It's my birthday!

Today is my 12-year old birthday! It has been a really fun day.

Mom said I couldn't have a new birthday party hat today, because she spent too much money on this hat she wore to some dumb ole wedding a couple of days ago, and now I have to wear it so she can "get her money's worth out of it".

She thought she looked really pretty in it, until the press said it was ugly. I don't really think it is ugly, although it looks a little like the rose trellis in our backyard. So anyway, now it is my hat, and it pinches my head a little, so I'm gonna take it off soon and chew it up, like I do with all my hats. 'Cause you know how I feel about dogs and hats!

So, except for the hat, I have had the bestest birthday ever! Mom declared it a holiday, and said we would be staying home from work all day and lounging around, and that is what we did. And she opened all the windows, and I spent a long time barking at all the trespassers that walked by in front of our house. And I barked at a box, but in my defense, it was a really big box.

Oh, and I got a dumb ole rawhide chip.

The bestest part of my birthday was that all my facebook friends are celebrating with me!

See you later!

My weekend

Well, some good stuff happened and some bad stuff happened, and some weird stuff happened!

On Friday afternoon at work, Mom announced that she needed to vacuum, so she brought out the vacuum and plugged it in (Gumball is very scared of the vacuum!) and she started to vacuum, and then she stopped, and said that the vacuum wasn't sucking anything up.

She checked the vacuum cleaner bag, and it was empty, and she had put it in the right way.

Then she turned the vacuum cleaner upside down, and started inspecting the big spinning bar on the bottom of it, and she sat down with the upside-down vacuum and got some small scissors and started cutting, and kept talking about how there was some dog hair wrapped around the brush, but not much (HA!) and that normally that didn't affect the sucking, anyway.

Then she inspected all the hoses, and couldn't find anything blocking them.

So then she got really confused, and she started taking the vacuum apart, and on the inside of it she found a yellow sponge that looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants, and it was clean. So now she didn't know what to do. She finally decided to explore some more, because she said she was NOT going to buy a new vacuum, and I hope not, because this one has a wonderful "Bailey attachment" that she uses to vacuum me, and it feels Sooooooooooo good!

She lifted up the vacuum Sponge Bob Square Pants, and said "Whoa..."

She even made her friend come and look at it, and her friend said "Oh my god you got a hamster in your vacuum!" So that got me to come in for an even closer look.

But it wasn't a hamster!

This is what it looked like after Mom used tools to dig it out of the vacuum's tummy.

Mom says it was a dense blob of my hair and carpet fibers from the store. And some dirt. it was pretty big! This sort of proves my theory about toxic dog hair, huh? After Mom put the vacuum cleaner back together, it worked like brand new! But here's the deal: That is NOT my hair. It is Gumball's.

Here is my proof: 1) As you can seen in this picture, my hair is a lustrous red, while Gumball's hair is sandy brown, like the vacuum hamster's.
2) Golden Retreiever's do NOT shed. It is a well-known fact, right, guys?
3) Mom vacuums me almost every day at work, so there is no way any of my beautiful hair could get trapped in the vacuum's tummy (um, that made sense in my head)

On Sunday, Mom asked me if I wanted to go ride in the car, so I came running, and jumped in the car, and Mom did NOT go back inside to get Gumball. Just Mom and me went for a ride! It was so peaceful! We went to work, but just for a short visit. And then we had another peaceful ride home!

