Thursday, December 24, 2009
One day last week, while Mom was helping customers at the store, I hid in my new bed at the store, and licked and licked and licked a spot on my hip until I had another one of those "hot spot" things that always makes Mom put the bucket on my head.
Here is me today, with my bucket head, playing with my good old "swollen tongue" toy.
This is still a great toy, even though it has quit squeaking.
I hate when squeakers quit squeaking!
Now, the good thing about wearing my bucket is that when I get tired of playing with one of my toys, I can just drop it, and carry it around in the bucket until I want to play with it again - this works pretty good with all my toys - even my big babies!
It does NOT work so good with treats Mom throws at me (why do I always miss catching them when I wear this thing?) Anyway - the treat gets stuck around my neck area, and I can't reach it, but I lick and lick trying to get it, and then the treat is all sticky, and my neck is all sticky, and, well - you get the idea.
Mom has special medicine for my boo-boo, and she puts it on me (I don't mind!) and I wear the cone around the house so I don't lick off the medicine, and so I don't lick my boo-boo.
But thanks to this new thing Mom found at the PetSmart (I Looooove going there!) - I don't have to suffer the humiliation of wearing my bucket head in public anymore!
Mom calls these doggie bandaids - they have special stuff on them to keep me from licking, and she can put in on my boo-boo, and it is basically invisible ('cause it is the same color as my fur!) - but when people at the store rub me, they sometimes find it. But sometimes not.
These doggie bandaids make Mom sneeze if she gets close too them - that is because they are coated in Cayenne pepper. They don't make me sneeze, but I sure don't lick 'em, either!
So, I wear the bucket at home, so my medicine can work, and I wear the pepper bandaid at work, so I don't look so silly. The pepper bandaid won't stick to my medicine, or else I would never have to wear the stupid bucket!
I hope everybody has a good holiday!
Mom and I are spending a couple of days lounging around the house, and then on Saturday we are driving up to the mountains to visit our friends, and we hope it is snowing up there!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
First of all, Mom is making me tell all of you that this report card I got the last time I stayed at the doggie hotel is a BFL (Big Fat Lie).
After Mom and I took our shower last night (you should have seen how much dog hair was all over Mom when we finished - sheesh! she acted like it was gross or something!), she spent hours and hours blow-drying me.
Then she got out 2 different brushes, and a comb, and tried to "make me pretty" - but I snarled and snapped, and squirmed and wiggled, and was very uncooperative. So now she thinks the doggie hotel must put me on doggie Valium before they ever brush me.
So, anyway, back to the big news.
Mom got up 20 minutes early this morning!
I know - this is highly unusual, so I was already super-suspicious.
She did her usual morning routine, and let me do mine, and then when it was time for her to go to work (this is the time I usually hide in the backyard and make her bribe me with treats to get me to come inside) she opened the back door and yelled "Let's get your leash!"
So I came running at super duper speed, and helped her find my leash, and she put it on me, and I helped show her where the car is, and I got in, and we went.....
Straight to the doctor's office - but only so she could get me a quick pedicure.
So then we drove and drove some more, and we ended up at her work - and she let me in, and took off my leash, and then went back to the car and brought in my new bed, and all my new toys, and treats, and filled a water bowl for me, and told me I get to come to work with her EVERYDAY now - forever!!
Look - if you pay attention, you will see that I have a brand new cow-baby here at work - he is just like my one at home, except this one is white, and the one at home has turned brown. Don't know why - must be what happens when cows get old.
So I checked out my bed, and sometimes I lie in it, but mostly I have a lot of jobs to do!
I have to greet all the customers, and help them shop.
And Mom has lots of beads hanging on pegboards, and I dust these several times an hour, to keep them clean.
All the peoples that come here are very friendly, and like to give me rubs and treats.
The only bad thing is, Mom spends a lot of time doing the same boring stuff she does at home - play with beads.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Then she rushed me upstairs and into her bathroom, and made me take shower with her. Well, mostly it was me getting the shower - she used some girly-smelling shampoo, and then some girly-smelling conditioner, and then she tried to blow me dry (which I normally enjoy as a game) - but this was different, and after one whole hour she gave up. She said that now she knows while Phil (my Professional Bather) ties me to the wall when he blows me dry. And why Phil's blow dryer is 10 times more powerful than hers.
