Wednesday, August 19, 2009

TDH strikes again!

I don't know about you guys, but my Mom has this strange, magical machine in the kitchen, and I really wish she would get rid of it.



It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.



But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!


And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??


Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:



Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.

I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.

And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!

Like lightning, I tell you.

And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."




And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.






8 comments:

Sunny said...

Hi Bailey,
Eewww! that is so totally gross! My Mom has one of those square things too and I never get to clean the dishes, then she says something about the lectric bill being high, well I could have saved her money. Hoomans just don't get it sometimes, Bailey. I sure hope you don't get sick from that toxic stuff...yuck!
Luv, Lucy

Bailey said...

No, Lucy - Hardly anything makes me sick - except for that one time when I found those really old bones from a dead bird in the yard, and naturally I ate every bit of it. I was sick for days and days.
I blogged about it somewhere in here, but it is a bad story.

Thanks for worrying about me - but a little dog hair is nothing!

My Mom says she has eaten more dog hair than that, if you add up all the times I shake right when she is getting ready to take a bite of food. I always manage to aim my dog hairs right at her fork!

I think of it as my way of helping her build immunity!

LUCKY LUKE said...

My the Mom has a shirt what depicts three shakers...

First is labeled Salt.
Second is labeled Pepper.
Fird is labeled Dog Hair.

Just way it is.

I have many funny stories could tell, but for now I say... my the Mom turn square box on when it thunderin... she doe it in tempt to confuse me.

Sum time it work!

wif love from the Luke

Lorenza said...

Hi, Bailey!
My grandma had one of those machines but hers was very noisy!
I know you can do a better job cleaning the dishes!
TDH... was it tasty??
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Sunny said...

Hi again Bailey,
I forgot to mention I live with 2 cats so I know hairballs! Is that all cats are made of? Mom is always mumbling about shaving them or something but I think she is kidding. Well I'm glad you won't be sick.
Luv, Lucy

MAX said...

Hey there, Bailey
i Totally concur with you about the necessity of these greedy machines. I too would love to take on its job.
But you, dear Bailey have an industriousness which is entirely unique to you! Well done for the tip. I'll try it...sounds so cool!
Lots of licks
MAXDOG IN SOUTH AFRICA

Bailey said...

Luke - you are funny! And I'm scared of thunder, too - I like to hide in Mom's closet!

Lorenza - As far as TDH being tasty? I've had better snacks, and I've had worse...
Of course, I like to eat my own poop out in the backyard, too, but that is another story...

1000 Goldens said...

Why don't the humans leave it to us? We'd save so much water and stuff for Mother Earth.