Monday, March 31, 2008

Home Invasion!

As my regular readers know, I am a very busy dog, with lots of jobs. I am basically on duty 24/7, because you never know when something's going to happen!
Last Wednesday night, Mom was working on the computer (AGAIN!), so I could not sit in her lap, so I was curled up on the bed. I had my back turned to Mom, so she would know my feelings were hurt. Mom thought I was taking a nap, but I wasn't - I suddenly lifted my head up and started growling, and staring at the ceiling.

I had seen this dangerous moth fly in and land on the ceiling, but Mom had not. I kept growling, but Mom didn't know why, and thought I heard a dog or a truck or something outside. She can be really dumb sometimes.

I finally stood up on the bed and started barking straight at the moth, and when Mom told me to "Get it," she thought I would run downstairs and take care of my business down there. I gave her a look, and got off the bed and ran to the corner and kept barking at the ceiling.

Mom looked and looked, but didn't see the giant moth. She finally got off the bed and came over to where I was, and there it was! She took the picture and sat back down to work at the computer, so I had to start barking all over again, because the moth was being all quiet and still now, but those things can be really pesky nuisances! And they taste bad, too! Mom finally got up and swatted him with a magazine, and I settled back down to my duties.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Here's What's Going on Today

When Mom got home from class today, we went straight out to the backyard. She tried to played soccer with me, but I was much more interested in playing with my big stick! This big stick was blown down in a big storm we had over a week ago, and I have had a lot of fun with it! I like to run with it, and chew it. It is not too big for me!

I did play a little soccer with Mom, so she wouldn't be sad.

The workers are still working on the house next door. It used to be a blue house, and now it is a tan house. That is strange to me! I hope they are almost done, because I do not like them. They make a lot of noise with their tools, and throwing stuff, and when I peek through the fence at them, or when I bark and them, they talk loud to me, and one of them barks back at me. My Mom said something to him one time, 'cause he thought she was inside when he did it, but she wasn't. HA!

Remember when I told you how one of my real important jobs is to make sure Mom doesn't throw away important stuff? Well, I was super busy today while she was at class! She has had a cold, and there were a lot of tissues in the trash, and also a snack bag that still had some perfectly good crumbs in it. Wasteful, is what that is. I ate the crumbs, and then shredded everything, so it will decompose quicker at the landfill. My work is never done!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

My Abject Humiliation

Sometimes, I just feel so helpless. I saw Mom coming with those bunny ears, and I knew I had to be strong for you guys! I was so embarassed to be seen in those ears! (could you tell?)

One of my friends has been a little critical of my support group, in that she thinks I should be a little more protactive in offering ways for us dogs to solve this canine hat and costume crisis, rather than just offering a forum for support. I thought about her comments a lot, and this is what I decided to do. I can't tell you what to do, but it worked for me!

First, I smiled for several of the silly bunny ear pictures for Mom, because that makes her happy. Then I knocked the dang things off with my paw, and chewed them up real good. We won't be seeing those ears again, guaranteed!

I am a good chewer!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Madness Continues

Your e-mails and photos continue to pour in, and I hear you! Dogs and hats and costumes just don't go together!

This is my good friend, Lena, sadly festooned in a Santa hat.

These are poor Lucy and Lexi, sad sisters destined to a life of humiliation, because their Mom not only has a closet full of costumes, she also has access to Photoshop, and likes to caption their photos! I hope your Mom finds out how sad you girls are, because I had a hard time picking just one photo of each of you to post here! (Good luck at Easter!)

Some more pups who asked to remain anonymous, no doubt scared of recrimination!

I hope that pet owners are reading this, and seeing their companions' true feelings about being dressed up in silly hats and costumes! Feel free to send me your stories and photos, and I will continue to tell the world! Let's stop the madness! I want to send Get Well Wishes to my friend Dawn. Dawn is a Doberman, and had to have emergency back surgery last week, after she ruptured a disc in her back. That was really scary for her mom and dad, but her surgery went well, and she gets to come home from the hospital tomorrow. Hope you feel better soon, Dawn!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

This meeting is called to order!

Remember how I told you last time that Mom made me wear that stupid hat, and I hated it, so I was thinking about starting a club for other dogs whose moms and dads made them wear stupid hats? Well, the response has been overwhelming! I can't believe how many proud, noble companions have been humiliated like this. I want to show you the depths some people will stoop to, in the hope that I can stop this shameful behavior. Take a look; the names of my new friends have been withheld to protect the innocent:

Look at the anguish on this poor pup's face!

Another fashion disaster in the name of St. Patrick!

