Sunday, July 18, 2010

Cruel and Inhumane? You tell me!

My Mom tortured me for over 2 hours today!

She does this a lot - and it is high time I told the truth about this horrible treatment I receive!

Mom fixes herself these fancy lunches, and dinners, and sometimes even breakfast (like French Toast, which looks and smells delicious, but she has never never let me taste it- she says the sugar is bad for me.)

So anyway, she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and fixes the stuff.

Today, she fixed a big old fancy salad - with lettuce, and grilled chicken, and cherry tomatoes, and corn, and carrots, and sunflower seeds, and cheese cheese cheese, and dressing -- all my favorites, except of course for lettuce. I will NOT eat plain lettuce - but Mom's lettuce always have lots of dressing on it, so it is yummy.

Anyway, before she started fixing her salad, she gave me a big bowl of my breakfast. Which is AS IT SHOULD BE - of course I should eat first. So I was eating while she was making salad.

She finished making her salad at about the time I finished eating, and then she spent 5 minutes tossing and mixing it really good - just the way I like it!

And then she carried it upstairs, and set it down on the bed, and started playing on the dumb old computer again.

She says she has sensitive teeth, and doesn't like cold food, so the salad has to warm up before she will eat it! That, of course, is nonsense.

So I have to sit there, mere inches from that delicious salad, and just wait.

At first, I am still smiling, because I always forget how long this part takes.

Soon I start to get tired, and have to rest my head -

But I know my manners, and I know better than to get my "big nose" near her salad.

After a long long time, I finally show her I am no longer interested.
This usually works, and she starts to eat.
But she takes a few bites, puts down the salad, and goes back to the 'puter. And so sometimes it can take her 3 hours to eat her dumb old lunch.

Finally, she finishes, gives me the bowl, and I clean it for her.
I do a really good job!

Some days there is a lot more salad for me to clean up than others, 'cause sometimes Mom gets full faster than other times -
Today was one of those days when Mom didn't get very full, so I didn't have much cleaning to do.

Do any of you have cruel torture stories?
Don't even get me STARTED on baths --- they should be outlawed!!


Sheila and Bob said...

Oh Bailey;

Thanks so much for your post today, you really mad us laugh.
You certainly are a typical Golden when it comes to

Sheila & Bob
Mom & Dad to
Hamish & Sophie

JackDaddy said...

You were very good not to eat the salad first. Sometimes smelling is pretty good just by itself! :)

An English Shepherd said...

The rubbish bin also works for me after lunch ;-)


Bailey said...

Ah, English - That's an oldie but a goodie, but alas, My Mom caught on to that one, and now she keeps ALL the trash cans on top of counters in my house.

But not at the shop! I can still root around in those, and come up with all kinds of stuff!!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Bailey!
I know how you feel. My mom does exactly the same thing to me!
The only difference is that I never take my eyes away from her while she is eating it. Sometimes works... sometimes not!
I like to clean the bowl for her too!
Kisses and hugs

houndstooth said...

Bailey, I feel your pain! One time Mom sat eating her steak right under my nose and didn't give me a bite until the very end! It's just wrong!


Lola said...

I'm so sorry to learn that you have to suffer like that. And you're such a hard working dog, too. Baths are the main way they torture me. And ear cleaning. I really hate ear cleaning.

wags, Lola

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! I do exactly the same thing ... so no worries. Your mom makes a good salad. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Rufus and Indie said...

Great snack! Nothing like a good and healthy meal!^^

Rufus and Indie

Homer said...

...and the dishwasher works for me too!


Miss Muddy Paws said...

Milly loves salad, too!

Sierra Rose said...

Bailey!! That was one very delicious looking salad...I would have been all over it:) Glad you had the last lick!

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Mr. Pip said...

Oh yes, I can relate ... my family does this to me all the time. My little sister eats very slowly and sometimes it takes her like 30 minutes to eat a peanut butter sandwich (my favorite). It is just torture!

Your pal, Pip

Wyatt said...

Bailey, you are such a good dog! I could never sit by a lunch and not help myself! I even steal lettuce, peas and radishes from the bowl, when mom is trying to harvest the garden. I admire your self control!


Sagira said...

You are such a good pup to not steal her food when she isn't looking.

Sophie Lou said...

Bailey this is my first time visiting your blog. My humans torture me all the time with food too. I find your tactic of acting uninterested also successful! Stop by sometime.

Thor said...

I don´t like when my mom eats under my nose and I get nothing. That's a torture!


animal lover, quilt lover said...

Hi Bailey,
Thanks so much for the facebook link!!! You are now listed on my favorites list. I can come see you real often now!!
Our Bambi loves food too. Her job is to clean up all dishes so it makes it easy to hand wash. She loves her job!!
Love you blog!!
XXOO, Bambi & Fern

PussDaddy said...

Oh you poor deprived thing, lol.


Bailey said...

PD you are obviously one of those "CAT PEOPLE" my Mom has warned me about.

lol my butt.

And please rub my butt while you are there - that's my favorite!

the booker man said...

mr. bailey,
that is just so so totally wrong!! at least your mama let you lick the bowl when she FINALLY finished. i think i might have gotten way impatient like and "accidentally" flipped the bowl over with my paw. teeheehee!
the booker man