I'll try anything, once...

I don't know about you guys, but I enjoy eating. Good grief - just look at my avatar!

Basically, almost anything will do - I'm not real picky, as you know.

Although, there are a few things that I just won't eat - like plain ole dry lettuce. Or those bacon thingies.


Mom had a banana at the store the other day.


Naturally, I acted like banana was my favoritist food EVER!


And I told Mom I needed some banana, NOW!


But Mom was being all piggy about her banana, and wouldn't give me a single bite.


So then I told her that banana PEEL was my favoritist food EVER in the whole world, and I asked her very politely (I even stood up on my back legs) for the banana peel.


Mom looked at me like I was crazy, but she handed me the peel.

I have never even smelled one before - but since I had put on such a big show about getting this peel, I knew I couldn't spit it out, so I had to act like it was the best treat EVER!








But you know what - banana peels are not good dog treats.

So I had to carry the peel around, and whenever Mom tried to get it away from me, I ducked my head the other way, and acted like I had some great treasure.

Mom finally left me alone, and I carried the peel a little while longer so she would know I thought it was special, but then, when she wasn't looking, I dropped it in the middle of the floor in the store.


By then, Mom had forgotten about it - and she didn't remember it until a customer came in and saw the peel on the floor. Oooops.


Mom says that was my last banana peel. That's OK - I will just go find my friend Franklin and get some REAL treats!

My Weekend

First of all, Mom did NOT let me use the computer last night, like she promised.

She told me that she was watching "Dancing With the Stars", whatever that is, and that my blogging was not going to get in between her and Maks.

So she watched TV, and I sat in her lap, but then she suddenly got all mad about something, and turned off the TV, and said "that SUCKS!", and told me no more TV, and no computer. So she read a book.

Then she told me after a few minutes that Maks had gotten robbed! Robbing is BAD! I feel very sorry for Maks, whoever he is - Mommy was very mad about his robbery.

OK - on to my story.

My Mom has not been feeling good for a long time, but I have been taking very good care of her. Really!

She blabs and blabs about her problems over here.

Well, evidently, I didn't take good enough care of her, because last Thursday, we were at the shop, and the door opened, and in came my good friend John. John is one of our friends that we visit in the mountains a lot, and he pats me and rubs me and plays foot-ball with me (that means he and I wrestle my toy balls with his feet when he is sitting in his recliner! It is a fun game!!)



But here is the problem:

John brought my arch-nemesis, Nummy, with him!



Look at her prancing around my store like she owns the place!







She just took over!

I tried to mind my own business, but she was everywhere!













Look at her licking her lips - just thinking of ways to pester me!

I bet you think she looks all innocent and sweet, huh?

Well, she isn't.

She steals my toys, and I share my food with her all the time, but if I try to take a bite of HER food, she turns into a snarling Tasmanian devil.

Seriously- she chases me all over my own house, trying to protect her precious food!

Look at Nummy, doing MY job, watching for customers and delivery men.

And this is an absolutely true story:

One night, we went to Chic-Fil-A after work. John was driving Mom's car, and he was holding Princess Nummy. I was in the back seat, as usual. Mom was on the passenger side.

When we got to the window, Mom reminded John that he had to roll down my window so I could talk to the peoples at the drive-in window, so John rolled it down.

But then, he asked the peoples at the drive-in window if they had any treats for cute dogs, and 3 pretty girls all stuck their heads out the window, ooh-ing and aah-ing over that devil-dog Nummy, and saying how cute she is, and then apologizing for not having any treats for her.

What am I? Chopped Liver?

So my Mom leaned over and told them they had hurt my feelings, and one of them said, "Well, he has cute eyes".

Hmmmph. Cute eyes.

John and Nummy went home yesterday. I miss John.

So Here's the Deal

Remember my awesome idea to stop eating dogfood so I could spend all day eating delicious treats from the deli near my Mom's store?


And remember how that idea kinda backfired, 'cause my Mom told the deli man that I could not have any more deli treats?


Well, Mom and Franklin (that's the nice man that owns the deli) worked out a deal, where if I eat my breakfast, I can have a little bit of treats from Franklin.


If you remember, the deli is right on the way to my potty spot. As a matter of fact, it is right next to my potty spot.

