Sunday, July 25, 2010

What's wrong with these pictures??

Today is Sunday, and that is the day that Mom and I sleep late, and laze around the house, and generally just chill out. And I woke up before Mom (of course) and just lay in my bed, thinking about all the laziness I could accomplish today!

And then Mom got up and went into the bathroom (naturally, I followed her.)

And then that OTHER dog started talking to my Mom - telling her that he needed to go out!

Everyone knows you don't have to tell Mom this in the morning, and that she gets to go first!

But she finished, and then carried the OTHER ONE downstairs and outside, and he peed a lot, and then he pooped, which for some reason made Mom weirdly happy - she never gets excited when I poop!

And then we went inside for breakfast. And she fed the OTHER one first. This is so not fair.

He finally finished, and I cleaned up his mess, and Mom fixed my food, and let the OTHER one lick all the gravy out of my breakfast. There is only so much I can take! But he finally drank it all, and Mom put more gravy in, and I ate my breakfast, while the 2 of them went upstairs.

And when I got upstairs, I jumped up on the bed and found the OTHER one ON MY MOM'S BED!
Yikes! Look at my pouty sad face!

But I held my ground, until Mom came and sat down right where I was, and I had to move to the foot of the bed.

The OTHER one got to stay up there with her.

But NO.
The OTHER one decided he would come down into my territory, and he put his butt right next to mine!!

Mom says you are lucky you cannot see the expression on my face right now. But there was no way I was moving off my Mom's bed!

After a couple of hours, we went outside for a pee break, and when we came back in, Mom fixed more of my delicious food with gravy, and let the OTHER one have all the gravy. Then they went upstairs, and I stayed down in the kitchen, gobbling up the gravy-less food.
When I got upstairs, the OTHER one was nowhere to be found, and the bed was MINE!!

And I enjoyed it until Mom kicked me with her giant foot, and I had to get off the bed for my own safety - so I decided I would get in my nice soft bed.

But, OH NOES!!
The other one is in my bed!
This is totally not fair.

Is there NO end to my sacrifices??

But Mom got out my old bed (look how pitifully non-deluxe it is!) and I decided to lie there, and give Mom another one of my patented pouty faces.

Mom tried to tell me that this bed is supposed to be for the OTHER one, but I call foul on that.
'Cause look who is in it! Me, that's who!!
And just now I got up to try to go get back in my good bed, and the OTHER one is still there - so I growled at Mom to make sure she knows about all this injustice, and she just asked me if I want to go outside. Can the woman not understand a thing I tell her? That was totally NOT my "I need to go outside" growl.
So now I am lying on the plain old bare floor, suffering. With my butt facing my Mom, 'cause she needs to know I am mad.
And Mom says the OTHER ONE's name is Gumball. I say his name is Trouble, or Interloper, or GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED!

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Mom and I were driving to work yesterday, and she stopped the car in the middle of the road, and picked up a tiny dog and put him in the front seat. I NEVER get to sit in the front seat. I was jealous, and worried.

Then Mom dropped me at the shop, and locked me inside, and drove away with the little dog. She chose him! Oh NOES!

But she came back later, with no little dog.

But after work, we went to the doctor's office, and there was that little dog again, and the peoples put him in my Mom's arms, and she carried him out to the front seat again, and stuffed me in the back seat, and we went home, and she let the little dog in our house, and in my backyard, and she gave him special food that smelled really good! And then she started building my old doggy crate from when I was a baby, and I got worried again - but it was for the little dog. But I still stay far away from it.

The little dog isn't good for much, as far as I can tell. He gets carried everywhere, and he won't play with me, and I don't even get to eat his food. And Mom is always holding him. And he sleeps ALL the time.

I don't know about this. I never asked for a baby brudder, but Mom says he is an old man.

I am very confused.

If my friends reading this know people in the Aiken'Augusta/North Augusta area, please send this to them via Facebook, or Twitter, or e-mail, or whatever. Let's get the word out so this little doggie can get back home to his regular Mommy! Thanks!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Cruel and Inhumane? You tell me!

My Mom tortured me for over 2 hours today!

She does this a lot - and it is high time I told the truth about this horrible treatment I receive!

Mom fixes herself these fancy lunches, and dinners, and sometimes even breakfast (like French Toast, which looks and smells delicious, but she has never never let me taste it- she says the sugar is bad for me.)

So anyway, she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and fixes the stuff.

Today, she fixed a big old fancy salad - with lettuce, and grilled chicken, and cherry tomatoes, and corn, and carrots, and sunflower seeds, and cheese cheese cheese, and dressing -- all my favorites, except of course for lettuce. I will NOT eat plain lettuce - but Mom's lettuce always have lots of dressing on it, so it is yummy.

Anyway, before she started fixing her salad, she gave me a big bowl of my breakfast. Which is AS IT SHOULD BE - of course I should eat first. So I was eating while she was making salad.

She finished making her salad at about the time I finished eating, and then she spent 5 minutes tossing and mixing it really good - just the way I like it!

And then she carried it upstairs, and set it down on the bed, and started playing on the dumb old computer again.

She says she has sensitive teeth, and doesn't like cold food, so the salad has to warm up before she will eat it! That, of course, is nonsense.

So I have to sit there, mere inches from that delicious salad, and just wait.

At first, I am still smiling, because I always forget how long this part takes.

Soon I start to get tired, and have to rest my head -

But I know my manners, and I know better than to get my "big nose" near her salad.

