her!

And she got up really quietly and sneaky-like, and snuck up and me and caught me licking - but I wasn't licking my all-healed-up boo-boo. I was, of course, licking my .......... "business". After all, I hadn't been able to do this in FOREVER!!!

And evidently, that was OK with her, because she didn't put me back in the cone.

So for 4 days, she let me be out of the cone whenever she was home and awake, and I was perfectly behaved, and didn't do any bad licking, so last night she let me sleep without the cone.

She even gave me a huge rawhide bone so I could celebrate, and have something delicious to chew and suck on!

And then this morning, she gave me a full body frisking, and didn't find any wet spots, so she decided I was over it, and she went to work and left me out of the cone! Hurray!!

And I spent all day sucking on my thigh, and when Mom got home, she frisked me again, and discovered what I'd done, and put me back in the cone, saying "it's for your own good".

Yeah, right.

Stupid cone.

Gingey's home!

2009-07-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well, Mom must have sent enough ransoms to the lady in the mountains, because Gingey is home at last!

I am just so excited! This picture was taken just moments after Mom opened the package -

I ran around the house a lot with Gingey!

We went upstairs while Mom changed her clothes, and I paused on the bed, but never let go of Gingey.

Then Mom went downstairs to cook dinner, and I raced after her, and I was so excited, and between wearing my cone and having Gingey in my mouth, I guess I couldn't see the stairs, and I was running too fast, and I fell down the stairs!

Fortunately, Mom was just a few steps from the bottom, and she heard the commotion as I came thundering down the stairs in a big tangle, and she stuck out her leg, and saved me! I composed myself, and raced her to the kitchen, and you know what?

I never even dropped Gingey!!!!

Bother and Worryation

2009-07-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day, everybody!

As usual, I spent last night in Mom's closet, just like I do every July 4 (and every New Year's Eve, too).

I peeped out a couple of times to make sure Mom was OK, but mostly I just hid deep in her big comfy closet, 'til all the bang-bang noises were over.

I came out around 1 AM, and jumped up on Mom's bed to let her know it was time to take me outside.

And that's when she noticed that my left hip was all wet. And she knew what I had been doing in the closet - I had been "worryating" on my left hip, and now I have a great big boo-boo there. Mom said I was naughty. I can't help it, though - sometimes I just do this when I'm nervous!

It was all red last night, and Mom put medicine on it.

And naturally, now I have to wear the cone again.

Oops.

I don't know what Ransom is, but I need some!

2009-07-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Gingey Watch, Day 17.

Mom talked to the lady at the mountain house yesterday, and evidently I will only get Gingey back if Mom sends her some "ransom."

I have no idea what "ransom" is, but I saw Mom hurry and pack an envelope, and mail it to the lady.

I am worried, because it was not a very big envelope, and I want Gingey back.

So if you have any extra ransom lying around, please mail it to:
The Mountain House where Tai and Nummy Live

Thanks!

Speaking of Nummy, I suspect she is behind all this.

She always wants my toys, and look at her evil eyes!

Gingey Watch - Day 14

2009-06-28T06:35:00.001-07:00

Mom and I go to the mailbox everyday, checking for Gingey.

But no Gingey yet - it has been a long 14 days.

Mom finally broke down and got me this new cow baby - it even Mooooos - which really irritates Mom sometimes.

I like my cow, but it's no Gingey...

I'm a pretty talented dog, you know - I can wink!

I wink all the time, but I do it fast, and up 'til now, no pictures existed... but here's the proof.

I guess my phone will be ringing off the hook now, for movies and stuff where they need a beautiful winking dog!

Can you see my nose freckle in this picture?

Isn't this sad?

2009-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

This is poor piggy, who I told you about last time.

They just don't make dog toys like they used to, huh?

I just loved piggy, like I love all my babies, and one day he just fell apart.

The good thing is, when I pick up piggy and shake him back and forth really hard, all kinds of piggy fur and dog hair and other stuff flies off of him, and usually lands in Mom's food (not that she is always eating, or anything), and then she shrieks a lot like a little girl.

But the bad thing is, poor piggy is not a very good pillow for me anymore.

I hope the mailman is very careful with my Gingey, and gets him to me fast!

I took a vacation! And something horrible happened!

2009-06-18T09:14:00.001-07:00

Mom packed up the car again, and we took a really long ride, and I got sooo excited when we turned on this road in the mountains, because I remembered this place!

Mom had helped me pack my stuff, and I took ugly baby, because he is really good for tug-of-war, and I remembered that the nice man at the vacation house is really good at tug-of-war, and of course I took Gingey baby, because he is the best baby ever!

When we pulled up in the driveway, I was super-excited, and leaped out of the car with my leash, and ran up the stairs to the big glass door (after I stopped for a long tinkle), and peeped inside, and waited for my Mom to make it up the steep stairs. (It's quite a climb!)

It took Mom a looooong time to get up to the door!

But she finally did, and she knocked, and the nice vacation man came and let us in, and that's when my excitement ended.

'Cause I had forgotten all about these 2 characters: Tai, and Nummy - who evidently live there.

They are probably nice dogs and everything, but this was MY vacation, and it was supposed to be all about ME!

So I pouted for 2 whole days on Mom's vacation bed. Just me and ugly baby and Gingey.

I didn't even eat!

And everytime anybody took me outside, I ran straight to Mom's car, and sat beside my door, waiting for them to let me in, so I could go back home. But we still stayed there. Mom let me sit in the car for about a half hour one day, but we never left.

Mom was up there to go to school, so she was gone most of the day, and after I quit pouting, I had a really good time.

The littlest dog is Nummy - she is a Yorkiepoo, whatever that means, and she thinks she is the queen of the house, or something. All I know is, she likes to steal my toys.

They had these great hard plastic balls there, and everybody thought it was Sooooo cute when Nummy played with the ball - probably because the ball was bigger than her whole head!

There were 5 or 6 of these balls floating around, but whenever I tried to play with one, Nummy would try to take it away from me. And naturally, I would try to get it back.

So when Mom wanted to get a "cute" picture of Nummy carrying the ball (something I do EVERYday, and somehow it isn't "cute"), I found myself locked out on the deck. Hmmmph.

Here is the "cute" picture of Nummy carrying her dumb old ball.

Here is the correct way to carry a ball.

Here, Nummy sees her dumb old ball lying about 1 inch away from me, so she is planning how she is going to steal it. Note the look of pure evil in her eyes!

The nice man at the vacation house knew that the scratchy old upholstery on the chairs in the house would be uncomfortable for my highly sensitive skin, so as soon as he saw me, he got some very soft, 100,000 count bed sheets and covered ALL the chairs, just for me!

This one is my favorite chair (because it is close to the remote!)