And it is a long way from Mom's shop - this photo shows a picture taken about about 3 shops away from the deli, and about 4 or 5 shops past my Mom's shop. I am standing in front of the deli. See all that pine straw just past me? There is a long stretch of pine straw and bushes going alongside the deli there - and that is a great private spot for all my doggy business!

When I tell my Mom that I need to go out, I always mean it ('cause I would never tell a lie!), but I have now started telling her I need to go out for different reasons! Only Mom doesn't speak Golden Retriever so good, 'cause she always thinks I am telling her it is potty time, and she can't understand how I could possibly need to go potty every 20 minutes!



So Mom gets my leash, and her sunglasses, and her silly-looking dumb old hat, and her keys, and opens the door. I scoot out and start trotting toward the potty spot while she is locking the store door, and she finally starts following me, and most of the time I just stop in front of the deli, and stand there.







And stand there.








And stand there.


See, if Mom doesn't have any customers at the time, and she sees that I was only "mooching for meat" as she calls it, she stops at "Montego Bay", which is a really nice store with comfy chairs outside, and pretty plants outside, and really really nice peoples there, and she sits down and starts running her mouth with all the nice peoples, and keeps one eye on me, and one eye on her store, in case a customer comes.




Every once in a while I check to make sure Mom is OK, but mostly I just stare inside the deli windows, sending thought-rays at Franklin.





More thought-rays.


Sometimes, my thought-rays are so powerful that cars pull up to the deli, and people open the door and go inside, and I scoot right on in behind them!

That makes Mom jump up out of her Montego Bay chair and run run run to the deli and haul my hienie right out of there. You guys should see my Mom run. In her dumb old floppy hat. She is a hoot!


Naturally, my super-powerful thought-rays ultimately work (they never fail!), and Franklin opens the door, and comes out to greet and treat me!









At first, I am so excited to see the treat Franklin that I jump up and dance!











But I quickly remember my manners, and Franklin gives me something yummy!

And he gives me lots of pats and rubs, too!




Every day Franklin asks my Mom if I ate my breakfast, and makes sure she says yes before he gives me any treats, so now I am a good breakfast eater again.

Except that now, I have been refusing to eat my breakfast in the kitchen, so Mom is taking it out on the deck, and I am eating al fresco. I love being outside!


And here's a little something for everyone who has read this really long story:
My Mom is holding a secret sale in her Etsy shop just for all my bloggy friends - if you visit her shop and see something you love, she will give you 10% off the regular price. All you have to do is, when you are checking out, look for the box that says "message to seller", and just type "Bailey is my friend" in the box. [You'll have to pay the regular price when you check out, but Mom will refund 10% of the item price (not counting the postage) back into your PayPal account]. But hurry - Mom says this sale ends on June 1!

Guess Who??!

Did you guess? It's ME!!!!!

I'm back! Sorry to be gone for so long.

Yesterday was my birthday (now I am 11!) Mom told me that I have not been blogging very much, and I have a ton of stuff to tell you!

Remember when I told you that Mom takes me to work with her?


Well, I stay very, very busy these days!


Mom's store is in a pretty business center, with about 7 big, long buildings full of stores and all kinds of businesses (like restaurants!).


Every morning when we get to work (except some mornings when Mom oversleeps) we walk all around the shopping complex TWO times, so that everyone can know that we are at work now! (Mom says we are walking for exercise. She says potato, I say potatah. Whatever). Naturally, I carry my own leash, 'cause Mom walks too slow. And I get very very far ahead of her, but if it is time to turn a corner, I stop and wait for her, because I like to keep one eye on Mom!






We have been having some really nice weather, so at the time of the morning that we are walking, lots of stores have their doors propped open so that I can walk in and make sure everything is safe, and that everyone know I am there! (Mom says the doors are open to get fresh air. Whatever.) All I know is, everyone is always glad to see me, and gives me lots of pats and rubs! Whenever I see an open door, I start to run, and scoot inside the open door! I have to run, because sometimes the open door leads into a restaurant, and for some reason, Mom does not want me to go in restaurants, and she starts to run really fast to try to block me from getting in those doors. Seeing my Mom run is funny!!


Everyone at the shopping center likes to see me walking, and they think it is funny that I carry my own leash. Lots of people take pictures of me, and one lady always comes out to greet me, and one day she took my picture, and the next day she told my Mom that now I am on Facebook. I do not know what that means.