After a long long time, I finally show her I am no longer interested.
This usually works, and she starts to eat.
But she takes a few bites, puts down the salad, and goes back to the 'puter. And so sometimes it can take her 3 hours to eat her dumb old lunch.

Finally, she finishes, gives me the bowl, and I clean it for her.
I do a really good job!

Some days there is a lot more salad for me to clean up than others, 'cause sometimes Mom gets full faster than other times -
Today was one of those days when Mom didn't get very full, so I didn't have much cleaning to do.

Do any of you have cruel torture stories?
Don't even get me STARTED on baths --- they should be outlawed!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I got to take a Walkie today!

It has been hot, hot, hot, plus Mom has been kinda sick - but today, even though it was 97 degrees when we left work, it was only 82 when we got home. A cold snap!

Mom rushed inside and changed clothes, and asked me if I wanted to go walk with her.

Well, duh...!?!

So we took off, and I walked so much faster than she did that she had to keep whistling for me (she has suddenly quit talking, to everyone - I don't know why. But I know what her whistles mean! I would get very far ahead of her, and she would whistle, so I would kill time by running up to peoples' front doors and peeking in, or checking out their garages if the garage doors were up, or just meeting new friends. I got to meet 4 new friends: a lady who was "weed-whacking," and a man who was shining his truck tires, and a man and a lady who putting their dog in their truck for a ride, and then a nice lady with a toddler - the nice lady called me over (Mom was a long way behind me) - so I pranced over with my leash, and that toddler started screaming bloody murder - and that made his Dad come out of the house, and by then Mom had caught up, and was apologizing because I had "scared the baby", but the Mom and the Dad both knew that the Mom had started it all by calling me over in the first place....

But my point is, I got head pats and butt rubs from 4 new friends today!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Monday Musings: My favorite place at Mom's shop

Y'all might remember: I have a Sweeeeeeeet set-up at work - a nice comfy king-size bed, in a corner, under a table, so I feel nice and safe and protected! And my toy box is right there, with all my Babies, and my bones, and my balls. And I lie in my bed sometimes (but I prefer to be close to Mom! And sometimes I follow her around and around, and she tells people that I am afraid that she will sneak out some secret back door in the store and leave me there. What? It COULD happen - just because I haven't FOUND a back door yet, doesn't mean there isn't one. I watch horror movies! I know about secret passages!!)
You can't see my toy box in this picture, because Mom didn't get me a toy box for work until last month - she said my toys were getting out of control!!

But I digress. When Mom is helping customers, if the shop is pretty busy, with lots of people walking around (especially childrens), I like to go get in my bed, because I was never around lots of people until Mom starting taking me to work with her, and it gets a little overwhelming for me, so I retreat to my safe corner. [I was never around children when I was growing up, and never met any 'til I started working at the bead shop, so they kinda freak me out a little sometimes! ]

But my sweet bed is NOT my most favoritist place at work. My favoritist place is behind the counter - especially if there are lots of lots of people in the store (especially childrens) - but I never go behind the counter unless my Mom is back there, because if Mom isn't back there, I can't SEE her, and I have to be able to see her at all times (or she will sneak out the back door!)

So when Mom is working behind the counter, I get in the furtherest most corner back there, and curl up and relax. Mom always laughs at me, because it is a very tiny corner, and I always rest my head inside the metal cabinet so that I fit, and Mom tells me that I can't possibly be comfy, but it isn't so bad!

And when Mom needs to get the wire, or the crystals (which are in the cabinet behind me) she just steps right over me, and I don't even move. I know she would never step on me! She sometimes says that I am a little bit in the way, but I know she is just kidding, 'cause she is a big kidder like that.

And I might have forgotten to tell you: I got a promotion at work! I am now Assistant Manager and Head of The Complaint Department. The way this works is, if someone has a complaint, they are supposed to come whisper it to me, and then I kiss them until they forget about their complaint.

Unfortunately, Mom hasn't had any complaints yet, so I haven't gotten to give out any of these complaint kisses. But I do keep an eye out for peoples that bend down to look at the beads on the lower hooks, and I rush over and kiss them before Mom can stop me. She says not everyone likes my kisses.

HA! I told you she was a big kidder!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Not much happenin' here

Not much going on here - Mom says it is the Dog Days of Summer - but I don't see anything particularly "doggy" about them.

It is hot hot hot hot hot. And humid. So it is not much fun outside.

When I go outside with Mom, I run for my soccer ball and I really want to play soccer with Mom, but by the time I bring the ball to her, I am too hot to play, so I just stand there, holding my ball, and let her rub my butt. Then SHE gets too hot, and tells me it is time to go inside.

But she lets me bring my soccer ball inside now, and we play a little bit in the house, but we have to be very careful!

My friend Kathy came to visit me 3 weeks ago, and she stayed for a real long time, and that was a lot of fun. Except one morning Kathy and my Mom left the house when it was still dark outside, and they were gone for a long time, and when the garage door finally opened again, only Kathy was there! She left my Mom somewhere! I was very upset about this.

The next day, Kathy left me all alone at the house again, but she came home soon, and she had found my Mom! I was so glad to see her. But Mom didn't feel good, and had a boo-boo on her neck, and had to go to bed. She started to feel a little better after a few days, and we are going back to work everyday, but she says she still doesn't feel good enough to take me for walkies. I think it's partly because it is so hot!

I survived the bang-bang noises again for another time - this time, our dumb ole neighbors made the bang-bang noises for 2 days in a row! It was scary!

I hope you aren't as hot as I am!

I am spending a lot of time making new friends on FaceBook. Facebook still confuses me, but I am trying!