Later Sunday night Mom was working on the computer (duh), doing something she calls "syncing the iPad." I do not know anything about that, but I DO know that now she has TWO laptop computers, and that is no fair. But anyway, when she does this syncing thing, the small computer is hooked up to the other computer with a short cord she calls the "USB Cable". And this syncing stuff takes a really really long time, like 2 hours! It is ridiculous. But anyway, Mom started the syncing, and after about an hour she decided to go cook dinner, and so I ate my dinner, and then ran upstairs to drool on her while she ate hers. And I jumped on the bed and nudged my way over to her, and she started yelling and yelling, and I decided I better go hide in my bed, even though she was eating. It was a tough decision, but she seemed pretty mad. Mad enough that she had put her hot dinner over on the table, and grabbed the computers, and that's when she started telling me I had stepped on the USB cable and unplugged it from the 'puter, and now she had to start the sync all over. Oh noes. But she started it again, and then I snuck back over to the bed, and eventually she convinced me it was safe for me to jump back up there. And I got to lick her soup bowl when she was finished. Yay!

It's all about Gumball

Gumball Gumball Gumball. He is my nemesis, you know. He is Mr. Bossy Boots about everything, and tries to keep me away from my toys, and my Mom's bed, heck - he tries to keep me out of Mom's whole room! Mom and I still have lap time, and go on walkies, but that little yapper sure has changed things around here! Yesterday, Mom was giving me some rawhide chews, and Gumball wanted one, and since he doesn't have a bottom jaw or any teeth, I don't really see the point, but Mom naturally gave him some 'cause he asked for them. She put them in this bed, because that is the easies place for him to lick them. And that is really all he can do. He licks, and licks, and licks, and sometimes he tries to chew them, but then he goes back to the licking.

So here is where he has discovered them in his bed, and he picked the one with bacon wrapped around it

He couldn't lie in his bed while he licked them, so he planted himself on the lip of his bed, and anchored them with his paws and the bed pillow, and licked, and licked, and licked.

More licking. Every hour or so he would get up to go drink a lot of water.

Here Gumball tries a new stance on attacking the bones. This is what the two chews looked like after 5 hours of licking. Gumball was on another water break. I tried to steal these perfectly good bones, but Mom wouldn't let me. As you can see, Gumball also is a bed-scratcher. He scratched for-EVER before he lies down. Every time. His poor bed is a mess. Mom tried to get a new pillow for his bed, but they don't make them. The store told her she has to buy a whole new bed. Someone at the shop suggested Mom just buy some fleece and take off the ratty cover, and sew him a new one. Mom laughed, and laughed! She said she has 2 hundred-something half-finished jewelry projects, and more she wants to start, so why on earth would she decide to go fabric shopping, and then tried to make a cover for his cushion? She figures she'll eventually have to buy a whole new bed. But for now, this one still washes good in the washing machine, and dries in the dryer, and Gumball likes it, so he's stuck with it. Sorry to be such a bad blogger. There are just so many other things to do!!

My Mom is very confusing

Mom has started calling me by a new name: "Notchu Bailey".

She calls me "Notchu Bailey" 3 or 4 times a day, but other times she calls me my usual names, like Bailey, or Bay-Bay, or Baby, so that is why I'm confused. At first I thought she was saying "Nacho, Bailey", so naturally that got me up and running pretty fast. But she never had any Nachos for me, so I listened harder and realized it was "Notchu Bailey."

It is a pretty weird name, and it never means anything good for me. This is how it usually happens: Mom fixes a big delicious bowl of extra special dogfood, with real chicken, and cheese, and bacon, and other yummy stuff. Then she says "Come here, Baby, you're dinner is ready." So I come running over, and then she says "Notchu Bailey". And here is the not-so-good part: every time she calls me that, she gives the yummy food to Gumball.

I can't believe it has been 3 months since I blogged - I have been working really hard at Mom's store, and time just got away! As much as Facebook is a pain sometimes, it is so easy for me to pop in there and just say a few words, and I have to think real hard to do these blog posts!

I have lots of stuff to tell everybody, and new pictures, so I will try to do better. I love all you guys! Happy Holidays! Oh yeah: look at the new baby my friend Ruth got me! I shake it real hard and bop Mom and Gumball on the head. That is fun! Sometimes I knock Gumball off the bed when I do that, but he shouldn't be up there in my territory, anyway!

I hope Santa is good to all my bloggy friends!