Then I wanted to run outside and roll around in the really wet dirt and mud in the backyard, and she said NO.
So I am rolling on her clean comforter, and getting it good and smelly.
She says the reason for all of this will become clear tomorrow.
She is very busy watching So You Think You Can Dance, so now I am going to go around and get reacquainted with some of my old buds!
I'll try to get back to you tomorrow with whatever the big news is.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Everything is OK - and thanks to everyone who worried about me - so sorry you worried! I missed you guys, too!
Mom hasn't been feeling too good, so she and I just snuggled a lot, instead of working on the computer. That was really fun for me! I love snuggling!
Have you guys ever had these great treats? They are huge pieces of cheese, and sausage, and sometimes bacon - Mom got me some, and I love them!
They are all gone now, and I want MORE!!!
I will try very hard to be a better blogger!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Mom loaded all her suitcases in the car, and I ran out and jumped in, while carrying my leash - and we drove 3 whole miles, and I ended up at my doctor's office, for a whole week!
They are nice people, and they play with me and everything, but that is NOT a vacation!
I even had to have a little bit of surgery, because I had a lump on my side, but the doctor told my Mom it is just a cyst, so everything is OK.
I also had to have a bath.
Whenever I stay at the kennel, Mom gets a report card, and mine is always excellent, of course. But this time, the peoples that took care of me wrote on my report card that I love to be brushed- and Mom thought they were joking, because whenever Mom tries to brush me, I squirm, and growl a little, and nip at her fingers (not hard!) - but now Mom knows it is just another one of my tricks!
Big PS to all my friends: If you are following me, and I am not following you back, please let me know - this is all very confusing to me, but I am trying very hard to figure it out!!!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
And that only means one thing!
So I have been doing a lot of thinking and dreaming about where we could be going.
I just love rolling in the snow, and eating snow!
Maybe we will go back to the beach!
The beach is so cool! Lots of water for swimming (but don't drink it, 'cause you will throw up!)
And rolling in the sand is SO cool! Then you go and jump in Mom's lap. That is fun!
And there is horse poop at the beach we go to - and you know how I feel about that!
Or maybe we will go to a big fancy hotel and doggie spa, and I can sleep late, and get massages and belly rubs!
I have NO idea where we are going, but I'll tell you all about it when I get back.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
My Mom has a bunch of names for me, but no matter what she calls me, I know she is talking to me (partly because there's no one else here, but also because sometimes you just know stuff, you know?)
These are some of my names - some of them are really silly, but I don't mind:
Peas and Rabbits
Darlin' Pea Pie
Bailey Boo-ker (rhymes with pooker)
That's all I can think of right now!
Mom can call me whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't call me Late to Supper.
Tell me some of your names!
Oh yeah - don't forget to vote for my definition (don't vote for the wrong one)! Thanks!
Friday, August 28, 2009
I am now published in Urban Dictionary!
Take a look, and give my definition a paws up!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
We have lots of rabbits in our yard, and they leave lots of poop, and it is yummy.
But I digress.
We have a really really big back yard, and lots of woods in our yard, and I like to roam around in the woods a lot. And lots of times that is where I poop. But if I don't poop in the woods, I poop in one of Mom's flower beds.
See, a long, long time ago, before I was even born, Mom had another beautiful Golden, and he was very persnickety, and would only poop in the freshly mown grass. So Mom had to go out everyday and scoop up his poop and throw it in the bushes, so that both of them wouldn't step in it.
So when I came along, and never pooped in the grass, she was very excited - 'cause she didn't ever have to scoop poop anymore!
And then one day, I ran out of bunny poop, and discovered some of my old poop in a flower bed, and I ate it.
And the vet said: "Well, you could always just scoop up his poop.... But there is nothing wrong with Bailey."
Mom was really mad at the vet for this advice. She tried putting a muzzle on me when I went out in the yard, but I could squeeze my tongue out through the tiny opening in the muzzle, and still eat poop.