The vacation house man played with me a lot, and I think he plans to make something very special from all the hair I shedded while I was there, because everytime he saw some of it gathered around a chair leg, or a table leg, or tumbling around on their hardwood floor somewhere, he leaped up and grabbed it. I'm sure he has a nice collection of it by now. He's probably going to make a sweater, or maybe a vest.

I pulled some mean tricks on Mom while I was there - I ran away from home twice, and made her chase me up and down that whole mountain. It was pretty funny.

I had a really good time, but I am sure glad to be back home!

But I forgot to tell you the horrible thing - I was getting very nervous when Mom was packing to leave, and carrying Gingey everywhere, and I put him down in the vacation lady's office, and WE LEFT HIM THERE! It is a tragedy!! I am lost without my Gingey. Mom says they will mail him to me soon, so for now, I am carrying around the carcass of poor piggy baby. It's really just part of the head, with one arm and leg still attached, and no stuffing - it is pitiful!
I want my Gingey!

PS: Happy Father's Day to all you great dads out there!

Didja Miss Me?

2009-05-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on the computer in awhile - My Mom has been hogging it a lot!

Plus, Blogger quit telling me when you nice peoples made comments on my Blog, so I thought all my friends were on vacation!

I have an ear infection right now, and my ears are all red and swollen and itchy, and Mom says it makes my breath and my head all stinky, but I don't know about that.

She has to give me ear medicine a lot, and I don't mind, but whenever I see her with the bottle, I jump on the bed and do this with my foot - she calls me Foot Boy when I do it. Then she puts the medicine in whichever ear is sticking up, and she says "Flip!" and I turn over so she can doctor on the other ear. I really don't mind., but I make a big show out of it.

See you soon!

Ring Thing

2009-05-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

You may remember my red ring toy from the dreadful things Mom did to my new ginger baby on my birthday....

But anyway, now that it is free again, I am playing with it a lot more - and when I carry it, I always carry it like this, which my Mom seems to think is High-larious. I don't know why.

When I had to go out this morning (OK, when I had to go out the 14th time...) I chose red ring as the special toy I carried to the back door. I always carry one of my toys everywhere I go, but sometimes I forget where I leave them!

Does that ever happen to anyone else?

So, since I'm not allowed to take my inside toys outside, I put red ring down, and when I came back, it was right where I left it, so I carried it back upstairs and hopped back up on Mom's messy Sunday morning bed.

We are having a very lazy day today. I keep trying to get Mom to play with me outside, but she's not having any of it.

Phooey.

It's my birthday again!

2009-05-01T16:36:00.001-07:00

Yep - I'm 10 years old now, and Mom got me the bestest present EVER!

Y'all know I love babies - and today Mom gave me this giant gingerbread man baby - he is so soft and lovable!

Of course, my Mom loves jewelry, and so she took my poor innocent stuffed red ring toy, and turned it into a necklace for my new birthday baby. I didn't like it one bit, and kept trying to take it off, but I couldn't get it off my new baby, so Mom finally got the hint, and took it off.

Look! This is my biggest baby ever!

Here's my poor baby with his "necklace".

This is my red ring - it is a great toy, too!

I love my new baby!

It makes a great pillow, too!

Well, by now, you all know that my pizza poll has ended (thanks for voting!), and "the whole thing" won. Well, Mom and I have decided to compromise. She just doesn't feel like I should eat a whole pizza, so instead of thin crust pizza, she has started ordering stuffed crust pizza, and she lets me have most of the crust. Not all of it, but most of it, so I'm pretty happy!

I went Ptui!!

2009-04-13T17:08:00.000-07:00

Most of you know by now that I am somewhat of a canine-oisseur when it comes to snacks. I love me some good treats!

And one of my favoritist treats is Snausages - I love 'em!

Mom doesn't buy them very often, but she picked some up at the store last week, and when she opened them, she was really surprised to find bacon-looking stuff in there, instead of those cute, juicy, delicious snausages that I love so much. But she thought the Snausage people had just goofed up, and she kept giving me one of the bacon thingies every day - and I ate them, but I have to be honest with you --- they're TERRIBLE!! They taste like 2-year old shoe leather, and they are really hard to chew. I chew, and chew, and chew, and don't get very far with them. But hey, it's a treat - better than dogfood!

But on Saturday, Mom reached in the bag, and grabbed a bacon chew, and gave it to me, and while I was chewing, and chewing, and chewing, something deep inside the bag caught Mom's eye - it was yellow, and she reached through all the bacon, and pulled out a little chewy fried egg!

That's when Mom read the bag, and saw that these were Snausage Breakfast Bites! She held on to the fried egg, waiting for me to finish the bacon, but I just chewed, and chewed, and I kept seeing and smelling that egg, so I suddenly went "ptui!" and spit that dumb old bacon chew all the way across the kitchen, and jumped up and grabbed the egg out of Mom's hand. I sort of surprised Mom - the only other time I ever ptui-ed anything, it was a plain old dry piece of lettuce - yuck!

So now, I won't even put those silly bacon chews in my mouth - I hold out for those delicious eggie chews!

Yea!

2009-04-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

Yea! Check out my poll!

"The whole thing" is winning! I just know everything will work out in my favor this time!

Double Yea!

We had company last weekend!

My friend Kathy came to visit me - remember? I went to visit her last year - and now she came to my house! This is a picture of her cooking me a special treat when we were at her house.

She is really nice, and played with me, especially early in the morning when my Mom was still snoozing - Kathy sat out in the backyard with me, like a proper visitor, and talked to me and patted me.

And Kathy brought a really nice lady named Mary with her, and Mary was my favorite, because she gave me treats. All the time! Really delicious treats, like shrimp, and chicken, and cake!

And I get to go visit them really soon - I can't wait!

About 2 weeks ago, after I had been out in the backyard for a really really long time, I came inside, and started to throw up.

I couldn't stop! It was all brown and gross, and I couldn't stop, and bad brown stains got all over Mom's carpet and her bed. She didn't yell at me, because she knew I was really sick. But she thought I had been eating poop (again), so she gave me her dumb lecture about how eating poop always makes me sick - I just ignored her, and kept throwing up for a really long time.

Mom had to get a special carpet cleaner to get the brown stuff out of the carpet.

Then, about 3 days later, I started doing my "New Bone Dance" on Mom's bed, while she was working on the computer. My New Bone Dance is a very special dance that I do whenever Mom gets me a new bone - I hop around, and bark a really shrill high bark, and tap my front foot on the new bone so that it hops around on the bed and I can chase it. It's fun!

Except that Mom was very suspicious, because she hadn't bought me any new bones....

But I am a very resourceful dog - see...

