Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
I already knew how he was doing it, 'cause I watched him do it all week in the mountains, but I couldn't tell Mom, 'cause it is fun to keep secrets from her, and see her be all confused. Plus, us dogs have to stick together!.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
And he has magical powers, too - like, we went on vacation again last week to see our friends Kathy and John in the mountains, and believe it or not, Gumball came, too. And he got to sit in the front seat with Mom, and she rubbed his head and his back a lot all the way up there, and all the way home. I never get to sit in the front seat - Mom says it is because I am too big, but I think front-seat-sitting is a magical power, sort of. Of course, I don't really want him riding in the back seat with me, either.
So this morning, Mom and I went for a long walkie because it has started to be a little cooler here in the morning, and to stop the bed-dragging, Mom took Gumball's bed downstairs and left it by the door. But when we got home from our walk, Gumball wasn't in his bed, or any of his usual downstairs spots (like my downstairs bed, or on the sofa, or on a chair), so she went looking for him, and found him lying on the floor where his special bed usually is. So now Mom says she gives up, and he can move his bed wherever he wants. But she still wants to see how he is doing it. But of course, he doesn't do it when Mom is around. Zombies are sneaky like that.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"'Stictshuns" means that my Mom said I couldn't use the computer, so I couldn't update my blog and talk to all my friends, and I have missed you! And I couldn't use dumb ole FaceBook, but that was OK, because FaceBook still confuses me and makes my head hurt sometimes.
Mom said I had to be on 'strictshuns until I got an attitude adjustment about Gumball. She said I cannot exagerrate about him anymore, or call him "Dumball", or mean kind of stuff like that. And that I have to try to be less jealous. She said I am his big brother now, and I have to set a good example.
Then she told me I was really the "little brother" because he is much older than I am, but since he is so tiny, and I was here first, I get to be the big brother.
I had a lot of problems at first with this attitude thing. Like, he gets to eat 6 or 7 times a day! (I was gonna say he gets to eat a hundred times a day, but that is the kind of exaggerating I can't be doing anymore).
And he eats special food! It smells so good, and he gets to have real gravy on it (not the gravy that comes out of the tap on Mom's sink, like I get). And at first, Mom would have to tie me up with my leash, or shut me up in the bedroom or bathroom, so that I wouldn't eat his food. I never tried to eat it while HE was eating it, but it takes him an hour to eat (that is NOT an exaggeration!) and he has this habit of eating for 10 minutes or so, and then walking a lap around the downstairs, and going back to his bowl and eating some more - and he does this all the time. I figured that once he walked away that bowl of food is fair game, and I should get to clean up what was left, but Mom said "No", 'cause he needs his food 'cause he is so skinny, and after a few days of being tied on my leash or shut up in the bathroom, I learned real quick that I can only clean his bowl when Mom tells me it is OK. So I sit a few feet away, and wait for those magic words.
But I still don't understand why he gets to eat so much - Mom says my doctor told her he needs to gain 4 pounds - but she told my Mom I could stand to gain 5 pounds, and Mom only added a midnight snack for me!
And I'm not supposed to step on him anymore - so I always look where I am barreling now, and try very hard to be careful where I put my feet, 'cause he always seems to be right up under me!
Mom got me a new elephant Baby to reward me for being a good big brother.
And here's something else I don't understand - Gumball doesn't like Babies! Or Squeaky toys!
I'm not complaining - I am happy that he doesn't steal my toys like Nummy does!
But the little chowhound steals my bones!!
Mom started giving me extra bones, and I was enjoying one on the bed, and Gumball came over and just put his mouth right on it, so I moved back, and he proceeded to drag it off to his bed.
He doesn't even know how to carry a bone correctly, and all he does is lick lick lick them - Mom says it is because he doesn't have any teeth.
This is me pouting right after he stole this delicious bone. He somehow gets one end of my bones in his mouth, and then drags them backward, using the floor or the bed as his bottom jaw ('cause he doesn't have a bottom jaw either) and the next thing you know, they are in his bed.
Here is Gumball playing with my stolen cheesebone, and you can see the other special bone tucked in his bed.
He even buries them under the soft mattress in his bed! But I know all about his hiding places, and when he is not in his bed, I go over to it and steal my bones back. I am still getting in a little bit of trouble for this. Mom says she will just get me a new bone every time he steals mine, but it's the principle, you know?