Mom learned the secret of the moving bed

Mom finally saw how Gumball is moving his bed.


I already knew how he was doing it, 'cause I watched him do it all week in the mountains, but I couldn't tell Mom, 'cause it is fun to keep secrets from her, and see her be all confused. Plus, us dogs have to stick together!.

Sshhhh.... I have a secret!

GUMBALL IS A ZOMBIE!

Just look at those glowing green eyes!

I have watched enough spooky movies with my Mom to know a zombie when I see one, and Gumball is definitely a zombie!

His eyes glow like this all the time; Mom NEVER sees them, but I see them all the time, especially in the dark!

And he has magical powers, too - like, we went on vacation again last week to see our friends Kathy and John in the mountains, and believe it or not, Gumball came, too. And he got to sit in the front seat with Mom, and she rubbed his head and his back a lot all the way up there, and all the way home. I never get to sit in the front seat - Mom says it is because I am too big, but I think front-seat-sitting is a magical power, sort of. Of course, I don't really want him riding in the back seat with me, either.

Whenever we are going anywhere and we stop for gas, he hops out of his seat and over the divider thing and into the back seat with me.

But anyway, back to our vacation. BTW, Kathy and John still have Princess Nummy and Tai living with them, and they were not very excited to see me OR Gumball.

So Mom took Gumball's special bed (he needs it for his arthritis), but she said my special bed is too big to take, so I always have to sleep on either her bed (which isn't big enough for both of us!) or on the floor. But I also get to watch TV in the big recliner!

And Mom put Gumball's bed in our bedroom, and then put a nice comfy comforter, all folded up, down on the living room floor for when we were watching TV, or whatever, and he didn't want to be in the bedroom. Because evidently it hurts his bones to lie on the floor.

So everyday Mom and Kathy would drive off somewhere, and John would hang around for a little while, and then he would leave, and it would just be us 4 dogs alone in the house all day long. I always just chilled out on Mom's bed. But whenever John or Mom and Kathy came home, they would find Gumball's special bed out in the hallway. For a long time they tried to figure out how it kept getting moved, because Gumball doesn't have any jaw or any teeth, and he is pretty tiny, so they didn't think it was him. One time they tried to blame me, and said I was trying to move him out of Mom's bedroom 'cause I was jealous, but it wasn't me, either! And then Kathy told Mom that John was doing it so that Gumball wouldn't be lonely in the bedroom (but I was there - how could he be lonely?) So everyone was very confused, until the day after we got back to our own house.

Mom had put Gumball's bed back in its usual spot as soon as we got home, but she had to go to the doctor the next day, so she left us 2 dogs home alone. And when she got back, she found Gumball's bed out in the hallway at the top of the stairs, and she realized that whenever she leaves him at home, he must be somehow (magically, I tell you!) dragging his bed trying to go in the car with her, but it is a big bed for him to drag, so he finally gives up and just sleeps in it wherever he dragged it to.

So this morning, Mom and I went for a long walkie because it has started to be a little cooler here in the morning, and to stop the bed-dragging, Mom took Gumball's bed downstairs and left it by the door. But when we got home from our walk, Gumball wasn't in his bed, or any of his usual downstairs spots (like my downstairs bed, or on the sofa, or on a chair), so she went looking for him, and found him lying on the floor where his special bed usually is. So now Mom says she gives up, and he can move his bed wherever he wants. But she still wants to see how he is doing it. But of course, he doesn't do it when Mom is around. Zombies are sneaky like that.

Mom says she wants to get a Gumball cam.

But back to our vacation - we both had a really good time in the mountains! I watched a lot of TV in the big recliner, and Mom took me for lots of walkies in the cool mountain weather. And Gumball even liked walking around Kathy and John's yard. He is getting stronger and stronger everyday, and one day he even started running down their driveway (he was just trying to find a good spot for pooping) and you should have seen Mom chasing him! There's no cars up there, so she wasn't making him wear his leash, because he is usually a slow walker. HA! He showed her!

