Monday, January 26, 2009

Creatures of Habit

Warning! Do not read this if you have a delicate constitution!

You know, dogs are creatures of habits - we all have our little rituals.

People do, too - they just don't like to admit it. But I know ALL my Mom's rituals, and I have carefully and strategically adapted my behaviors to best suit my Mom's, 'cause that's what good companions do!

So, here is a list of my daily rituals - this is what I do on days that Mom has to go to work - which is almost everyday.

1. When Mom's alarm goes off, she shuts it off and sleeps some more, and the alarm goes off again, and she hits it, and then she lies in bed for a little while mumbling and groaning about not wanting to get up. After about 10 minutes of this, she says my name, and then I know I can get up on the bed for morning snuggles. I LOVE morning snuggles!

2. Then, Mom tells me we have to get up, and she goes into her bathroom for a minute, and then we go downstairs and she lets me out for potty time, and then I rush back inside, because it is:

3.Breakfast time! Breakfast time! I love breakfast! I have the same thing, everyday. But that's OK! I love breakfast!

4) While I'm eating, Mom goes to take a shower. When I finish my breakfast, I rush upstairs and lie on her bed, watching the bathroom door very closely.

5) When she finishes her shower, and finishes putting on all her face creams and lotions, she opens the bathroom door, and I rush in, get a drink of water from my bowl, and lick all of her bathroom towels. Mom thinks this is gross, but it is really delicious. Try it sometime!

6) Mom starts to blow-dry her hair, and I rush over so she will blow my hair, too, because I love the blow-dryer. Mom teases me sometimes by blowing my face, and that makes me bark and bark, and then I turn around so she will blow my back, and rub me.

7) I always try to lick off her leg lotion, and she always tells me no.

8) Then I start to growl softly, because that is how I tell Mom I need to go outside again.

9) Mom turns off the blow-dryer, and takes me downstairs and lets me out. I spend a lot of time walking around, looking for squirrels and stuff, plus I do all my other business. When I am finished, I come back inside (I know how to open the door) and head for the love seat in the living room, ... and get comfy.

10) When Mom is finally ready for work, she comes downstairs, and checks to make sure I am inside (I am almost always on the love seat, but sometimes I like to laze around outside in the sun). If I haven't come inside yet, I refuse to come in until she bribes me with a biscuit.

11) Then, Mom tells me goodbye, and leaves for work, and I begin my daily duties.

Notice: no where in that schedule did Mom eat breakfast - she never eats breakfast when she is going to work - I don't understand it - I could NEVER skip breakfast - but my Mom does.

But here's the thing - If it is a day when Mom does NOT go to work, I have to switch up my ritual a little bit in order to accomodate hers. You must understand, this is all to help out my Mom!

1) I immediately know it is a day when she is staying home, because her alarm never goes off - this is good is some ways, because I know she will be staying home with me, and playing with me. And it is bad in some ways, because she sleeps a really really long time some times, and I have to wait and wait and wait to go outside in the morning - and sometimes I really need to go! But I never wake her up, because I am a good dog!

2) We have our morning snuggles, and she goes to her bathroom, and then she takes me downstairs and lets me out.

3) I rush rush rush out, and then I rush back inside, because I know she will be eating breakfast!

4) She gives me my breakfast, and starts to cook hers. Her breakfasts are always more delicious than mine.

5) She takes her breakfast and her coffee upstairs to eat in bed while she watches some TV, and as soon as I finish my breakfast, I rush upstairs and jump on her bed. Sometimes I finish my breakfast before she finishes cooking hers, and I beat her upstairs.

6) Then, I start to heave and heave, and I throw up my breakfast in the middle of her bed, so that I will have more room in my tummy in case she wants to share her breakfast with me.

7) Then Mom has to put her breakfast down, and she is yelling at me, and she starts to clean up my breakfast, so I start to help her - she can't just throw away my perfectly good breakfast - so I eat some of it again, and she throws some of it away, all the time fussing at me. How can she throw away my own perfectly good breakfast? I always intend to go back and eat it after I finish helping her with HER breakfast. I think it is mean, and wasteful.