I had found this bone in my very own backyard:

Mom jumped up and snatched it away from me, and threw it away in the outside trash so I couldn't get it.

But HaHa! There's a whole bunch more where that came from!

Mom is starting to suspect that this bone is somehow related to all that throwing up I did - she thinks I was eating some dead animal - but I'll never tell!

She thinks it's a rib bone, and she seems to think it's a pretty big one, for me anyway -

Now I know to chew them when she isn't watching. Moms are weird sometimes.

New poll!

2009-03-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

I snuck on the computer and made a new poll, so vote if you get a chance! Thanks!

My Mom hasn't been home much lately, because our good friend is sick in the hospital, and Mom goes there before and after work everyday. I hope she gets better soon - she is my bestest friend, and I visit her at her house a lot. She has 2 dogs, but I just jump on the sofa to get away from them - they are yappy and pesty. I don't mean that is their names - their names are Roscoe and Little Bit - but they bug me.

My friend Judy is really nice, and gives me lots of pats and rubs, and lots of treats. She doesn't care if I get all over her furniture, because she is dog people! She comes to my house to see me, too, and even babysits me sometimes when Mom goes out of town.

Get well, Judy!

We have another friend coming to visit us next weekend. She is teaching a class at my Mom's store, and will be here for a few days - she is dog people, too, so I can't wait!

Pizza Pizza

2009-03-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

Remember how I told you that something wonderful happened when Mom and I got home from the park last week?

Well, the doorbell rang, and it was my favorite person in the whole world, next to my Mom: The Pizza Hut Guy!

That's right, folks - you voted, and made it happen! So, thanks!

Mom said this pizza was mine, because of the results of my blog poll, so this shows the Pizza Guy giving me my pizza.

Then Mom fixed our plate, and we went upstairs. She had to put the plate on the bed while she put down her drink, and I know I'm not allowed to touch the plate until she says "OK", so I didn't, even though it was MY PIZZA.

So Mom started eating, and as usual, all I got were the crusts. I think a couple of the crusts had some sauce on them, but really, it was just crust. Dumb old crust.

But it was pizza crust, and that beats out dog food any day!

Then Mom finally said "OK", and I got to clean up her empty plate. Whoopdie do.

Then we went back down to the kitchen, and Mom put the whole pizza box on the floor, so I just knew NOW was my turn.

It certainly smelled like pizza.....

But it was just an empty box.

Mom is very concerned about my health, and once again had sacrificed herself so I would not eat bad-for-me food.

My crusts were really good, but I wanted some real pizza!

Please vote in my next poll - I must somehow make Mom see the error of her ways!

And I may just have to tell America that we actually had Pizza Hut delivery on Tuesday and again on Friday this week - 'cause Mom is not much of a cook! But that's OK - more crusts for me!

I have a bone to pick with....

2009-03-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

these people.

Ahem --- They have obviously miscounted.

Then even used a golden as the iconic picture for this article -

Goldens are the smartest dogs ever - my Mom says so, so I know it's true.

Goldens Rule, PetMD drools.

Remind me to tell you MY newspaper-carrying story sometime.

Another Day at the Park

2009-03-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

On Sunday morning, Mom got up and got dressed and everything, and then told me to go get my leash!

My leash!! I love my leash!

And then we got in the car, and took a long ride, and wound up at the dog-rubbin' par k again!

There were a ton of cars parked there, and Mom had to park a long way away, in the arboretum parking lot, and we got out and started walking uphill to the dog-rubbin' park.

It was a really long way, and Mom thought she should carry my leash, but I had a better idea, so I took it away from her. She was carrying my brand new soccer ball, anyway, so I was really just trying to help!

We passed 2 guys playing frisbee, and I would have gone over to play, too, but I never get side-tracked when I'm carrying my leash. I mostly stayed on the grass, but sometimes I went in the street, but it was OK, because everyone that comes there is always looking out for dogs, so it's pretty safe.

Someone even tried to pick me up!

Not like this, sillies.

This guy in a pick up truck, with a young golden retriever in the back, started following my Mom, and asked her if I was a boy or girl dog. Isn't that perfectly obvious?

Anyway, he kept going on and on about how he was trying to find a boy dog for his 3 year-old girl dog, blah blah blah. He kept following my Mom, who thought the whole thing was weird and creepy, because I am clearly a pretty mature dog (wait, is that an insult?) - anyway, Mom thinks he was really trying to pick up girl humans, and just using that pretty golden retriever in his truck as bait.

So anyway, I got to the dog-rubbin' park gate a long time before my Mom - she's a slow walker.

Once we got inside, she made me take off my leash, and then she threw away my brand new soccer ball! I panicked, and ran after it, but I was too late - this dog totally stole my new ball!

Look at him!

His owners thought it was funny. I did not.

Here is a very close-up shot of this character.

I hope you guys will help me get the word out on the web - this dog is a Dirty Rotten Ball-Stealer.

Be warned!

So like I said, it was really crowded at the park.

This little guy was flying all over the place. I think all four of his legs are actually off the ground in this shot. Notice how he politely ignores my brand new soccer ball!

I'm not at all sure what is going on here. This woman always had a big crowd around her, and was holding up this wierd-faced space alien creature.

Does it look one bit happy?

It was even crowded at the water bowl.

That little dog in the back was confused, and thought it was a wading pool!

I politely waited my turn, and Mom poured in fresh water for me,

'cause that other dog had left it all brown and muddy.

So then I settled in for some serious rubbin'.

I scouted out all the opportunities - this was a nice lady - she understood that the butt is the best rubbin' spot.

This was a really nice lady! She was sitting down on a tree, just waiting for me!

This guy won the best rubbin' award this time, though - he not only rubbed, but he talked to me, too! That earns lots of bonus points!

Here's a picture of me talking to him, too.

Then the bestest thing happened. They have now put a park bench in the rubbin' park, and 3 ladies had been hogging it, but one finally got up, so Mom went over there to rest while I met all the other peoples. When I saw Mom sit down, I raced over to the bench, and hopped up between her and the 2 other ladies, and they laughed! Then, I stretched out so I was lying down in all of their laps at the same time, and I had 3 people rubbin' on me at one time! It was excellent.

It was 80 degrees that day, so of course, I was shedding even more than usual, now that summer is coming, so I made sure those 2 nice ladies had a lot of valuable golden retriever hair to take home with them.

Mom didn't even get lost one time on the way home, and I was really thirsty when we got back home.

And the day wasn't even over yet - the most incredible thing happened when we got home, but I will have to tell you about it next time!

I stick my tongue out at you!

2009-03-06T17:33:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I came into the kitchen while Mom was cooking dinner, and she got really scared when she saw me, and came running over to me, which kind of freaked me out.