He started stealing my bones the day before Mom took him to see my doctor, and left me at home! I knew she had been there, because she smelled like my doctor's office when she got home! Mom says the doctor told her that Gumball remembers chewing bones when he was younger, and that it was perfectly OK for him to have bones, and they DO seem to make him happy, so I let him keep stealing them. But I still steal them back sometimes!
Mom sometimes puts his bed on top of her bed, and he used to sleep up there with her, but she stopped doing that a couple of days ago, because when he gets thirsty or want to go outside, he would just leap over the side of the bed and onto the floor, and Mom was afraid he was going to get hurt.
He has special stairs that he can use to get up and down from Mom's bed, and he is getting better about using the stairs instead of jumping.
You see how he has his own soft special blue bed? He has one at Mom's store, too. At home, he has a bad habit of sneaking into my special bed, instead of his. But at the store, he has never even tried to get in my bed. Mom says that is because it is too far away from my Mom - and I think that sounds about right, because he follows her everywhere!
So this is my big pouty face after my bones got stolen. Even my Babies couldn't cheer me up.
But I am doing much better, and Mom keeps telling me I am the bestest dog, and she gives me lots of kisses and hugs, but things are definitely different. Like we hardly ever play soccer anymore.
And we don't go on walkies anymore, but Mom says that is because it is so hot. I'm not sure about that. At least I know Gumball can't go on walks with us, because most of the time he walks super-slow, and then gets tired, and Mom carries him. And when she carries him, she rubs his back, and kisses his head, and talks to him in his ears, and most of the time I just run ahead of them so I don't have to watch all that. And that is just for our short potty trips at home or at work - imagine what it would be like if it was one of our long walkies!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
And then Mom got up and went into the bathroom (naturally, I followed her.)
And then that OTHER dog started talking to my Mom - telling her that he needed to go out!
Everyone knows you don't have to tell Mom this in the morning, and that she gets to go first!
But she finished, and then carried the OTHER ONE downstairs and outside, and he peed a lot, and then he pooped, which for some reason made Mom weirdly happy - she never gets excited when I poop!
And then we went inside for breakfast. And she fed the OTHER one first. This is so not fair.
He finally finished, and I cleaned up his mess, and Mom fixed my food, and let the OTHER one lick all the gravy out of my breakfast. There is only so much I can take! But he finally drank it all, and Mom put more gravy in, and I ate my breakfast, while the 2 of them went upstairs.
And when I got upstairs, I jumped up on the bed and found the OTHER one ON MY MOM'S BED!
Yikes! Look at my pouty sad face!
But I held my ground, until Mom came and sat down right where I was, and I had to move to the foot of the bed.
The OTHER one got to stay up there with her.
After a couple of hours, we went outside for a pee break, and when we came back in, Mom fixed more of my delicious food with gravy, and let the OTHER one have all the gravy. Then they went upstairs, and I stayed down in the kitchen, gobbling up the gravy-less food.
And I enjoyed it until Mom kicked me with her giant foot, and I had to get off the bed for my own safety - so I decided I would get in my nice soft bed.
But, OH NOES!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I am very confused.
If my friends reading this know people in the Aiken'Augusta/North Augusta area, please send this to them via Facebook, or Twitter, or e-mail, or whatever. Let's get the word out so this little doggie can get back home to his regular Mommy! Thanks!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
She does this a lot - and it is high time I told the truth about this horrible treatment I receive!
Mom fixes herself these fancy lunches, and dinners, and sometimes even breakfast (like French Toast, which looks and smells delicious, but she has never never let me taste it- she says the sugar is bad for me.)
So anyway, she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and fixes the stuff.
Today, she fixed a big old fancy salad - with lettuce, and grilled chicken, and cherry tomatoes, and corn, and carrots, and sunflower seeds, and cheese cheese cheese, and dressing -- all my favorites, except of course for lettuce. I will NOT eat plain lettuce - but Mom's lettuce always have lots of dressing on it, so it is yummy.
Anyway, before she started fixing her salad, she gave me a big bowl of my breakfast. Which is AS IT SHOULD BE - of course I should eat first. So I was eating while she was making salad.
She finished making her salad at about the time I finished eating, and then she spent 5 minutes tossing and mixing it really good - just the way I like it!
And then she carried it upstairs, and set it down on the bed, and started playing on the dumb old computer again.
She says she has sensitive teeth, and doesn't like cold food, so the salad has to warm up before she will eat it! That, of course, is nonsense.
So I have to sit there, mere inches from that delicious salad, and just wait.
After a long long time, I finally show her I am no longer interested.
