Bambooooooozled!

I was totally bamboozled by this whole vacation thing.

Mom loaded all her suitcases in the car, and I ran out and jumped in, while carrying my leash - and we drove 3 whole miles, and I ended up at my doctor's office, for a whole week!

They are nice people, and they play with me and everything, but that is NOT a vacation!

I even had to have a little bit of surgery, because I had a lump on my side, but the doctor told my Mom it is just a cyst, so everything is OK.

I also had to have a bath.

Whenever I stay at the kennel, Mom gets a report card, and mine is always excellent, of course. But this time, the peoples that took care of me wrote on my report card that I love to be brushed- and Mom thought they were joking, because whenever Mom tries to brush me, I squirm, and growl a little, and nip at her fingers (not hard!) - but now Mom knows it is just another one of my tricks!

Big PS to all my friends: If you are following me, and I am not following you back, please let me know - this is all very confusing to me, but I am trying very hard to figure it out!!!

Something's up!

Something big is up at my house!

Mom is doing lots of laundry, and ironing, and packing her suitcases.

And that only means one thing!

VACATION!!!

So I have been doing a lot of thinking and dreaming about where we could be going.

Maybe it will be somewhere with lots and lots of snow!

I just love rolling in the snow, and eating snow!

It hardly ever snows at my house, and it is pretty hot right now, so that would be a really fun vacation, huh?

Maybe we will go back to the beach!

The beach is so cool! Lots of water for swimming (but don't drink it, 'cause you will throw up!)

And lots and lots of birds to chase, especially those pesky pelicans! They like to tease me - they land really close to me in the water, and I thrash around trying to swim to them, and then they fly 3 feet away, and stare at me, and we do it all over again.

And rolling in the sand is SO cool! Then you go and jump in Mom's lap. That is fun!

And there is horse poop at the beach we go to - and you know how I feel about that!

Or maybe we will go to a big fancy hotel and doggie spa, and I can sleep late, and get massages and belly rubs!

I have NO idea where we are going, but I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

Check out my new poll, and vote for where you think Mom and I should go!!

See ya!

How many do YOU have?

How many names do YOU have?

My Mom has a bunch of names for me, but no matter what she calls me, I know she is talking to me (partly because there's no one else here, but also because sometimes you just know stuff, you know?)

These are some of my names - some of them are really silly, but I don't mind:

Bailey
Bailey-Boo
Boo
Boo-boo
Bay
Baby
Stinky
Stinky Baby
Stinky-poo
Stink
Big Stink
Stinker
Poo-Bear
Poo
Bailey-doo
Bailey Doodle
Baby Doodle
Doo-doo
Sweet-pea
Sweet Peasums
Pea-pie
Baby Cake
Baby Cakers
Cake
Cakers
Sweetness
Sweetness-pea
Peas and Rabbits
Doodlebug
Sweetums
Goofball
Goofhead
Baby Darlin'
Darlin' Pea Pie
Pretty
Pretty Boy
Baby Doodles
BB
B-dog
Stinky Pot
Cuddle Bug
Doll Baby
Stinkerpotamus
Stinkypotamus
Love Muffin
Fur Ball
Hey You
Foot Boy
Bailey Poo-kette
Poo-kette
Bailey Boo-ker (rhymes with pooker)
Boo-ker
Bailey Boo-kette
Boo-kette
Snuggie Uggums
Big Dog
Pookie
Boogie
Boogalooze
Love Bunny
Booger-dog
Bubba Dog
Beakie
Beakie-Doo
Beakie Doodles


That's all I can think of right now!

Mom can call me whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't call me Late to Supper.

HaHAHaHAhahahahaha

Tell me some of your names!

Oh yeah - don't forget to vote for my definition (don't vote for the wrong one)! Thanks!

Check me out!

Hey guys - I have made it to the BIG time as a journalist now!

I am now published in Urban Dictionary!

Take a look, and give my definition a paws up!

Thanks!

Me - giving a paws up. I need a little more practice!

My Name is Bailey, and I am a Poopaholic

Mom told me that I absolutely, positively, cannot tell this story.

So here goes.

I am mostly a good dog, but sometimes dogs have certain urges ... and that is why there is a well known saying: "A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do."

And, well, I do doo-doo.

Like many poopaholics, I started with that gateway doo-doo: rabbit poop.
We have lots of rabbits in our yard, and they leave lots of poop, and it is yummy.

Except for this bunny - he lives next to our deck, and I've never seen him move. He doesn't ever make poop, and he doesn't even smell like a bunny.

But I digress.

We have a really really big back yard, and lots of woods in our yard, and I like to roam around in the woods a lot. And lots of times that is where I poop. But if I don't poop in the woods, I poop in one of Mom's flower beds.

That is very important to this story.

See, a long, long time ago, before I was even born, Mom had another beautiful Golden, and he was very persnickety, and would only poop in the freshly mown grass. So Mom had to go out everyday and scoop up his poop and throw it in the bushes, so that both of them wouldn't step in it.

So when I came along, and never pooped in the grass, she was very excited - 'cause she didn't ever have to scoop poop anymore!

And then one day, I ran out of bunny poop, and discovered some of my old poop in a flower bed, and I ate it.

And then I couldn't stop - I think of it as recycling.

Mom was horrified, and decided I might have a dietary deficiency, or something, so she took me to the vet, and asked the vet what she should do about a poop-eating dog.

And the vet said: "Well, you could always just scoop up his poop.... But there is nothing wrong with Bailey."

Well, duh.

Mom was really mad at the vet for this advice. She tried putting a muzzle on me when I went out in the yard, but I could squeeze my tongue out through the tiny opening in the muzzle, and still eat poop.

So Mom has given up on my "horrible addiction" as she calls it.

TDH strikes again!

I don't know about you guys, but my Mom has this strange, magical machine in the kitchen, and I really wish she would get rid of it.



It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.



But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!


And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??


Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:

Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.

I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.

And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!

Like lightning, I tell you.

And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."

And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.

Bummer

Y'all remember how I told you about all the construction going on next door? And how I have this really cool peep-hole in my fence?
It's always been there forever and ever, so I could visit with the next door doggies?




Well, Mom came home from work a few days ago, and let me out, and I ran to my peep-hole to check on the new doggy that moved in last week, and look what we found!

I am so mad!

The new neighbors blocked off my peep-hole.

Mom is mad, too - because it is her fence!



Mom and I played a little soccer today, but not much, because it was really hot and humid outside.



Mom said she might get her saw out and give me my peep-hole back. I hope she does, 'cause I am a very curious and friendly dog! I want to visit with the doggy next door.

But the neighbor peoples don't seem very nice at all.