Mainly, because I thought she might not finish cooking dinner.

I have my priorities, you know!

But the real reason she came running over was because I had found this new toy in one of the rooms Mom had been cleaning, and evidently Mom thought this stuffed ear off one of my old Babies was actually my very own tongue, and that it was swollen or something. I don't know.
Whatever.

She was acting all freaky, and normally when she tries to take my toys, it's because we are playing tug-of-war, so naturally when she reached for my mouth, I turned my head away, so that freaked her out more, because she thought I was hurting, and wouldn't let her touch my poor swollen tongue. But when I turned around to tease her some more, she saw that it was just a Baby ear (with a squeaky still in it! The best kind!!).

So she starting laughing, and then went back to cooking dinner.

Thank goodness.

What a day!

2009-03-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

Today sure wasn't boring !

Mom got up really early, let me out, and made her coffee and breakfast without even feeding me ..... I think she is finally learning!

Then she took a shower, and finally she gave me my breakfast. Yay!

Then the doorbell rang, so I rushed over to check it out, and it was a very friendly-looking guy with a bunch of tools. I love company!

I rushed out to give him a proper greeting (I even jumped up and kissed his face!) and he rubbed me, and he and Mom headed upstairs. So naturally I realized it was a race, and I started running, and I beat both of them to the top!

He went into the extra bathroom that Mom uses for storage (Mom has a LOT of stuff) and started to work with his tools, and I helped him a little, but then Mom started putting away laundry in the bedroom, and I have to always keep an eye on Mom, so I rushed into the bedroom, only to discover that there was no room on the bed for me.

Mom had covered the whole bed with stacks of laundry.

So I had to pout in my bed, giving her the evil eye.

Then she turned her back for a second, and I snuck out of my bed, and spied a teeny-tiny space on the bed where I thought I could fit, so I jumped up, and when Mom turned around again, she was surprised to see me all squished in there.

The nice man finished in the bathroom really fast, but it took Mom a long long time to put away all her laundry.

Then the doorbell rang, again! Twice in one day! More company!

It was the lady that comes help Mom move stuff all around the house. This is some weird game they play every Monday. They open drawers, and closets, and move stuff from room to room, and put a lot of stuff in the trash. They don't pay much attention to me, even when I try to help. The lady doesn't like me - Mom says she is afraid of dogs. I try to be extra nice to her, and I even jumped up and gave her a big face kiss today, and that got me shut up in the bedroom for a while. :(

Then they started playing in the closet where Mom keeps all her coats and purses, and I got pretty freaked out, 'cause it looked like it does when Mom is packing to go on a trip! I was afraid. So I stole one of Mom's gloves that fell on the floor, and tried to play keep-away with the lady, but she only tattled to my Mom that I had the glove. But HA! Mom doesn't care when I steal her socks or her gloves, because I am always very careful with them. So HaHa, big tattletale!

Then they put all the stuff back in the closet again, and the lady left.

And now Mom and I are watching TV.

See ya later!

Boring Day

2009-03-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

It has been raining for 2 days.

I'm bored. Mom doesn't have time to play with me, because she has been taking a bunch of dumb old pictures all day.

She even locked me out of our bedroom, because she washed the comforter today, so she didn't want me on her bed. She wasn't in the bedroom - she was down in the bonus room taking pictures, but I don't like the bonus room, so I either stayed by the front door, or went outside.

I was lonely.

I don't like the rain, but since I was so bored, I kept asking Mom to let me out, and I would go out in the middle of the backyard and just lie down in the rain.

When Mom got the comforter out of the dryer, she put it back on the bed, and let me back in the bedroom. I jumped up on the bed, and Mom started working on the computer, but I am still bored and mopey. I want to sit in her lap for snuggles!

Mom took some pictures of what the rain did to my hair - she calls it a mohawk.

Pretty soon, Mom's fresh clean comforter will smell good again, because I am going to roll all over it as soon as she isn't looking.

I wish it was snowing instead of raining.

Do YOU See the Humor?

2009-02-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

Someone sent this to my Mom - It is supposed to be some kind of High-larious joke, but I don't get it:

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door:

Dear Dogs:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print or slobber in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell other dogs' butts. Kiss me first, then lick your own private parts. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less

(2) don't ask for money all the time

(3) are easier to train

(4) normally come when called (bribing with treats may be necessary)

(5) never ask to drive the car

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people

(7) don't smoke or drink

(8) don't want to wear your clothes

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ....

I am now accepting rebuttals - please leave them in my comments!

I'll start: Racing on the stairs is absolutely vital, because if my owner is going downstairs, there is probably going to be a food opportunity, and I want to be first in line! And if she is going upstairs, the only way for me to get the best spot on the bed, is to beat her to it!

My newest Baby

2009-02-24T09:20:00.000-08:00

Lookie what I got! Mom bought me a new baby!

It came to live with me on Saturday!

I love this baby! It squeaks, and has a good chewy neck, and Mom and I can play tug of war with it!

Mom calls it Ugly Baby. That's mean. All babies are beautiful, and yummy!

Speaking of yummy, today is the last day to vote in my poll! Don't forget!

Pizza is winning!!!!

Barefoot in the Park, Part 2

2009-02-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry it took me so long to get the second part of this up - Mom has been hogging the computer, and she found out I was using it when she was at work, so now she has been putting it up when she is gone. But no worries, I will foil her attempts to monitor my internet activity! If I can learn how to open a door, I can learn how to open her laptop!

Anyway, back to my story.

All the dogs at the park started to follow me - probably because I am so pretty! BOL!

Then Mom took this picture of me, which was just plain rude - dogs need privacy, too!

I just wanted to meet all the people at the park, and these dogs kept getting in my way!

That little white and brown dog is Oliver - he was everywhere! He was like the Energizer Bunny - he liked to run and run and run!

But here he is trying to keep me from getting some rubs!

And this black dog was all kinds of trouble!

Look at him trying to steal my tennis ball!

Here's a bunch of dancing doggies - I'm just not into that kind of stuff, although I have been known to dance with my Mom.

And look who's right in there, trying to dance: that same ball-stealing black dog!

So here is how I told Mom I was DONE with this park thing -

I put on my tired face, and started heading for the gate.

Other dogs at the gate were waiting for that lady to let her dog in - they are like the park greeters, or something.

But I edged in front of them, planning my escape!

And I almost made it, but that lady caught on, and foiled my plan. She used her knee to nudge me back inside the gate.

So Mom got my leash out her bag (that's her bag hanging on the fence behind me)- and I got all excited, because I love my leash!

She put my leash on me, and I started prancing around the park with my leash - I was so happy, I didn't want to leave anymore!

One guy at the park kept calling me a "show-off".