Here is Gumball licking one of those delicious cheddar cheese rawhide chews in his bed on vacation. He licks, and licks, and licks.... and mostly I steal them eventually. They leave stinky stains on his bed, too, so Mom says no more chews in the bed!

But Gumball doesn't seem to like his chews very much anymore, and Mom just bought 1000 of them (because SuperPetz here was going out of business, and had them on sale!) and Mom says I can have them now! Yay!

This is my vacation pout - I am on Mom's vacation bed, with my new elephant, but pouting because Gumball has a special bed, and a cheddar chew, and I know Mom is getting ready to leave!

I am glad to be back home, and when Mom and I went on our walkie this morning lots of people came out of there houses to speak to me. At the end of the cul-de-sac where we walk I met a nice little boy named Ben, and his Dad, and they both gave me pats and rubs. And then we walked around the cul-de-sac, and 2 doors across from Ben's house there was a man and a lady with a gigantic golden retriever, who was straining at his leash trying to meet me (I was way ahead of Mom, as usual). The lady said they see us walking a lot, and wanted their Golden to meet me (and they were complimentary about the way I carry my own leash - they said their Golden doesn't do that). Their Golden was 7 years old, and he was a boy dog like me, and the same color as me, but he was huge! And very very active! But he was a nice dog.

Mom and I kept walking, and she decided to do a 2nd lap around the cul-de-sac, and when we got back to the house where that Golden Retriever had been, the man was outside the house again, this time with a different Golden Retriever, who wasn't on a leash, and she came running straight at me! I dropped my leash so we could sniff each other, and her Dad came over and told my Mom that her name was Edisto. That is the name of a beach Mom and I went to one time! And even Edisto was much bigger than I am, so Mom thinks now that I must have been the runt of my litter, whatever that means.

Mom took me and Gumball to the doctor last Monday (Gumball had to get bloodwork). We both got our nails cut, and we both got weighed. I had lost another pound, and Gumball had lot 6 ounces. Mom was very upset about both of us losing weight. She told the doctor that Gumball eats like a pig, and the vet said not to worry - that he will be OK. Then Mom asked about me, because the doctor had told Mom the last time I had MY appointment that I needed to gain a few pounds, and Mom has been giving me extra food, so Mom asked if I should get even more food! I was so excited, but the vet said NO. Booooooooo! The vet said she has decided that I am just destined to be a lean, mean Golden Retriever (I am NOT mean), and to just leave my meals the way they are. Boooo.

I've Been on 'Strictshuns

"'Strictshuns" is what happens when Mom gets strict with me. She has never done this before, so I knew she meant business!

"'Stictshuns" means that my Mom said I couldn't use the computer, so I couldn't update my blog and talk to all my friends, and I have missed you! And I couldn't use dumb ole FaceBook, but that was OK, because FaceBook still confuses me and makes my head hurt sometimes.

Mom said I had to be on 'strictshuns until I got an attitude adjustment about Gumball. She said I cannot exagerrate about him anymore, or call him "Dumball", or mean kind of stuff like that. And that I have to try to be less jealous. She said I am his big brother now, and I have to set a good example.

Then she told me I was really the "little brother" because he is much older than I am, but since he is so tiny, and I was here first, I get to be the big brother.

I had a lot of problems at first with this attitude thing. Like, he gets to eat 6 or 7 times a day! (I was gonna say he gets to eat a hundred times a day, but that is the kind of exaggerating I can't be doing anymore).

