Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Name is Bailey, and I am a Poopaholic

Mom told me that I absolutely, positively, cannot tell this story.

So here goes.


I am mostly a good dog, but sometimes dogs have certain urges ... and that is why there is a well known saying: "A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do."


And, well, I do doo-doo.


Like many poopaholics, I started with that gateway doo-doo: rabbit poop.
We have lots of rabbits in our yard, and they leave lots of poop, and it is yummy.
Except for this bunny - he lives next to our deck, and I've never seen him move. He doesn't ever make poop, and he doesn't even smell like a bunny.

But I digress.

We have a really really big back yard, and lots of woods in our yard, and I like to roam around in the woods a lot. And lots of times that is where I poop. But if I don't poop in the woods, I poop in one of Mom's flower beds.
That is very important to this story.

See, a long, long time ago, before I was even born, Mom had another beautiful Golden, and he was very persnickety, and would only poop in the freshly mown grass. So Mom had to go out everyday and scoop up his poop and throw it in the bushes, so that both of them wouldn't step in it.

So when I came along, and never pooped in the grass, she was very excited - 'cause she didn't ever have to scoop poop anymore!

And then one day, I ran out of bunny poop, and discovered some of my old poop in a flower bed, and I ate it.
And then I couldn't stop - I think of it as recycling.
Mom was horrified, and decided I might have a dietary deficiency, or something, so she took me to the vet, and asked the vet what she should do about a poop-eating dog.

And the vet said: "Well, you could always just scoop up his poop.... But there is nothing wrong with Bailey."
Well, duh.

Mom was really mad at the vet for this advice. She tried putting a muzzle on me when I went out in the yard, but I could squeeze my tongue out through the tiny opening in the muzzle, and still eat poop.

So Mom has given up on my "horrible addiction" as she calls it.

20 comments:

art4milkbones said...

Oh' Bailey ..

That is kinda gross.
We ate horse poo once & our mom about died.. we didnt even stop & smell it.. we just ate it!

EnjoY your poo! :)

wags n woofs
(GR's) Morgan & Mully

Bailey said...

Yeah, Mom says I'm gross, too.

I ate horse poop once (OK, twice) when we went to the beach. It made me throw up. Both times.

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Oh, bunny poop, who could resist! We must confess, we are poop-a-holics, too. When we go for walkies our momma has to have eagle eyes to make sure we don't snack when we is strollin' around town. That is pretty exotic. But when we are home all we got is what we have in our own backyard so we have to eat domestic. But, the bestest poop of ALL is kitty poop. Ohmygosh, that is remarkable. But now momma made sure we can't get that anymore, either...sigh.

Now, we must stand up and say: "Hello, our names are Scout and Freyja and we are poop-a-holics."

Come on over today and help us get the word out to the Eagles about Mr. Vick! We has a furry im-paw-tant bloggy post taday!

Bailey said...

Hmmm - kitty poop. Never tried it.

I would like to eat a whole kitty, though.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Bailey!
I have never done that! Maybe I can give it a try... of course if my mom is not watching me!
When I go out for walkies, I find lots of poop on the streets and she is always pulling me away from it!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Tucker, Daisy and Leo said...

Tucked is a member of your little club. Mommy has given up on him. Likes horse poop too, but leaves coyote poop alone.

Tucker and Daisy

Sunny said...

Hi Bailey,
Maybe you should go to Poopaholics Anonymous, they may have a 12 don't step in it program.
I tried to eat seagull poop once but my Mom practically gave me whiplash yanking me away!
Good luck!
Luv, Lucy

MAX said...