I'm not sure what that means, but I think he was jealous. His dogs probably don't know how to carry their own leashes, so he has to do it!

But I can walk myself wherever I want to!

So Mom and I left the doggy park, and walked all around the rest of Pendleton King Park.

I checked out this pretty gazebo - but it was boring.

Then Mom walked right past our car, and headed out of the park!

That confused me. But I was walking with my leash, so I didn't really care.

Mom read this boring sign.

Then she took about a hundred pictures of this house.

Mom can be really weird sometimes.

I was SO bored. She tells all about this boring stuff in her blog.

We finally headed back to the car! Yea! I love the car!

And she got really, really lost. I didn't know it at the time, but we were headed over to her shop, but I knew we were driving in circles, getting nowhere.

Mom talks to herself in the car sometimes, so I finally figured out where we were going, and here is a picture of me trying to tell her which way to go.

She didn't listen to me, and kept driving in circles. But we finally got to the shop (after she stopped for some fried chicken - and she didn't share ANY of it with me!)

I am always a big help at Mom's shop.

This picture shows me heading back to the classroom, so I can help everybody with their class.

Look how ready I am, in case someone needs help!

I help the students a lot, but the person who needs my help the most is this guy - he's the teacher. His name is Daniel, and I help him all the time.

I'm heading over to help him organize his tools.

I'm making sure he puts everything where it belongs.

I'm standing in his toolbox, so he will know where to put that Dremel thing.

I watched him very closely when he was polishing the student's pieces with it, and I almost got my nose polished!

I like helping with Mom's classes! I get lots of pats and rubs!

And I even got some Cheez-its!

Finally, I was ready to go, but Mom wasn't.

So I had to dance around the door with my Baby, so she would get the message.

She finally got my leash, and we went home.

She promised that she would get me a new soccer ball (FINALLY!) and take me back to the park. That will be fun, because I love playing soccer!

Barefoot in the Park, Part 1

2009-02-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

Mom and I went to the dog park on Sunday .

I was really excited, but let's face it - I get excited just going out to get the mail everyday! If my leash is involved, I act like a ridiculous fool!

And if a car ride is involved - Oh Boy!!

Mom got lost 3 times on the way to the park, but we finally got there. I was about to jump out the car window when Mom parked the car, and she finally calmed me down and got me out of the car, and we headed over to the park.

I saw all those other dogs in there, but there was a big fence around the park, and when Mom and I got close to the fence, all these dogs stormed over to the gate, and I got a little scared.

But Mom made me go in anyway, and then she immediately took off my leash, and we walked around a little. The first thing I did was make a big poop - so Mom cleaned that up, and then she got out my tennis ball and threw it, so I chased it, and brought it back to her. She threw it again, but I refuse to chase balls if she is just going to throw them away again, so she had to go pick it up herself this time.

And then I got down to business.

I realized that there were a whole bunch of people at the dog park just waiting to rub me, and I set out to meet every single one of them!

This nice lady had set up a chair right inside the gate, and I headed over to her first, because she was down at my level, clearly inviting me over!

Then I introduced myself to this nice lady.

Then I met this nice man - he was a good back-rubber.

See - here he is again - he really knows how to find that sweet spot!

This was a super nice lady - I spent a lot of time with her, 'cause she would bend over and rub me and talk to me.

This little boy is Sam - he was really nice to me, and patted me a lot. He belongs to the nice lady in the pink shirt.

She explained to Sam not to rub my hair backwards, because it feels funny!

Here I am with Sam again, and that nice man that rubbed my back earlier - now he's rubbing my butt! I don't know about you, but I love a good butt rubbin'.

Then I met this lady - she rubbed my back for awhile....

And then she bent down and gave me a nice butt-rubbin'!

Then I headed back to the lady in the chair -

I backed up to her, so she would understand that I like to have my butt rubbed. Look what a good job she's doing.

But that black dog was jealous - he followed me from person to person, trying to horn in on my action.

I'll tell you more about my big trip next time!

Don't forget to vote in my poll!

Mom promises to make some changes, depending on the results of the poll!

And may I just say, Mom bought me a rawhide bone last Saturday, and I carry it around some, but I have only chewed it once - rawhide bones are just NOT a good treat. I would rather chew my babies! The only time I will chew a rawhide bone is when Mom holds one end of it for me, and I am snuggling in her lap. Mom says that is because I am man-ip-u-la-tive. I don't know what that means - but I know it means I have my Mom very well-trained.

I'm looking for some bloggy followers, too! You don't have to follow so closely that you're sniffing my butt or anything, but I'd love some more followers!

See you soon!

Tomorrow's the Day!

2009-02-14T18:48:00.001-08:00

It rained all day today, but the weatherman says it will be Sunday tomorrow, and Mom says we are going to the park!

After that, don't tell anybody, but I have to go to her bead shop with her, because she has a class there - she sometimes does special classes on Sundays, and sometimes I go. I am not sure I like it there - it has a lot of different smells, and lots of peoples, and I am used to being alone with Mom.

I run around the whole time I'm there, and I help all the people do their classes - this is how I help: I walk around and around the table, and when I see someone holding their elbow really really still, I pop up and push their elbow really hard with my nose. THAT really gets their attention! Mom hates when I do that, but the students know I am just helping.

I get really bored there, and every 10 minutes I tell Mom I need to go outside.

But I might be really tired at the shop tomorrow, from having so much fun in the park!

Yea!

Please vote in my dog treat poll - I think that if Pizza wins, things could really be changing around here!

Hurry up Sunday!

2009-02-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am so excited that I have been dancing around a lot today!Sometimes I make my Mom trip when I dance around, 'cause I go around and around in circles, and around her legs, and she never anticipates my next move - but I just get so excited some times!

And guess what!

Didja guess?

Mom did some research, and found out all about the local dog park, and promised me we would go on Sunday, as long as it isn't raining!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope the dog park has a really cool pool, like this one -

that looks so coooool!

Or maybe a beach, like this one!

I looove the beach!

The beach has pelicans, and I swim and swim and chase them all away! Pelicans are kinda like squirrels - you chase and chase, but you hardly ever catch one. But a dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do!

So I hope this is what I'm doing on Sunday!

They Were Right!

2009-02-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

You know all those "experts" who say that dogs and their owners tend to look alike?

Kinda like these pics:

These folks do sort of resemble their doggies -

and I have noticed this tendency a lot on my own, by watching the folks walking their dogs in my neighborhood, and especially watching TV!

I love TV (just like my Mom)

My Mom and I have the exact same color of hair.

Mom won't let me show any pictures of her - she is real shy - not like me at all!

One of my Mom's friends painted this picture of my Mom on a rock -

My Mom has blue eyes, and red hair like me, but she doesn't look like a rock!