So Mom has given up on my "horrible addiction" as she calls it.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.
But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!
And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??
Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:
Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.
I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.
And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!
Like lightning, I tell you.
And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."
And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.
Monday, August 17, 2009
It's always been there forever and ever, so I could visit with the next door doggies?
Well, Mom came home from work a few days ago, and let me out, and I ran to my peep-hole to check on the new doggy that moved in last week, and look what we found!
I am so mad!
The new neighbors blocked off my peep-hole.
Mom is mad, too - because it is her fence!
Mom and I played a little soccer today, but not much, because it was really hot and humid outside.
Mom said she might get her saw out and give me my peep-hole back. I hope she does, 'cause I am a very curious and friendly dog! I want to visit with the doggy next door.
But the neighbor peoples don't seem very nice at all.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Do you recognize it?
Here is a hint:
It is cow baby's left ear.
Once again, one of my brand new dog toys is falling apart, all on it's own.
But I think I have figured out the reason all my dog toys keep falling apart!
If you look closely at the top picture, you will notice there there is a lot of Bailey-hair all over the ear. Hence, dog hair must cause deterioration of dog toys, and the longer you play with them, the more dog hair they get on them, so the more rapid the deterioration.
I really AM a genius, just like my Mom says!
Friday, July 31, 2009
And about an hour later, she noticed that she was hearing a very repetitive licking sound coming from somewhere - and she started looking for me, and she couldn't see me anywhere. Because I am smart, and I had crawled behind a big chair to hide from her!
So for 4 days, she let me be out of the cone whenever she was home and awake, and I was perfectly behaved, and didn't do any bad licking, so last night she let me sleep without the cone.
She even gave me a huge rawhide bone so I could celebrate, and have something delicious to chew and suck on!
And then this morning, she gave me a full body frisking, and didn't find any wet spots, so she decided I was over it, and she went to work and left me out of the cone! Hurray!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Well, Mom must have sent enough ransoms to the lady in the mountains, because Gingey is home at last!
I am just so excited! This picture was taken just moments after Mom opened the package -
I ran around the house a lot with Gingey!
We went upstairs while Mom changed her clothes, and I paused on the bed, but never let go of Gingey.
Then Mom went downstairs to cook dinner, and I raced after her, and I was so excited, and between wearing my cone and having Gingey in my mouth, I guess I couldn't see the stairs, and I was running too fast, and I fell down the stairs!
Fortunately, Mom was just a few steps from the bottom, and she heard the commotion as I came thundering down the stairs in a big tangle, and she stuck out her leg, and saved me! I composed myself, and raced her to the kitchen, and you know what?
I never even dropped Gingey!!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
As usual, I spent last night in Mom's closet, just like I do every July 4 (and every New Year's Eve, too).
I peeped out a couple of times to make sure Mom was OK, but mostly I just hid deep in her big comfy closet, 'til all the bang-bang noises were over.
I came out around 1 AM, and jumped up on Mom's bed to let her know it was time to take me outside.
And that's when she noticed that my left hip was all wet. And she knew what I had been doing in the closet - I had been "worryating" on my left hip, and now I have a great big boo-boo there. Mom said I was naughty. I can't help it, though - sometimes I just do this when I'm nervous!
It was all red last night, and Mom put medicine on it.
And naturally, now I have to wear the cone again.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Mom talked to the lady at the mountain house yesterday, and evidently I will only get Gingey back if Mom sends her some "ransom."
I have no idea what "ransom" is, but I saw Mom hurry and pack an envelope, and mail it to the lady.
I am worried, because it was not a very big envelope, and I want Gingey back.
So if you have any extra ransom lying around, please mail it to:
The Mountain House where Tai and Nummy Live
Speaking of Nummy, I suspect she is behind all this.
She always wants my toys, and look at her evil eyes!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Mom and I go to the mailbox everyday, checking for Gingey.
But no Gingey yet - it has been a long 14 days.
Mom finally broke down and got me this new cow baby - it even Mooooos - which really irritates Mom sometimes.
I like my cow, but it's no Gingey...