8) Then Mom finishes her breakfast, and sometimes she shares the tail end of it with me, and then she washes her comforter.

But here's the thing - I do this every single time that Mom cooks breakfast for herself. For years and years, Mom thought I was sick, and she almost took me to the doctor one time, to make sure I didn't have a bad illness.

Then, all of a sudden, after 9 years of this same ritual, this morning my Mom made the brilliant deduction that I was doing this on purpose, and she decided that on days she was staying home and eating breakfast, she wasn't going to give me MY breakfast until long after she finishes hers.

That's not fair.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

So Many New Friends!

This has been a really exciting week for me!

So many new friends have come to meet me and visit me here on my blog - I was going to put their pictures on here, but there are just too many!

Take a look at my bloggy friends over there ------>

and check them out - they are so nice!

The only thing that would make this weekend even better is if Mom would take me to the new doggy park over in Augusta - maybe you can leave her a few comments, and help me convince her!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Good things come in Orange Packages

First, let me start by saying I looooooove Cheez-its!

Mom's favorite flavor is Parmesan and Garlic - they're OK, but the bestest Cheez-its are the plain cheesy ones, and the second best is White Cheddar, but now Mom only buys Parmesan and Garlic, so what can I do?

Mom and I have Cheez-its lots of time for nighttime snacks.

Sometimes, she forgets that I need my nighttime Cheez-its, and if the box is anywhere in our room, I will go stand in front of it and stare at it, so she will remember.

So, last night I was really excited because as soon as Mom got home from work, she grabbed a brand new FULL box and brought it upstairs, and threw it on the bed while she changed clothes.

I just knew good things were coming my way!

But then, as usual, she got out her dumb old computer, and started playing with it instead of with me, and soon enough, she forgot all about the Cheez-its.

I even grabbed the box and brought it closer to her, but she wouldn't get off the computer. For Hours. And Hours.

But finally she did, and then we had snacks!

And then the best thing EVER happened - Mom put the box on the pillow next to her so she could keep playing on the dumb computer, and she forgot all about the Cheez-its. I wanted more Cheez-its, and I kept bugging her, but she ignored me. I kept creeping closer and closer to the pillow, trying to get her to give me some, but nothing.

And then I creeped one more time, and the whole OPEN box fell off the bed, and I leaped for it, and Mom pushed her computer off her lap and tried to grab the box, but it was too late. There were millions of Cheez-its on the floor, and Mom let me have ALL of them!

You probably remember that I like to recycle the Cheez-it boxes when they are empty.

But we didn't empty the box last night, even after it fell off the bed, so that means more Cheez-its for me, soon!

Then I will get rid of that empty box, and a new full box will magically appear in the kitchen!

And did you know that I love Cheez-its soooo much that I will even do dumb tricks to get them?

Oh well - anything for that cheezy goodness, I guess.

No - not anything. I will NOT wear a hat just to get a Cheez-it.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone, and once again those people next door made all those dreadful bang-bang noises that are so scary!

I always have to find somewhere safe to hide, but where I can still keep an eye on my Mom.

I like her closet the best.

I know the noises scare my Mom, too, because she keeps calling and calling me to come get in the bed with her, but I just can't, because it is too close to the noises!

And I can't go outside, either - it is way scarier than thunder and lightning.

I hope all of you don't have bad neighbors, and had a good New Year!

Mom brought a special treat home for me yesterday, because I am always so good!

She likes to get salads from Zaxby's, but she doesn't like the bread, so she saves it for me.

This time, it had salad juice on it, so it was extra delicious!

When I saw what Mom had in her hands, and smelled it, I dropped my babies (I was carrying 2 babies!) really fast and got busy!

I just wish Mom would bring me a whole salad some time, 'cause I am always really good, and I'm pretty sure salads are good for me.

See you later!