After our walk, we open up the store, and then my job is to greet all the customers! That is a lot of fun, and more pats and rubs for me! And I get a lot of treats, too, 'cause Mom keeps a big jar of treats on the table for customers to give me!


This is me saying goodbye to a really nice lady that was buying beads at the store at Christmas time.




I also keep an eye out for delivery trucks, and let Mom know when more beads are coming to the shop!


When things are really quiet in the store, with no customers, and no deliveries, and Mom is working with her stupid beads instead of playing with me, I lie down beside her with my Baby.





Remember how sad it was when my poor piggy Baby fell apart suddenly?




Well, Mom got me a new piggy baby to love at her store, and I have started lying down with piggy baby covering my head. Mom always goes "Awww" when I do this. She doesn't know why I do it at the store, but I don't cover my head with my babies at home.







And about a month ago, when Mom and I were doing our walkies, Mom noticed that I was leaving footprints all over the sidewalks! Lots of other peoples noticed, too, and would tell my Mom that they could tell I had been there, 'cause they saw my footprints! But no peoples were leaving footprints -- only me!


Wanna know why? It's 'cause of pollen! We had inches and inches of pollen covering the ground. Our nice green sidewalks were not green anymore - they were bright yellow. And every time I put my feet down, a big yellow cloud puffed up! We finally got some rain, and all the pollen is gone now.


There is a German deli just a few doors down from my Mom's store, and it is on the way to the place where I go potty. There is a really nice strip of grass with a lot of bushes and stuff at the end of our building, and it is perfect for me. Every time it is time for me to go potty, I walk really really fast towards the potty place - way faster than Mom (duh! She is slow). And Mom thinks I am running to go potty, but actually I am just going to the deli - I stand outside its door, holding me leash, and lots of time (if they don't have customers) they see me, and come outside with treats! Yum!! And when customers come out of the deli with bags of goodies, I follow them to their cars, sniffing their bags. Mom hates when I do this.


Last week I started refusing to eat the nice breakfast that Mom fixes me every morning before go to work. Mom thinks I was doing this so I would have more room for deli treats! She told the nice deli man to stop giving me treats.... that was mean. Now I have to eat dogfood again.

Something weird is happening around here again...

Mom got home late from work, and she had a new dog bed for me (I LOVE my old dog bed, so this better not be some kind of trick.) And she had a bag of dog toys, and dog treats, and she carried them back out to the car.

Then she rushed me upstairs and into her bathroom, and made me take shower with her. Well, mostly it was me getting the shower - she used some girly-smelling shampoo, and then some girly-smelling conditioner, and then she tried to blow me dry (which I normally enjoy as a game) - but this was different, and after one whole hour she gave up. She said that now she knows while Phil (my Professional Bather) ties me to the wall when he blows me dry. And why Phil's blow dryer is 10 times more powerful than hers.

Then I wanted to run outside and roll around in the really wet dirt and mud in the backyard, and she said NO.

So I am rolling on her clean comforter, and getting it good and smelly.

She says the reason for all of this will become clear tomorrow.

She is very busy watching So You Think You Can Dance, so now I am going to go around and get reacquainted with some of my old buds!

I'll try to get back to you tomorrow with whatever the big news is.

YaWN

I went Ptui!!

Most of you know by now that I am somewhat of a canine-oisseur when it comes to snacks. I love me some good treats!


And one of my favoritist treats is Snausages - I love 'em!

Mom doesn't buy them very often, but she picked some up at the store last week, and when she opened them, she was really surprised to find bacon-looking stuff in there, instead of those cute, juicy, delicious snausages that I love so much. But she thought the Snausage people had just goofed up, and she kept giving me one of the bacon thingies every day - and I ate them, but I have to be honest with you --- they're TERRIBLE!! They taste like 2-year old shoe leather, and they are really hard to chew. I chew, and chew, and chew, and don't get very far with them. But hey, it's a treat - better than dogfood!



But on Saturday, Mom reached in the bag, and grabbed a bacon chew, and gave it to me, and while I was chewing, and chewing, and chewing, something deep inside the bag caught Mom's eye - it was yellow, and she reached through all the bacon, and pulled out a little chewy fried egg!