Some days there is a lot more salad for me to clean up than others, 'cause sometimes Mom gets full faster than other times -
Do any of you have cruel torture stories?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Mom rushed inside and changed clothes, and asked me if I wanted to go walk with her.
So we took off, and I walked so much faster than she did that she had to keep whistling for me (she has suddenly quit talking, to everyone - I don't know why. But I know what her whistles mean! I would get very far ahead of her, and she would whistle, so I would kill time by running up to peoples' front doors and peeking in, or checking out their garages if the garage doors were up, or just meeting new friends. I got to meet 4 new friends: a lady who was "weed-whacking," and a man who was shining his truck tires, and a man and a lady who putting their dog in their truck for a ride, and then a nice lady with a toddler - the nice lady called me over (Mom was a long way behind me) - so I pranced over with my leash, and that toddler started screaming bloody murder - and that made his Dad come out of the house, and by then Mom had caught up, and was apologizing because I had "scared the baby", but the Mom and the Dad both knew that the Mom had started it all by calling me over in the first place....
But my point is, I got head pats and butt rubs from 4 new friends today!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
You can't see my toy box in this picture, because Mom didn't get me a toy box for work until last month - she said my toys were getting out of control!!
But I digress. When Mom is helping customers, if the shop is pretty busy, with lots of people walking around (especially childrens), I like to go get in my bed, because I was never around lots of people until Mom starting taking me to work with her, and it gets a little overwhelming for me, so I retreat to my safe corner. [I was never around children when I was growing up, and never met any 'til I started working at the bead shop, so they kinda freak me out a little sometimes! ]
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
It is hot hot hot hot hot. And humid. So it is not much fun outside.
When I go outside with Mom, I run for my soccer ball and I really want to play soccer with Mom, but by the time I bring the ball to her, I am too hot to play, so I just stand there, holding my ball, and let her rub my butt. Then SHE gets too hot, and tells me it is time to go inside.
But she lets me bring my soccer ball inside now, and we play a little bit in the house, but we have to be very careful!
My friend Kathy came to visit me 3 weeks ago, and she stayed for a real long time, and that was a lot of fun. Except one morning Kathy and my Mom left the house when it was still dark outside, and they were gone for a long time, and when the garage door finally opened again, only Kathy was there! She left my Mom somewhere! I was very upset about this.
The next day, Kathy left me all alone at the house again, but she came home soon, and she had found my Mom! I was so glad to see her. But Mom didn't feel good, and had a boo-boo on her neck, and had to go to bed. She started to feel a little better after a few days, and we are going back to work everyday, but she says she still doesn't feel good enough to take me for walkies. I think it's partly because it is so hot!
I survived the bang-bang noises again for another time - this time, our dumb ole neighbors made the bang-bang noises for 2 days in a row! It was scary!
I hope you aren't as hot as I am!
I am spending a lot of time making new friends on FaceBook. Facebook still confuses me, but I am trying!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Basically, almost anything will do - I'm not real picky, as you know.
Although, there are a few things that I just won't eat - like plain ole dry lettuce. Or those bacon thingies.
Mom had a banana at the store the other day.
Naturally, I acted like banana was my favoritist food EVER!
And I told Mom I needed some banana, NOW!
But Mom was being all piggy about her banana, and wouldn't give me a single bite.
So then I told her that banana PEEL was my favoritist food EVER in the whole world, and I asked her very politely (I even stood up on my back legs) for the banana peel.
Mom looked at me like I was crazy, but she handed me the peel.
I have never even smelled one before - but since I had put on such a big show about getting this peel, I knew I couldn't spit it out, so I had to act like it was the best treat EVER!
But you know what - banana peels are not good dog treats.
So I had to carry the peel around, and whenever Mom tried to get it away from me, I ducked my head the other way, and acted like I had some great treasure.
Mom finally left me alone, and I carried the peel a little while longer so she would know I thought it was special, but then, when she wasn't looking, I dropped it in the middle of the floor in the store.
By then, Mom had forgotten about it - and she didn't remember it until a customer came in and saw the peel on the floor. Oooops.
Mom says that was my last banana peel. That's OK - I will just go find my friend Franklin and get some REAL treats!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
She told me that she was watching "Dancing With the Stars", whatever that is, and that my blogging was not going to get in between her and Maks.
So she watched TV, and I sat in her lap, but then she suddenly got all mad about something, and turned off the TV, and said "that SUCKS!", and told me no more TV, and no computer. So she read a book.
Then she told me after a few minutes that Maks had gotten robbed! Robbing is BAD! I feel very sorry for Maks, whoever he is - Mommy was very mad about his robbery.