And he eats special food! It smells so good, and he gets to have real gravy on it (not the gravy that comes out of the tap on Mom's sink, like I get). And at first, Mom would have to tie me up with my leash, or shut me up in the bedroom or bathroom, so that I wouldn't eat his food. I never tried to eat it while HE was eating it, but it takes him an hour to eat (that is NOT an exaggeration!) and he has this habit of eating for 10 minutes or so, and then walking a lap around the downstairs, and going back to his bowl and eating some more - and he does this all the time. I figured that once he walked away that bowl of food is fair game, and I should get to clean up what was left, but Mom said "No", 'cause he needs his food 'cause he is so skinny, and after a few days of being tied on my leash or shut up in the bathroom, I learned real quick that I can only clean his bowl when Mom tells me it is OK. So I sit a few feet away, and wait for those magic words.

But I still don't understand why he gets to eat so much - Mom says my doctor told her he needs to gain 4 pounds - but she told my Mom I could stand to gain 5 pounds, and Mom only added a midnight snack for me!


And I'm not supposed to step on him anymore - so I always look where I am barreling now, and try very hard to be careful where I put my feet, 'cause he always seems to be right up under me!



Mom got me a new elephant Baby to reward me for being a good big brother.












And here's something else I don't understand - Gumball doesn't like Babies! Or Squeaky toys!

I'm not complaining - I am happy that he doesn't steal my toys like Nummy does!








But the little chowhound steals my bones!!

Oh Noes!!

Mom started giving me extra bones, and I was enjoying one on the bed, and Gumball came over and just put his mouth right on it, so I moved back, and he proceeded to drag it off to his bed.

He doesn't even know how to carry a bone correctly, and all he does is lick lick lick them - Mom says it is because he doesn't have any teeth.





This is me pouting right after he stole this delicious bone. He somehow gets one end of my bones in his mouth, and then drags them backward, using the floor or the bed as his bottom jaw ('cause he doesn't have a bottom jaw either) and the next thing you know, they are in his bed.












Here is Gumball playing with my stolen cheesebone, and you can see the other special bone tucked in his bed.

He even buries them under the soft mattress in his bed! But I know all about his hiding places, and when he is not in his bed, I go over to it and steal my bones back. I am still getting in a little bit of trouble for this. Mom says she will just get me a new bone every time he steals mine, but it's the principle, you know?





He started stealing my bones the day before Mom took him to see my doctor, and left me at home! I knew she had been there, because she smelled like my doctor's office when she got home! Mom says the doctor told her that Gumball remembers chewing bones when he was younger, and that it was perfectly OK for him to have bones, and they DO seem to make him happy, so I let him keep stealing them. But I still steal them back sometimes!




Mom sometimes puts his bed on top of her bed, and he used to sleep up there with her, but she stopped doing that a couple of days ago, because when he gets thirsty or want to go outside, he would just leap over the side of the bed and onto the floor, and Mom was afraid he was going to get hurt.

He has special stairs that he can use to get up and down from Mom's bed, and he is getting better about using the stairs instead of jumping.

You see how he has his own soft special blue bed? He has one at Mom's store, too. At home, he has a bad habit of sneaking into my special bed, instead of his. But at the store, he has never even tried to get in my bed. Mom says that is because it is too far away from my Mom - and I think that sounds about right, because he follows her everywhere!

So this is my big pouty face after my bones got stolen. Even my Babies couldn't cheer me up.

But I am doing much better, and Mom keeps telling me I am the bestest dog, and she gives me lots of kisses and hugs, but things are definitely different. Like we hardly ever play soccer anymore.

And we don't go on walkies anymore, but Mom says that is because it is so hot. I'm not sure about that. At least I know Gumball can't go on walks with us, because most of the time he walks super-slow, and then gets tired, and Mom carries him. And when she carries him, she rubs his back, and kisses his head, and talks to him in his ears, and most of the time I just run ahead of them so I don't have to watch all that. And that is just for our short potty trips at home or at work - imagine what it would be like if it was one of our long walkies!

I'm not so sure about this big brother stuff, but I am trying very hard to be a good big brother, 'cause it makes my Mom happy, and she tells me how good I am, and also because I did not like 'strictshuns!