Sunday, August 15, 2010

I've Been on 'Strictshuns

"'Strictshuns" is what happens when Mom gets strict with me. She has never done this before, so I knew she meant business!

"'Stictshuns" means that my Mom said I couldn't use the computer, so I couldn't update my blog and talk to all my friends, and I have missed you! And I couldn't use dumb ole FaceBook, but that was OK, because FaceBook still confuses me and makes my head hurt sometimes.

Mom said I had to be on 'strictshuns until I got an attitude adjustment about Gumball. She said I cannot exagerrate about him anymore, or call him "Dumball", or mean kind of stuff like that. And that I have to try to be less jealous. She said I am his big brother now, and I have to set a good example.

Then she told me I was really the "little brother" because he is much older than I am, but since he is so tiny, and I was here first, I get to be the big brother.

I had a lot of problems at first with this attitude thing. Like, he gets to eat 6 or 7 times a day! (I was gonna say he gets to eat a hundred times a day, but that is the kind of exaggerating I can't be doing anymore).

And he eats special food! It smells so good, and he gets to have real gravy on it (not the gravy that comes out of the tap on Mom's sink, like I get). And at first, Mom would have to tie me up with my leash, or shut me up in the bedroom or bathroom, so that I wouldn't eat his food. I never tried to eat it while HE was eating it, but it takes him an hour to eat (that is NOT an exaggeration!) and he has this habit of eating for 10 minutes or so, and then walking a lap around the downstairs, and going back to his bowl and eating some more - and he does this all the time. I figured that once he walked away that bowl of food is fair game, and I should get to clean up what was left, but Mom said "No", 'cause he needs his food 'cause he is so skinny, and after a few days of being tied on my leash or shut up in the bathroom, I learned real quick that I can only clean his bowl when Mom tells me it is OK. So I sit a few feet away, and wait for those magic words.

But I still don't understand why he gets to eat so much - Mom says my doctor told her he needs to gain 4 pounds - but she told my Mom I could stand to gain 5 pounds, and Mom only added a midnight snack for me!

And I'm not supposed to step on him anymore - so I always look where I am barreling now, and try very hard to be careful where I put my feet, 'cause he always seems to be right up under me!

Mom got me a new elephant Baby to reward me for being a good big brother.

And here's something else I don't understand - Gumball doesn't like Babies! Or Squeaky toys!

I'm not complaining - I am happy that he doesn't steal my toys like Nummy does!

But the little chowhound steals my bones!!

Oh Noes!!

Mom started giving me extra bones, and I was enjoying one on the bed, and Gumball came over and just put his mouth right on it, so I moved back, and he proceeded to drag it off to his bed.

He doesn't even know how to carry a bone correctly, and all he does is lick lick lick them - Mom says it is because he doesn't have any teeth.

This is me pouting right after he stole this delicious bone. He somehow gets one end of my bones in his mouth, and then drags them backward, using the floor or the bed as his bottom jaw ('cause he doesn't have a bottom jaw either) and the next thing you know, they are in his bed.

Here is Gumball playing with my stolen cheesebone, and you can see the other special bone tucked in his bed.

He even buries them under the soft mattress in his bed! But I know all about his hiding places, and when he is not in his bed, I go over to it and steal my bones back. I am still getting in a little bit of trouble for this. Mom says she will just get me a new bone every time he steals mine, but it's the principle, you know?

He started stealing my bones the day before Mom took him to see my doctor, and left me at home! I knew she had been there, because she smelled like my doctor's office when she got home! Mom says the doctor told her that Gumball remembers chewing bones when he was younger, and that it was perfectly OK for him to have bones, and they DO seem to make him happy, so I let him keep stealing them. But I still steal them back sometimes!

Mom sometimes puts his bed on top of her bed, and he used to sleep up there with her, but she stopped doing that a couple of days ago, because when he gets thirsty or want to go outside, he would just leap over the side of the bed and onto the floor, and Mom was afraid he was going to get hurt.

He has special stairs that he can use to get up and down from Mom's bed, and he is getting better about using the stairs instead of jumping.

You see how he has his own soft special blue bed? He has one at Mom's store, too. At home, he has a bad habit of sneaking into my special bed, instead of his. But at the store, he has never even tried to get in my bed. Mom says that is because it is too far away from my Mom - and I think that sounds about right, because he follows her everywhere!

So this is my big pouty face after my bones got stolen. Even my Babies couldn't cheer me up.

But I am doing much better, and Mom keeps telling me I am the bestest dog, and she gives me lots of kisses and hugs, but things are definitely different. Like we hardly ever play soccer anymore.

And we don't go on walkies anymore, but Mom says that is because it is so hot. I'm not sure about that. At least I know Gumball can't go on walks with us, because most of the time he walks super-slow, and then gets tired, and Mom carries him. And when she carries him, she rubs his back, and kisses his head, and talks to him in his ears, and most of the time I just run ahead of them so I don't have to watch all that. And that is just for our short potty trips at home or at work - imagine what it would be like if it was one of our long walkies!

I'm not so sure about this big brother stuff, but I am trying very hard to be a good big brother, 'cause it makes my Mom happy, and she tells me how good I am, and also because I did not like 'strictshuns!