I'm a pretty talented dog, you know - I can wink!
I wink all the time, but I do it fast, and up 'til now, no pictures existed... but here's the proof.
I guess my phone will be ringing off the hook now, for movies and stuff where they need a beautiful winking dog!
Can you see my nose freckle in this picture?
Friday, June 19, 2009
This is poor piggy, who I told you about last time.
They just don't make dog toys like they used to, huh?
I just loved piggy, like I love all my babies, and one day he just fell apart.
The good thing is, when I pick up piggy and shake him back and forth really hard, all kinds of piggy fur and dog hair and other stuff flies off of him, and usually lands in Mom's food (not that she is always eating, or anything), and then she shrieks a lot like a little girl.
But the bad thing is, poor piggy is not a very good pillow for me anymore.
I hope the mailman is very careful with my Gingey, and gets him to me fast!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Mom had helped me pack my stuff, and I took ugly baby, because he is really good for tug-of-war, and I remembered that the nice man at the vacation house is really good at tug-of-war, and of course I took Gingey baby, because he is the best baby ever!
When we pulled up in the driveway, I was super-excited, and leaped out of the car with my leash, and ran up the stairs to the big glass door (after I stopped for a long tinkle), and peeped inside, and waited for my Mom to make it up the steep stairs. (It's quite a climb!)
It took Mom a looooong time to get up to the door!
But she finally did, and she knocked, and the nice vacation man came and let us in, and that's when my excitement ended.
'Cause I had forgotten all about these 2 characters: Tai, and Nummy - who evidently live there.
They are probably nice dogs and everything, but this was MY vacation, and it was supposed to be all about ME!
So I pouted for 2 whole days on Mom's vacation bed. Just me and ugly baby and Gingey.
I didn't even eat!
And everytime anybody took me outside, I ran straight to Mom's car, and sat beside my door, waiting for them to let me in, so I could go back home. But we still stayed there. Mom let me sit in the car for about a half hour one day, but we never left.
Mom was up there to go to school, so she was gone most of the day, and after I quit pouting, I had a really good time.
The littlest dog is Nummy - she is a Yorkiepoo, whatever that means, and she thinks she is the queen of the house, or something. All I know is, she likes to steal my toys.
They had these great hard plastic balls there, and everybody thought it was Sooooo cute when Nummy played with the ball - probably because the ball was bigger than her whole head!
This one is my favorite chair (because it is close to the remote!)
I want my Gingey!
PS: Happy Father's Day to all you great dads out there!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Plus, Blogger quit telling me when you nice peoples made comments on my Blog, so I thought all my friends were on vacation!
I have an ear infection right now, and my ears are all red and swollen and itchy, and Mom says it makes my breath and my head all stinky, but I don't know about that.
She has to give me ear medicine a lot, and I don't mind, but whenever I see her with the bottle, I jump on the bed and do this with my foot - she calls me Foot Boy when I do it. Then she puts the medicine in whichever ear is sticking up, and she says "Flip!" and I turn over so she can doctor on the other ear. I really don't mind., but I make a big show out of it.
See you soon!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
You may remember my red ring toy from the dreadful things Mom did to my new ginger baby on my birthday....
But anyway, now that it is free again, I am playing with it a lot more - and when I carry it, I always carry it like this, which my Mom seems to think is High-larious. I don't know why.
When I had to go out this morning (OK, when I had to go out the 14th time...) I chose red ring as the special toy I carried to the back door. I always carry one of my toys everywhere I go, but sometimes I forget where I leave them!
Does that ever happen to anyone else?
So, since I'm not allowed to take my inside toys outside, I put red ring down, and when I came back, it was right where I left it, so I carried it back upstairs and hopped back up on Mom's messy Sunday morning bed.
We are having a very lazy day today. I keep trying to get Mom to play with me outside, but she's not having any of it.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Of course, my Mom loves jewelry, and so she took my poor innocent stuffed red ring toy, and turned it into a necklace for my new birthday baby. I didn't like it one bit, and kept trying to take it off, but I couldn't get it off my new baby, so Mom finally got the hint, and took it off.