OK - on to my story.
My Mom has not been feeling good for a long time, but I have been taking very good care of her. Really!
She blabs and blabs about her problems over here.
Well, evidently, I didn't take good enough care of her, because last Thursday, we were at the shop, and the door opened, and in came my good friend John. John is one of our friends that we visit in the mountains a lot, and he pats me and rubs me and plays foot-ball with me (that means he and I wrestle my toy balls with his feet when he is sitting in his recliner! It is a fun game!!)
But here is the problem:
John brought my arch-nemesis, Nummy, with him!
Look at her prancing around my store like she owns the place!
She just took over!
I tried to mind my own business, but she was everywhere!
Look at her licking her lips - just thinking of ways to pester me!
Look at Nummy, doing MY job, watching for customers and delivery men.
And this is an absolutely true story:
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
So instead, here is today's big announcement!
I am on Facebook!
Come visit me, and be my FaceBook Friend! Hope to see you soon.
And hopefully when I get home tonight, Mom will let me blog my news about what she did to me this weekend.......
Sunday, May 16, 2010
And remember how that idea kinda backfired, 'cause my Mom told the deli man that I could not have any more deli treats?
Well, Mom and Franklin (that's the nice man that owns the deli) worked out a deal, where if I eat my breakfast, I can have a little bit of treats from Franklin.
If you remember, the deli is right on the way to my potty spot. As a matter of fact, it is right next to my potty spot.
And it is a long way from Mom's shop - this photo shows a picture taken about about 3 shops away from the deli, and about 4 or 5 shops past my Mom's shop. I am standing in front of the deli. See all that pine straw just past me? There is a long stretch of pine straw and bushes going alongside the deli there - and that is a great private spot for all my doggy business!
When I tell my Mom that I need to go out, I always mean it ('cause I would never tell a lie!), but I have now started telling her I need to go out for different reasons! Only Mom doesn't speak Golden Retriever so good, 'cause she always thinks I am telling her it is potty time, and she can't understand how I could possibly need to go potty every 20 minutes!
So Mom gets my leash, and her sunglasses, and her silly-looking dumb old hat, and her keys, and opens the door. I scoot out and start trotting toward the potty spot while she is locking the store door, and she finally starts following me, and most of the time I just stop in front of the deli, and stand there.
And stand there.
And stand there.
See, if Mom doesn't have any customers at the time, and she sees that I was only "mooching for meat" as she calls it, she stops at "Montego Bay", which is a really nice store with comfy chairs outside, and pretty plants outside, and really really nice peoples there, and she sits down and starts running her mouth with all the nice peoples, and keeps one eye on me, and one eye on her store, in case a customer comes.
Every once in a while I check to make sure Mom is OK, but mostly I just stare inside the deli windows, sending thought-rays at Franklin.
Sometimes, my thought-rays are so powerful that cars pull up to the deli, and people open the door and go inside, and I scoot right on in behind them!
That makes Mom jump up out of her Montego Bay chair and run run run to the deli and haul my hienie right out of there. You guys should see my Mom run. In her dumb old floppy hat. She is a hoot!
Naturally, my super-powerful thought-rays ultimately work (they never fail!), and Franklin opens the door, and comes out to greet and treat me!
At first, I am so excited to see
But I quickly remember my manners, and Franklin gives me something yummy!
And he gives me lots of pats and rubs, too!
Every day Franklin asks my Mom if I ate my breakfast, and makes sure she says yes before he gives me any treats, so now I am a good breakfast eater again.
Except that now, I have been refusing to eat my breakfast in the kitchen, so Mom is taking it out on the deck, and I am eating al fresco. I love being outside!
And here's a little something for everyone who has read this really long story:
My Mom is holding a secret sale in her Etsy shop just for all my bloggy friends - if you visit her shop and see something you love, she will give you 10% off the regular price. All you have to do is, when you are checking out, look for the box that says "message to seller", and just type "Bailey is my friend" in the box. [You'll have to pay the regular price when you check out, but Mom will refund 10% of the item price (not counting the postage) back into your PayPal account]. But hurry - Mom says this sale ends on June 1!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Is it just Me? and her follow up post Evidently, it is NOT just me.
My Mom says thanks!
She also says that if it is happening to any of you, make sure you don't publish the posts OR click on any of the links, 'cause bad things will happen!!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I'm back! Sorry to be gone for so long.
Yesterday was my birthday (now I am 11!) Mom told me that I have not been blogging very much, and I have a ton of stuff to tell you!
Well, I stay very, very busy these days!