That's when Mom read the bag, and saw that these were Snausage Breakfast Bites! She held on to the fried egg, waiting for me to finish the bacon, but I just chewed, and chewed, and I kept seeing and smelling that egg, so I suddenly went "ptui!" and spit that dumb old bacon chew all the way across the kitchen, and jumped up and grabbed the egg out of Mom's hand. I sort of surprised Mom - the only other time I ever ptui-ed anything, it was a plain old dry piece of lettuce - yuck!

So now, I won't even put those silly bacon chews in my mouth - I hold out for those delicious eggie chews!

Yea!

Yea! Check out my poll!

"The whole thing" is winning! I just know everything will work out in my favor this time!

Double Yea!



We had company last weekend!

My friend Kathy came to visit me - remember? I went to visit her last year - and now she came to my house! This is a picture of her cooking me a special treat when we were at her house.

She is really nice, and played with me, especially early in the morning when my Mom was still snoozing - Kathy sat out in the backyard with me, like a proper visitor, and talked to me and patted me.

And Kathy brought a really nice lady named Mary with her, and Mary was my favorite, because she gave me treats. All the time! Really delicious treats, like shrimp, and chicken, and cake!

And I get to go visit them really soon - I can't wait!

About 2 weeks ago, after I had been out in the backyard for a really really long time, I came inside, and started to throw up.

I couldn't stop! It was all brown and gross, and I couldn't stop, and bad brown stains got all over Mom's carpet and her bed. She didn't yell at me, because she knew I was really sick. But she thought I had been eating poop (again), so she gave me her dumb lecture about how eating poop always makes me sick - I just ignored her, and kept throwing up for a really long time.

Mom had to get a special carpet cleaner to get the brown stuff out of the carpet.

Then, about 3 days later, I started doing my "New Bone Dance" on Mom's bed, while she was working on the computer. My New Bone Dance is a very special dance that I do whenever Mom gets me a new bone - I hop around, and bark a really shrill high bark, and tap my front foot on the new bone so that it hops around on the bed and I can chase it. It's fun!

Except that Mom was very suspicious, because she hadn't bought me any new bones....

But I am a very resourceful dog - see...

I had found this bone in my very own backyard:

Mom jumped up and snatched it away from me, and threw it away in the outside trash so I couldn't get it.

But HaHa! There's a whole bunch more where that came from!

Mom is starting to suspect that this bone is somehow related to all that throwing up I did - she thinks I was eating some dead animal - but I'll never tell!

She thinks it's a rib bone, and she seems to think it's a pretty big one, for me anyway -

Now I know to chew them when she isn't watching. Moms are weird sometimes.

New poll!

I snuck on the computer and made a new poll, so vote if you get a chance! Thanks!

My Mom hasn't been home much lately, because our good friend is sick in the hospital, and Mom goes there before and after work everyday. I hope she gets better soon - she is my bestest friend, and I visit her at her house a lot. She has 2 dogs, but I just jump on the sofa to get away from them - they are yappy and pesty. I don't mean that is their names - their names are Roscoe and Little Bit - but they bug me.

My friend Judy is really nice, and gives me lots of pats and rubs, and lots of treats. She doesn't care if I get all over her furniture, because she is dog people! She comes to my house to see me, too, and even babysits me sometimes when Mom goes out of town.

Get well, Judy!

We have another friend coming to visit us next weekend. She is teaching a class at my Mom's store, and will be here for a few days - she is dog people, too, so I can't wait!

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone, and once again those people next door made all those dreadful bang-bang noises that are so scary!

I always have to find somewhere safe to hide, but where I can still keep an eye on my Mom.

I like her closet the best.


I know the noises scare my Mom, too, because she keeps calling and calling me to come get in the bed with her, but I just can't, because it is too close to the noises!

And I can't go outside, either - it is way scarier than thunder and lightning.

I hope all of you don't have bad neighbors, and had a good New Year!

Mom brought a special treat home for me yesterday, because I am always so good!

She likes to get salads from Zaxby's, but she doesn't like the bread, so she saves it for me.

This time, it had salad juice on it, so it was extra delicious!

When I saw what Mom had in her hands, and smelled it, I dropped my babies (I was carrying 2 babies!) really fast and got busy!

I just wish Mom would bring me a whole salad some time, 'cause I am always really good, and I'm pretty sure salads are good for me.

See you later!