But anyway, my Mom sent me this link that is supposed to tell you what your personality is like, based on your blog writing style! So I figured I would check it out, and this is what it said about me:

My blog analysis indicates that I am of the type:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves. The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

This is exactly like me!

And sure enough, these are the same results my Mom got when she analyzed her blog!

So those experts are right - pets and owners tend to be a lot alike!

My Mom doesn't have as much hair as I do, and she doesn't smell as good as I do, but otherwise, you can hardly tell us apart!

Tag - I'm it!

2009-02-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

My new friend Lola inspired this post -

Last week, my friend Carol Dean asked me to play tag with her, and this was the result.

It was a lot of fun!

PS - Lola, check out #16!

Creatures of Habit

2009-01-26T08:51:00.001-08:00

Warning! Do not read this if you have a delicate constitution!

You know, dogs are creatures of habits - we all have our little rituals.

People do, too - they just don't like to admit it. But I know ALL my Mom's rituals, and I have carefully and strategically adapted my behaviors to best suit my Mom's, 'cause that's what good companions do!

So, here is a list of my daily rituals - this is what I do on days that Mom has to go to work - which is almost everyday.

1. When Mom's alarm goes off, she shuts it off and sleeps some more, and the alarm goes off again, and she hits it, and then she lies in bed for a little while mumbling and groaning about not wanting to get up. After about 10 minutes of this, she says my name, and then I know I can get up on the bed for morning snuggles. I LOVE morning snuggles!

2. Then, Mom tells me we have to get up, and she goes into her bathroom for a minute, and then we go downstairs and she lets me out for potty time, and then I rush back inside, because it is:

3.Breakfast time! Breakfast time! I love breakfast! I have the same thing, everyday. But that's OK! I love breakfast!

4) While I'm eating, Mom goes to take a shower. When I finish my breakfast, I rush upstairs and lie on her bed, watching the bathroom door very closely.

5) When she finishes her shower, and finishes putting on all her face creams and lotions, she opens the bathroom door, and I rush in, get a drink of water from my bowl, and lick all of her bathroom towels. Mom thinks this is gross, but it is really delicious. Try it sometime!

6) Mom starts to blow-dry her hair, and I rush over so she will blow my hair, too, because I love the blow-dryer. Mom teases me sometimes by blowing my face, and that makes me bark and bark, and then I turn around so she will blow my back, and rub me.

7) I always try to lick off her leg lotion, and she always tells me no.

8) Then I start to growl softly, because that is how I tell Mom I need to go outside again.

9) Mom turns off the blow-dryer, and takes me downstairs and lets me out. I spend a lot of time walking around, looking for squirrels and stuff, plus I do all my other business. When I am finished, I come back inside (I know how to open the door) and head for the love seat in the living room, ... and get comfy.

10) When Mom is finally ready for work, she comes downstairs, and checks to make sure I am inside (I am almost always on the love seat, but sometimes I like to laze around outside in the sun). If I haven't come inside yet, I refuse to come in until she bribes me with a biscuit.

11) Then, Mom tells me goodbye, and leaves for work, and I begin my daily duties.

Notice: no where in that schedule did Mom eat breakfast - she never eats breakfast when she is going to work - I don't understand it - I could NEVER skip breakfast - but my Mom does.

But here's the thing - If it is a day when Mom does NOT go to work, I have to switch up my ritual a little bit in order to accomodate hers. You must understand, this is all to help out my Mom!

1) I immediately know it is a day when she is staying home, because her alarm never goes off - this is good is some ways, because I know she will be staying home with me, and playing with me. And it is bad in some ways, because she sleeps a really really long time some times, and I have to wait and wait and wait to go outside in the morning - and sometimes I really need to go! But I never wake her up, because I am a good dog!

2) We have our morning snuggles, and she goes to her bathroom, and then she takes me downstairs and lets me out.

3) I rush rush rush out, and then I rush back inside, because I know she will be eating breakfast!

4) She gives me my breakfast, and starts to cook hers. Her breakfasts are always more delicious than mine.

5) She takes her breakfast and her coffee upstairs to eat in bed while she watches some TV, and as soon as I finish my breakfast, I rush upstairs and jump on her bed. Sometimes I finish my breakfast before she finishes cooking hers, and I beat her upstairs.

6) Then, I start to heave and heave, and I throw up my breakfast in the middle of her bed, so that I will have more room in my tummy in case she wants to share her breakfast with me.

7) Then Mom has to put her breakfast down, and she is yelling at me, and she starts to clean up my breakfast, so I start to help her - she can't just throw away my perfectly good breakfast - so I eat some of it again, and she throws some of it away, all the time fussing at me. How can she throw away my own perfectly good breakfast? I always intend to go back and eat it after I finish helping her with HER breakfast. I think it is mean, and wasteful.

8) Then Mom finishes her breakfast, and sometimes she shares the tail end of it with me, and then she washes her comforter.

But here's the thing - I do this every single time that Mom cooks breakfast for herself. For years and years, Mom thought I was sick, and she almost took me to the doctor one time, to make sure I didn't have a bad illness.

Then, all of a sudden, after 9 years of this same ritual, this morning my Mom made the brilliant deduction that I was doing this on purpose, and she decided that on days she was staying home and eating breakfast, she wasn't going to give me MY breakfast until long after she finishes hers.

That's not fair.

So Many New Friends!

2009-01-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

This has been a really exciting week for me!

So many new friends have come to meet me and visit me here on my blog - I was going to put their pictures on here, but there are just too many!

Take a look at my bloggy friends over there ------>

and check them out - they are so nice!

The only thing that would make this weekend even better is if Mom would take me to the new doggy park over in Augusta - maybe you can leave her a few comments, and help me convince her!

Good things come in Orange Packages

2009-01-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

First, let me start by saying I looooooove Cheez-its!

Mom's favorite flavor is Parmesan and Garlic - they're OK, but the bestest Cheez-its are the plain cheesy ones, and the second best is White Cheddar, but now Mom only buys Parmesan and Garlic, so what can I do?

Mom and I have Cheez-its lots of time for nighttime snacks.

Sometimes, she forgets that I need my nighttime Cheez-its, and if the box is anywhere in our room, I will go stand in front of it and stare at it, so she will remember.

So, last night I was really excited because as soon as Mom got home from work, she grabbed a brand new FULL box and brought it upstairs, and threw it on the bed while she changed clothes.

I just knew good things were coming my way!

But then, as usual, she got out her dumb old computer, and started playing with it instead of with me, and soon enough, she forgot all about the Cheez-its.

I even grabbed the box and brought it closer to her, but she wouldn't get off the computer. For Hours. And Hours.