O Bailey...that is yucky! We know you are just trying to help mom out, but if you leave it there then it might 'train' her?! What do you think?
We don't eat our own poop here...we think Mom would have a heart attack! BUT, if anything else arrives in our garden, we are sure to investigate.
Eish...can't believe you!!
Lots of licks and have a happy week.
MAXDOG IN SOUTH AFRICA

1000 Goldens said...

Bailey, I too, am a poopaholic! Maybe we can do a 12 step program together? I'm glad I'm not alone and I appreciate your honesty :o)

Bailey said...

oh Sunny - last night I went outside for just 1 minute before bedtime, and I came back inside and Mom tried to give me my nighttime treat, and I didn't want it. She knew something was strange.

I raced upstairs with my cow baby, and jumped on her bed.

She tried to give me my treat again, and I didn't want it. Then she went to brush her teeth, and I threw up poop all over her bed.

Now she says forget 12 steps, I need a 1 step program.

I think she is mad.

Paco,Milo, Maya and mommy Simona said...

Ohhhhhh Bailey....
we appreciate your honesty!!!!
Milo and Maya never done that...
But..........YES!!!!
I must admitt that!!!!
When I was yourn I ate poop!!!
Not mine.....I don't know who were the poop...but I tried!!!!!
OOOOOpppppsssss.....
And for some time I done that....
But now (for the happyness of my mommy) I stopped to do that!!!!
But sure you're not alone!!!!
Thare are tons of us in your poop club!!!!!
;-)))))))))))))
And we love you same a lot!!!!!!
Have a wonderful monday!!!
Sweet kisses and licks

Bailey said...

I thought maybe nobody would accept my kisses and licks, because of my terrible habit, but now I see there are many more like me.

Plus, my Mom still lets me kiss her all the time - I guess that is unconditional love!

or else, enabling.

I'm not sure, and I don't care!

Bailey said...

Now Mom says I should change the name of my blog to:
"Confessions of a poopaholic"

GoldenSamantha said...

Hi Bailey -this is crazy, but I've been a follower for a long time, but your blog only shows up in my reader, which I almost never use. Anyway, I'll watch for you more closely now. Well, count me in as a bona fide member of your club. The only thing my ma does is pick up the poo everytime I go out. We don't have rabbits in the yard, but on trails, I'll take poo of anything - horses, deer, other doggies, kitty roca is a fave, and I gross my ma out. She's done all she can, but I'm fast. Well... see you very soon again.
Hugs xo
Sammie

Thor said...

Hi Bailey!
Seems I missed something very interesting. It tastes good?
I never tried that!
Good lucky in your 12 or 1 step program!
Have a fun weekend, buddy!

xoxo
Thor

Harry said...

Oh Bailey I totally understand why you like eating poop. I think it is one of the most delicious things a dog can eat. My three favorites are goose, horse and rabbit poo especially if I can find it fresh and warm. I've never tried my own but I think if I did Dena would be horrified!

Regards from Boston,
Harry

T.Beverage said...

My name is Rush, a golden retriever. And I was named after a power ranger's dog but almost everyone thinks I was named after that talk show host who will also eat just about anything.

My gateway poop was found out on my mom's balcony outside the kitties' bedroom. It was even stored in a box for me and rolled in something crunchy, truly exotic. Despite my mom's objections, I never looked back.

Bailey said...

Wow, T. Bev - You have an indoor exotic poop dispenser! An endless supply! I am jealous....

Thanks for visiting me!

ckelley01 said...

Hi, Bailey! My name is Holly and I'm from Portland, OR. I think you are very nice looking and I am happy to follow you! Kitty poop is my downfall and the kitties across the street always come over and leave it right in the garden by our front door! They know I get in trouble for eating it! Kitties can be mean, doncha think? Mommy doesn't like me to kiss her after I've eaten it, but I still try 'cause I love her!

Goldens are Groovy!
Holly

Bailey said...

Holly - it is so nice to meet you - I think some kitties are evil, too! But I have never tasted kitty poop.

I know horse poop makes me throw up, but it is so yummy, that it is worth it!

My mom doesn't worry too much about my kisses, so that is good.

Glad to meet you! If you have a blog, I will come find you!