Mom's store is in a pretty business center, with about 7 big, long buildings full of stores and all kinds of businesses (like restaurants!).
Every morning when we get to work (except some mornings when Mom oversleeps) we walk all around the shopping complex TWO times, so that everyone can know that we are at work now! (Mom says we are walking for exercise. She says potato, I say potatah. Whatever). Naturally, I carry my own leash, 'cause Mom walks too slow. And I get very very far ahead of her, but if it is time to turn a corner, I stop and wait for her, because I like to keep one eye on Mom!
We have been having some really nice weather, so at the time of the morning that we are walking, lots of stores have their doors propped open so that I can walk in and make sure everything is safe, and that everyone know I am there! (Mom says the doors are open to get fresh air. Whatever.) All I know is, everyone is always glad to see me, and gives me lots of pats and rubs! Whenever I see an open door, I start to run, and scoot inside the open door! I have to run, because sometimes the open door leads into a restaurant, and for some reason, Mom does not want me to go in restaurants, and she starts to run really fast to try to block me from getting in those doors. Seeing my Mom run is funny!!
Everyone at the shopping center likes to see me walking, and they think it is funny that I carry my own leash. Lots of people take pictures of me, and one lady always comes out to greet me, and one day she took my picture, and the next day she told my Mom that now I am on Facebook. I do not know what that means.
After our walk, we open up the store, and then my job is to greet all the customers! That is a lot of fun, and more pats and rubs for me! And I get a lot of treats, too, 'cause Mom keeps a big jar of treats on the table for customers to give me!
This is me saying goodbye to a really nice lady that was buying beads at the store at Christmas time.
I also keep an eye out for delivery trucks, and let Mom know when more beads are coming to the shop!
When things are really quiet in the store, with no customers, and no deliveries, and Mom is working with her stupid beads instead of playing with me, I lie down beside her with my Baby.
Remember how sad it was when my poor piggy Baby fell apart suddenly?
Well, Mom got me a new piggy baby to love at her store, and I have started lying down with piggy baby covering my head. Mom always goes "Awww" when I do this. She doesn't know why I do it at the store, but I don't cover my head with my babies at home.
And about a month ago, when Mom and I were doing our walkies, Mom noticed that I was leaving footprints all over the sidewalks! Lots of other peoples noticed, too, and would tell my Mom that they could tell I had been there, 'cause they saw my footprints! But no peoples were leaving footprints -- only me!
Wanna know why? It's 'cause of pollen! We had inches and inches of pollen covering the ground. Our nice green sidewalks were not green anymore - they were bright yellow. And every time I put my feet down, a big yellow cloud puffed up! We finally got some rain, and all the pollen is gone now.
There is a German deli just a few doors down from my Mom's store, and it is on the way to the place where I go potty. There is a really nice strip of grass with a lot of bushes and stuff at the end of our building, and it is perfect for me. Every time it is time for me to go potty, I walk really really fast towards the potty place - way faster than Mom (duh! She is slow). And Mom thinks I am running to go potty, but actually I am just going to the deli - I stand outside its door, holding me leash, and lots of time (if they don't have customers) they see me, and come outside with treats! Yum!! And when customers come out of the deli with bags of goodies, I follow them to their cars, sniffing their bags. Mom hates when I do this.
Last week I started refusing to eat the nice breakfast that Mom fixes me every morning before go to work. Mom thinks I was doing this so I would have more room for deli treats! She told the nice deli man to stop giving me treats.... that was mean. Now I have to eat dogfood again.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
She is the very same doctor I have had ever since I was a baby, and she is a very nice lady.
But I think she was very confused on Monday, because she kept calling me "Jerry" instead of Bailey. "Jerry this," and "Jerry that." Oh yeah - I remember - she was calling me "Jerry Atric". That is a weird name.
My Mom told her I was not "Jerry Atric", but my doctor insisted. And then she drew some blood from my leg for tests, and she gave me a paw-dicure, and told me I was a good boy (duh) and sent me home.
The next day, she called my Mom and told me all my tests were OK, and my Mom told her again that I was not "Jerry Atric", and the doctor laughed and said "Well, keep thinking that, and maybe he will stay healthy."
Humans are strange sometimes.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
We never get snow!
Naturally, I wanted to play soccer, but I couldn't find my soccer ball anywhere.
I think this is when I discovered that snow is kinda tasty!
It was a lot of fun! But I got really wet and cold, so I finally told Mom it was time to go inside.
The next morning, the snow was still there, and I wanted to play in it.