But finally she did, and then we had snacks!

And then the best thing EVER happened - Mom put the box on the pillow next to her so she could keep playing on the dumb computer, and she forgot all about the Cheez-its. I wanted more Cheez-its, and I kept bugging her, but she ignored me. I kept creeping closer and closer to the pillow, trying to get her to give me some, but nothing.

And then I creeped one more time, and the whole OPEN box fell off the bed, and I leaped for it, and Mom pushed her computer off her lap and tried to grab the box, but it was too late. There were millions of Cheez-its on the floor, and Mom let me have ALL of them!

You probably remember that I like to recycle the Cheez-it boxes when they are empty.

But we didn't empty the box last night, even after it fell off the bed, so that means more Cheez-its for me, soon!

Then I will get rid of that empty box, and a new full box will magically appear in the kitchen!

And did you know that I love Cheez-its soooo much that I will even do dumb tricks to get them?

Oh well - anything for that cheezy goodness, I guess.

No - not anything. I will NOT wear a hat just to get a Cheez-it.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-11T17:24:00.001-08:00

Another year has come and gone, and once again those people next door made all those dreadful bang-bang noises that are so scary!

I always have to find somewhere safe to hide, but where I can still keep an eye on my Mom.

I like her closet the best.

I know the noises scare my Mom, too, because she keeps calling and calling me to come get in the bed with her, but I just can't, because it is too close to the noises!

And I can't go outside, either - it is way scarier than thunder and lightning.

I hope all of you don't have bad neighbors, and had a good New Year!

Mom brought a special treat home for me yesterday, because I am always so good!

She likes to get salads from Zaxby's, but she doesn't like the bread, so she saves it for me.

This time, it had salad juice on it, so it was extra delicious!

When I saw what Mom had in her hands, and smelled it, I dropped my babies (I was carrying 2 babies!) really fast and got busy!

I just wish Mom would bring me a whole salad some time, 'cause I am always really good, and I'm pretty sure salads are good for me.

See you later!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't had much time for blogging ever since Mom bought her bead shop.

Now that she is gone a lot during the day (and sometimes at night, too) I have so much more to do here at the house! I have to patrol, and watch for bad squirrels, and bad cats, and those crazy people that keep walking around and around the neighborhood (don't they know they are just going in a big circle, getting nowhere?)

Sometimes Mom takes me to the shop with her, but please don't tell anyone, because I am not supposed to be there. Mom says the landlords don't approve of dogs - have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?

So here is how I am spending the holidays:

Here's my best smile!

And here's me taking a nap with my new Christmas Baby, while Mom works on the computer.

Hope your holidays were great!

Mom took me on a trip!

2008-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

I got really upset a couple of weeks ago, because mom started packing her suitcases, and that usually means she is going away, and leaving me at my doctor's office. So I paced around a lot, and acted really squirrely (according to Mom), and then the next morning, she put the suitcases in the car, and I kept blocking her way, and then jumping in and out of the backseat. Then she told me to go get my leash, which is fun for me, but I was still suspicious. But I got my leash, and got in the car, and off we went.

And we drove and drove and drove a really long way, and I forgot all about being nervous, and Mom stopped one time and got French Fries and we shared them. I LOVE French Fries!

Then we stopped along side of the road, and Mom got me out of the car so I could pee, and then we just played beside the car for a while, and then this really nice lady in a really big car pulled up, and talked to my Mom, and then we got back in the car and followed her. And we drove straight up a mountain, and then we stopped at a house, and climbed up a lot of stairs, and at the top of the stairs there were 2 other dogs!

And those dogs barked and barked and barked at me!

But they were really nice dogs - I think we just surprised them.

One of them was a tiny puppy named Kuda. Kuda likes to play all the time, and she kept stealing my Baby. I got really tired of that, even though I was a guest at her house, so I finally started stealing her Babies! Her babies were smaller than mine, and I shook them really hard, but she still played with mine!

The other dog was Tai, a really nice cocker spaniel. Tai doesn't like toys; she only likes food and bones. She stole all my bones, and kept trying to steal my breakfast! But Mom always made sure I got all my breakfast, and Mom snuck me some bones when we went to bed at night.

Kuda had a toy box just like the one I have at home, and it was really hard for her to get her toys out of it, because she is so little. But it was easy for me to get them out of there!

Kuda always tried to get me to play with her. Sometimes I was too tired.

Kuda's Dad liked to play tug of war with me, so we did that a lot while Mom was gone during the day. We watched TV, too. I love TV!

This was my chair on vacation. It wasn't nearly big enough for me, and to make it worse, Mom would sit it in when she got home, and then I would have to get up in the chair and share it with her, 'cause I like sitting with my Mom, but we really needed a bigger chair!

I really liked the vacation I took with my Mom! But I was glad to come home to my bed and my toys!

Cone? What cone?

2008-08-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

Before we went on vacation, Mom and I went out in the yard to play, and she was really surprised when I showed her that I can still play soccer, even though I was still wearing the cone on my head.

I could still pick up the ball, and run fast, and Mom still couldn't catch me!

I need a new soccer ball, don't you think?

I'll show you what I did on vacation next time!

Ouch!

2008-07-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sad - can you tell?

I got bitten by a bug on my back leg, and then I kept scratching it and licking it (because dog licks make everything better!), and I must have been scratching and licking too much, because Mom finally looked at it, and found 2 big sores, and now I have to wear this stupid hat.

And you know how I feel about hats!

I especially hate this hat. I bump into doorways and furniture, and when Mom throws me treats, they bounce off the outside of it. And Mom calls me a "Conehead". Good grief.

Mom is putting medicine on my leg, which is stupid, because if she would just let me lick it, it would get all better!

Notice how I plop down on her jewelry stuff and her computer desk - that'll show her!

This picture show me when I heard the thunder! We have been having a lot of bad thunderstorms, and the thunder is even louder inside this hat.

Please tell my Mom to get me out of here!

Thanks!

I Love Caterpillars

2008-07-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

This is my caterpillar Baby. I have had it for a really long time.

It has a tennis ball in its tail.

It used to have one in its head, but I got that one out!

When I play with my Caterpillar Baby, I grab it by its tennis ball tail, and fling it around and around.

This makes its body get stuck on my nose, and then I can't see!

But I leave the body on my nose, and keep playing, 'cause it it fun!

When I am through, I put my head down and go into my Baby trance.

Sometimes I sit like this for a really long time!

Bang Bang!

2008-07-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a horrible day!

It started off OK - Mom and I slept late, and then we snuggled in bed. I am a good snuggler!

Then, Mom went to work, and I was alone for a while.

Then, Mom came home, and we played soccer until it started thundering and lightning, and raining. It was a bad storm, so I got in bed with Mom so she wouldn't be scared.

