Sunday, May 1, 2011

It's my birthday!

Today is my 12-year old birthday! It has been a really fun day.

Mom said I couldn't have a new birthday party hat today, because she spent too much money on this hat she wore to some dumb ole wedding a couple of days ago, and now I have to wear it so she can "get her money's worth out of it".

She thought she looked really pretty in it, until the press said it was ugly. I don't really think it is ugly, although it looks a little like the rose trellis in our backyard. So anyway, now it is my hat, and it pinches my head a little, so I'm gonna take it off soon and chew it up, like I do with all my hats. 'Cause you know how I feel about dogs and hats!

So, except for the hat, I have had the bestest birthday ever! Mom declared it a holiday, and said we would be staying home from work all day and lounging around, and that is what we did. And she opened all the windows, and I spent a long time barking at all the trespassers that walked by in front of our house. And I barked at a box, but in my defense, it was a really big box.

Oh, and I got a dumb ole rawhide chip.

The bestest part of my birthday was that all my facebook friends are celebrating with me!

See you later!

Monday, April 4, 2011

My weekend

Well, some good stuff happened and some bad stuff happened, and some weird stuff happened!

On Friday afternoon at work, Mom announced that she needed to vacuum, so she brought out the vacuum and plugged it in (Gumball is very scared of the vacuum!) and she started to vacuum, and then she stopped, and said that the vacuum wasn't sucking anything up.

She checked the vacuum cleaner bag, and it was empty, and she had put it in the right way.

Then she turned the vacuum cleaner upside down, and started inspecting the big spinning bar on the bottom of it, and she sat down with the upside-down vacuum and got some small scissors and started cutting, and kept talking about how there was some dog hair wrapped around the brush, but not much (HA!) and that normally that didn't affect the sucking, anyway.

Then she inspected all the hoses, and couldn't find anything blocking them.

So then she got really confused, and she started taking the vacuum apart, and on the inside of it she found a yellow sponge that looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants, and it was clean. So now she didn't know what to do. She finally decided to explore some more, because she said she was NOT going to buy a new vacuum, and I hope not, because this one has a wonderful "Bailey attachment" that she uses to vacuum me, and it feels Sooooooooooo good!

She lifted up the vacuum Sponge Bob Square Pants, and said "Whoa..."

She even made her friend come and look at it, and her friend said "Oh my god you got a hamster in your vacuum!" So that got me to come in for an even closer look.

But it wasn't a hamster!

This is what it looked like after Mom used tools to dig it out of the vacuum's tummy.

Mom says it was a dense blob of my hair and carpet fibers from the store. And some dirt. it was pretty big! This sort of proves my theory about toxic dog hair, huh? After Mom put the vacuum cleaner back together, it worked like brand new! But here's the deal: That is NOT my hair. It is Gumball's.

Here is my proof: 1) As you can seen in this picture, my hair is a lustrous red, while Gumball's hair is sandy brown, like the vacuum hamster's.
2) Golden Retreiever's do NOT shed. It is a well-known fact, right, guys?
3) Mom vacuums me almost every day at work, so there is no way any of my beautiful hair could get trapped in the vacuum's tummy (um, that made sense in my head)

On Sunday, Mom asked me if I wanted to go ride in the car, so I came running, and jumped in the car, and Mom did NOT go back inside to get Gumball. Just Mom and me went for a ride! It was so peaceful! We went to work, but just for a short visit. And then we had another peaceful ride home!

Later Sunday night Mom was working on the computer (duh), doing something she calls "syncing the iPad." I do not know anything about that, but I DO know that now she has TWO laptop computers, and that is no fair. But anyway, when she does this syncing thing, the small computer is hooked up to the other computer with a short cord she calls the "USB Cable". And this syncing stuff takes a really really long time, like 2 hours! It is ridiculous. But anyway, Mom started the syncing, and after about an hour she decided to go cook dinner, and so I ate my dinner, and then ran upstairs to drool on her while she ate hers. And I jumped on the bed and nudged my way over to her, and she started yelling and yelling, and I decided I better go hide in my bed, even though she was eating. It was a tough decision, but she seemed pretty mad. Mad enough that she had put her hot dinner over on the table, and grabbed the computers, and that's when she started telling me I had stepped on the USB cable and unplugged it from the 'puter, and now she had to start the sync all over. Oh noes. But she started it again, and then I snuck back over to the bed, and eventually she convinced me it was safe for me to jump back up there. And I got to lick her soup bowl when she was finished. Yay!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

It's all about Gumball

Gumball Gumball Gumball. He is my nemesis, you know. He is Mr. Bossy Boots about everything, and tries to keep me away from my toys, and my Mom's bed, heck - he tries to keep me out of Mom's whole room! Mom and I still have lap time, and go on walkies, but that little yapper sure has changed things around here! Yesterday, Mom was giving me some rawhide chews, and Gumball wanted one, and since he doesn't have a bottom jaw or any teeth, I don't really see the point, but Mom naturally gave him some 'cause he asked for them. She put them in this bed, because that is the easies place for him to lick them. And that is really all he can do. He licks, and licks, and licks, and sometimes he tries to chew them, but then he goes back to the licking.

So here is where he has discovered them in his bed, and he picked the one with bacon wrapped around it

He couldn't lie in his bed while he licked them, so he planted himself on the lip of his bed, and anchored them with his paws and the bed pillow, and licked, and licked, and licked.

More licking. Every hour or so he would get up to go drink a lot of water.

Here Gumball tries a new stance on attacking the bones. This is what the two chews looked like after 5 hours of licking. Gumball was on another water break. I tried to steal these perfectly good bones, but Mom wouldn't let me. As you can see, Gumball also is a bed-scratcher. He scratched for-EVER before he lies down. Every time. His poor bed is a mess. Mom tried to get a new pillow for his bed, but they don't make them. The store told her she has to buy a whole new bed. Someone at the shop suggested Mom just buy some fleece and take off the ratty cover, and sew him a new one. Mom laughed, and laughed! She said she has 2 hundred-something half-finished jewelry projects, and more she wants to start, so why on earth would she decide to go fabric shopping, and then tried to make a cover for his cushion? She figures she'll eventually have to buy a whole new bed. But for now, this one still washes good in the washing machine, and dries in the dryer, and Gumball likes it, so he's stuck with it. Sorry to be such a bad blogger. There are just so many other things to do!!