My Mom is kinda partial to this one - probably because of her addiction to Krispy Kreme Chocolate Covered Creme Filled Donuts, as described in her blog

What a sad face! And I have no idea what this hat is even supposed to be - an eggplant, maybe? Pitiful. No dog should suffer like this.

And some more:

And then, there are the costumes...

And then, there's this. This is... Just. Wrong.

Now I did receive a couple of e-mails and pictures from cats whose owners had dressed them in hats but, quite frankly, there's nothing funnier to me than a cat in a funny hat, so I don't have much sympathy, and don't want to hear from any more cats.

I realize now that my dog friends need a support group for this horrible hat and costume affliction that their owners make them suffer with, so I will continue to keep this forum available. Contact me anytime!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I Am NOT an Irish Setter

My Mom was very mean to me today. Look what she did to me. This is not funny - see how sad I am?

I am a very dignified dog, and will NOT tolerate this crap. I am thinking of starting a club for dogs whose moms or dads make them wear stupid hats. If you are interested, please contact me!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Big Doings Next Door

When Mom moved into our house, she put up a big fence all the way around our backyard, so I could play back there safely. One day, when I was still a baby, we got really nice new neighbors, and they didn't have any children or any dogs. One day, a black labrador retriever puppy the same age as me got abandoned in our neighborhood, and our new neighbors adopted him and named him CB. We became really good friends, and liked to play all the time. We were inseparable.

CB's yard only had a 3-foot fence around it, and CB knew how to jump over it, and how to dig under it, and he always would come straight to my gate and try to get it, but he couldn't. So then he would go to my front door, and if my Mom saw him, she would let him in, and send us both to my back yard, and we would play until CB's Mom and Dad came to get him.

CB's Dad and my Mom finally came up with the idea to make a hole in the fence between our 2 yards, and then CB and I could just visit each other's yards. They hoped that this way, he might not be running around in the street! And it worked pretty good, too. But CB moved away a few years ago, and I miss him. We kept the hole in the fence, though, but boarded off the bottom part of it. Other dogs have moved in, but they are too small to come visit my yard, so I just talk to them through the fence!

But now, there is something very important going on next door! Mom doesn't understand how important it is! I have told her and told her, and I tell her a hundred times a day, but she doesn't understand, so now I am telling the whole world, so if you see my Mom, please try to explain it to her.

The house next door has been empty for about 3 months. Suddenly, last week, the local sanitation company dropped off one of those industrial sized dumpsters in the driveway of that house, and ever since, there has been a whole lot of stuff going on over there. I have been keeping an eye on everything, and barking up a storm, until Mom makes me come inside.

The workman have torn out all the azaleas, and are doing a lot of landscaping, with loud stuff like chainsaws and leafblowers. I hate loud noise like that, so I bark at them. They pressure washed the deck and treated it, so I had to tell Mom about that, too.

When Mom is home, I ask her to let me out about 100 times a day, so I can check on all this stuff. Believe me, I am keeping a close eye on this! When I get carried away barking, Mom makes me come in. After a few minutes, I start bugging her to let me out again. She sits on the edge of the bed when she does stuff, and I know how to get my way: I whine and I lick her left hand over and over. She hates that.

I wonder if we are getting new neighbors? I hope they have a dog!

Monday, March 3, 2008

New Addition to the Family

I am so excited! When Mom came home from work on Wednesday, she had a surprise for me - I always know when she has a present for me because she starts talking in this funny voice, and I can't help myself - I start to dance around like a big fool, but she always brings me the best surprises!

This was my favorite kind of surprise: a new baby! Mom took it out of the bag, and then I had to wait while she cut all the tags and plastic hanger thingies off of it - that is the hardest part for me, because I can see the new baby, but Mom won't let me have it yet, and I keep trying to grab it out of her hands when she has the scissors, and she keeps saying "No, Bailey" but I never listen, and I keep trying to get the new baby.

Finally she gave me my Baby, and I jumped on the bed to play with it. I stood in the middle of the bed, blocking Mom's view of the TV, and pretended to be a big game hunter for a while. Mom kept asking me to sit down, but I have to do things on my own schedule.

I finally laid down, and played with Baby for a long time. My favorite thing to do (after shaking Baby in Mom's face while squeaking the squeaker over and over again really loud!) is to hold Baby in my mouth and just stare into space. I do this for hours. Mom doesn't know why, so I am not about to tell you here - a dog has to have some secrets!

So there you have it - all about me and my new Baby!

See how happy I am?

Here are some pictures of my old Baby. He only has one ear and one leg, but I still love him a lot!