I'll try anything, once...

I don't know about you guys, but I enjoy eating. Good grief - just look at my avatar!

Basically, almost anything will do - I'm not real picky, as you know.

Although, there are a few things that I just won't eat - like plain ole dry lettuce. Or those bacon thingies.


Mom had a banana at the store the other day.


Naturally, I acted like banana was my favoritist food EVER!


And I told Mom I needed some banana, NOW!


But Mom was being all piggy about her banana, and wouldn't give me a single bite.


So then I told her that banana PEEL was my favoritist food EVER in the whole world, and I asked her very politely (I even stood up on my back legs) for the banana peel.


Mom looked at me like I was crazy, but she handed me the peel.

I have never even smelled one before - but since I had put on such a big show about getting this peel, I knew I couldn't spit it out, so I had to act like it was the best treat EVER!








But you know what - banana peels are not good dog treats.

So I had to carry the peel around, and whenever Mom tried to get it away from me, I ducked my head the other way, and acted like I had some great treasure.

Mom finally left me alone, and I carried the peel a little while longer so she would know I thought it was special, but then, when she wasn't looking, I dropped it in the middle of the floor in the store.


By then, Mom had forgotten about it - and she didn't remember it until a customer came in and saw the peel on the floor. Oooops.


Mom says that was my last banana peel. That's OK - I will just go find my friend Franklin and get some REAL treats!

TDH strikes again!

I don't know about you guys, but my Mom has this strange, magical machine in the kitchen, and I really wish she would get rid of it.



It is square, and has a door that folds down, and most of the time my Mom leaves the door open ('cause she is lazy -- oops, there goes my treat tomorrow...!), and lots of times my toys roll under that door and get stuck. And sometimes I catch the edge of the door with my cone, and that is just annoying.



But the real problem is, Mom puts dishes in this machine - dishes and cups and silverwares - all kinds of stuff that I could be cleaning for her, and when she cuts on the machine, it makes a quiet noise for a long time, and then the dishes come out with absolutely no food left on them. This is a waste of perfectly good snacks!!


And what I really want to know is, where does all the food go??


Well, I thought I figured it all out yesterday:

Mom was unloading the machine - taking all the plates that I could have cleaned for her (and a whole lot faster, too, if you know what I mean!), and after she got the bottom shelf emptied, she said "hmmm" and she pulled the bottom shelf all the way out real fast and reached her arm way inside the machine, and she grabbed something out of it, and just kind of tossed it on the kitchen floor, and went back to inspecting the stoopid machine.

I had been halfway watching her from my comfy rug in the dining room, but when I saw her drop this thing on the kitchen floor, I jumped up like a rocket, and zoomed into the kitchen to check it out. 'Cause I just knew it was food - right? I mean, food goes in - so it must come out.

And Mom heard my claws clicking as I ran like a fool, and she turned around and saw me zooming in on it, and she said "No, Bailey" which everyone knows is Mom secret code for "Now Bailey, that is a delicious snack that I really really want for myself, so you stay away!", so I took 2 quick sniffs, and sucked up that treat!

Like lightning, I tell you.

And Mom said "You are SO gross, Bailey."

And that's when it hit me - I had just eaten a giant clump of Toxic Dog Hair.