But then the rain stopped, and right after that the bad stuff started!

Right outside our bedroom window, our terrible next door neighbors started making the bad bang bang noises they make every summer. It only happens on one day, but that is a horrible day for me!

I have to find a safe place to hide from the bang bang noises! But I have to be near Mom, because I am so scared, and I want to make sure she is OK. So I ask Mom to open her closet, and I go in there and stay for hours, until it stops.

It always lasts a really long time.

Mom tries to get me to come out and sit with her on the bed, but that is too close to the noise.

The bang bang noises finally stop, and I come out of the closet, but I will not go outside, because they might start again! So I can't go potty again until it is daylight, but that is better than getting caught outside with the bad noises!

When Mom came home from work today, I got a new bone!

I chewed it really fast. Now it is gone.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to all the great dads out there!

This is how I am spending today - snoozing on my piggy baby. Babies make great pillows!

Have a fun day, however you spend it!

It is too hot to blog

2008-06-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry folks. I know I haven't blogged in a while, but it is very very very hot here, and I mostly lie around on top of the air conditioning vents, and rest. You probably noticed that I am wearing a long red fur coat, and so I try to shed as much as possible, but it is still pretty hot under here.

About a week ago, before it got so hot, Mom and I played a pretty good game of soccer outside.

Here is my patented "sneak defense." Mom never sees this one coming. I sneak right past her on my tiptoes.

This is me running super fast. Mom can never catch me.

I don't even try this now, though. It is 100 degrees every day!

I stay inside waiting for Mom to get home from work, then I go outside to do my business, and Mom and I go to the mailbox to get the mail, and then we both collapse on the bed!

We will never make it to August at this rate!

I'm Home Again!

2008-05-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

And I stink!

Mom took me to my doctor's office and I had to stay there for a long long long time. Sometimes she does that. I don't know why, but I missed Mom a whole lot, even though there are a lot of nice people there that play with me and take me for walks outside.

I knew something was up when I saw Mom packing her suitcase. Lots of time when she packs a suitcase I end up at the doctor's office.

Then, to make things worse, the day before Mom came and picked me up, they gave me a stinky bath! Doesn't anybody understand how hard I worked to get back my good doggie smell? Now I have to start all over again!

Mom is all confused this morning because I keep trying to take Baby outside with me. What she doesn't know is that the nice ladies at my doctor's office ALWAYS let me take Baby when I go outside, because they don't have dumb rules like Mom does. So Mom and I have had several arguments this morning, but I had to finally let her win, because she is the boss of me.

Speaking of dumb rules, look what I did last night!

When I went outside, I saw my soccer ball! I had almost forgotten about my soccer ball, and I was so excited! Mom was inside taking some dumb old pictures, so I played with my ball for a few minutes outside, but that was no fun, so I took it inside to try to find Mom. She didn't see me, so I took the soccer ball to the bedroom, and played on the bed for a long time. It was a lot of fun! Mom finally came in, and started loading her pictures into the computer, and she still didn't see the soccer ball! When she finally saw it, she said "Bailey..." in that low deep voice that means I shouldn't have done something, but then she started taking pictures, and even played inside soccer with me a little. And then she made me take the ball back outside.

I am glad to be home again!

Taking Mom for a Walk

2008-05-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

I was so happy today! Mom came home from work early, and she took me for a walk. I love to go for walks. Walks are the best!

This pictures shows me dancing around Mom's legs, carrying my leash, because I am so excited.

Now I am standing by the front door, patiently holding my leash, all ready to go. But Mom can't find the key to the door, so I will helpfully walk back and forth from the door to the kitchen over and over until she finds the key. This time-tested technique has never failed to turn up the key in the end.

Now I am all but dancing on my back legs by the front door. I really do make a big deal out of going for a walk, huh?

Finally! I'm out in the real world! No stinking fences! I'm the USS Enterprise of dogs - I must explore strange new worlds, seek out new life, and new civilizations...(Mom and I watch a lot of Star Trek.)

Time's up for today - Now I'm waiting for Mom to make her way back to the porch. As usual, she is not as fast as I am.

Mom is still poking along. I cannot open this door myself unless I put my leash down, and I am NOT putting my leash down. I never put my leash down!

Mom has to forcibly take my leash away from me...

I love my leash.

In other news, I finally, finally smell like a dog again! Mom took me to that place that made me smell bad, and I have worked very hard to get my dog smell back. It is always harder in the winter to find ways to to keep that fresh dog smell, but I am cultivating a few new spots in the backyard!

Live Long and Prosper!

It's my birthday!

2008-05-01T02:23:00.001-07:00

I'm nine years old today!

This picture is totally photoshopped, because you guys know how I feel about hats!

Mom Called Me the B-Word

2008-04-29T06:04:00.000-07:00

Mom bought me a new bone yesterday! At first, I pretended not to want it, and I played with my Baby, and sat in Mom's lap, and ignored the new bone. But I couldn't keep that up for very long.

I love rawhide bones! I chewed, and chewed, and chewed my new bone. Then I needed to go outside.

Naturally, I carried my new bone with me! But when we got to the back door, Mom said, "Drop it, Bailey." I looked at her with total incredulity - I wanted to take my bone with me! Mom just doesn't understand these things!

So, Mom told me to drop it again, and I slowly bent my head down to the floor until the bone bumped the tile, but I kept my new bone in my mouth. Mom opened the door, and I slowly strolled out on to the deck...

And when I got to the edge of the deck, Mom must have looked down at the kitchen floor, because suddenly I was busted. She said, in a really low voice, "Bailey..."

And I turned my head, and she saw the evidence. She said, very quietly, "Bad boy, Bailey. Bring me the bone." But I went out in the yard, and she just closed the door.

Well, now my feelings were hurt, because Mom never calls me the B-word. I was so upset that I didn't even do my business! I raced back in the house, but Mom had already gone back upstairs. I jumped up on the bed, and showed her the bone, and she told me I was a good boy again! Yay!

Happy Earth Day!

2008-04-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Y'all know I am all about the environment. I like to help recycle the garbage, and I make sure all the flower beds in my backyard get fertilized (naturally, of course) frequently. Like, daily.

So, in honor of Earth Day, I am sharing my box recycling technique with you. Be careful, though. This is hard work, and may not be for everybody.

First, of course, I have to get the box out of the trash. Then, I take it to the middle of Mom's bed, so she can appreciate all my hard work, and praise me.

Look at how hard I have to concentrate to do this right!

This is me letting Mom know that I am done, and ready for a treat.

I give her my best smile, but I never get any treats after all this hard work.

Maybe the pieces aren't small enough. I will try harder next time.

Happy Earth Day!