Y'all will never believe this!

I STILL can't believe it!

First of all, Mom is making me tell all of you that this report card I got the last time I stayed at the doggie hotel is a BFL (Big Fat Lie).


After Mom and I took our shower last night (you should have seen how much dog hair was all over Mom when we finished - sheesh! she acted like it was gross or something!), she spent hours and hours blow-drying me.

Then she got out 2 different brushes, and a comb, and tried to "make me pretty" - but I snarled and snapped, and squirmed and wiggled, and was very uncooperative. So now she thinks the doggie hotel must put me on doggie Valium before they ever brush me.

So, anyway, back to the big news.

Mom got up 20 minutes early this morning!

I know - this is highly unusual, so I was already super-suspicious.

She did her usual morning routine, and let me do mine, and then when it was time for her to go to work (this is the time I usually hide in the backyard and make her bribe me with treats to get me to come inside) she opened the back door and yelled "Let's get your leash!"

So I came running at super duper speed, and helped her find my leash, and she put it on me, and I helped show her where the car is, and I got in, and we went.....

Straight to the doctor's office - but only so she could get me a quick pedicure.

??huh?????


So then we drove and drove some more, and we ended up at her work - and she let me in, and took off my leash, and then went back to the car and brought in my new bed, and all my new toys, and treats, and filled a water bowl for me, and told me I get to come to work with her EVERYDAY now - forever!!


Look - if you pay attention, you will see that I have a brand new cow-baby here at work - he is just like my one at home, except this one is white, and the one at home has turned brown. Don't know why - must be what happens when cows get old.



So I checked out my bed, and sometimes I lie in it, but mostly I have a lot of jobs to do!

I have to greet all the customers, and help them shop.

And Mom has lots of beads hanging on pegboards, and I dust these several times an hour, to keep them clean.




All the peoples that come here are very friendly, and like to give me rubs and treats.

I like coming here!

Can you believe it? No more staying home all by myself all day!

The only bad thing is, Mom spends a lot of time doing the same boring stuff she does at home - play with beads.

Yawn!

Toxic Dog Hair: the Truth

My mailbox has been flooded with e-mails from other friends whose dog toys have inexplicably fallen apart, and they also suspect toxic dog hair (TDH) is the culprit.

As a responsible journalist, I have now done extensive research into this, and these are my findings:

I have inspected hundreds of photos of my poor dead dog toys - I have found copious amounts of dog hair in every photo!

By now, you have probably seen the pics of poor cow baby's left ear - covered in TDH!

Here is more irrefutable photographic evidence:

Poor piggy baby

And a close up photo of poor piggy's tummy area:

Click on the photo if you need to - I have circled what I believe to be Ground Zero of the TDH accumulation.

I have hundreds of more photos that tell the same sad story, but quite frankly, it was very painful for me to go back and look at all my dear old, and now sadly demised, friends, and I just don't think I can bear to relive these memories again.

So here are my new theories, the result of several hours of extensive study, whenever I wasn't sleeping, or eating, or getting my tummy rubbed:

Toxic Dog Hair (TDH) is responsible for:

1) Global Warming -- there are probably tons and tons of TDH floating around up there somewhere, trapping those greenhouse gases, whatever they are...

2) Hurricanes and Typhoons (forget that silly "Butterfly Effect" nonsense - I suspect TDH)

3) the Blue Screen of Death and other critical computer errors -- there's really no doubt here -

my Mom has had to have her computer professionally cleaned (and even replaced, one time) because so much TDH got inside it that it stopped working --- sorry, Mom

4) the Current Economic Crisis - I won't even pretend to know what this is, but the News Guy is always saying it, and he sound really sad and serious when he says it, so it must be something bad, and I bet TDH is involved.

5) And, most importantly (to me), the deterioration of my favorite babies.

That's all I have come up with so far, but I will keep conducting my top secret research.

Let me know if you have some horrible events you believe are caused by TDH.

The world must know!!

The End is Near...

When Mom came home from work, she found this on her pillow:

Do you recognize it?

Here is a hint:

It is cow baby's left ear.

Once again, one of my brand new dog toys is falling apart, all on it's own.

But I think I have figured out the reason all my dog toys keep falling apart!

If you look closely at the top picture, you will notice there there is a lot of Bailey-hair all over the ear. Hence, dog hair must cause deterioration of dog toys, and the longer you play with them, the more dog hair they get on them, so the more rapid the deterioration.

I really AM a genius, just like my Mom says!

Gingey's home!

Well, Mom must have sent enough ransoms to the lady in the mountains, because Gingey is home at last!

I am just so excited! This picture was taken just moments after Mom opened the package -

I ran around the house a lot with Gingey!

We went upstairs while Mom changed her clothes, and I paused on the bed, but never let go of Gingey.

Then Mom went downstairs to cook dinner, and I raced after her, and I was so excited, and between wearing my cone and having Gingey in my mouth, I guess I couldn't see the stairs, and I was running too fast, and I fell down the stairs!

Fortunately, Mom was just a few steps from the bottom, and she heard the commotion as I came thundering down the stairs in a big tangle, and she stuck out her leg, and saved me! I composed myself, and raced her to the kitchen, and you know what?

I never even dropped Gingey!!!!

I don't know what Ransom is, but I need some!

Welcome to Gingey Watch, Day 17.

Mom talked to the lady at the mountain house yesterday, and evidently I will only get Gingey back if Mom sends her some "ransom."


I have no idea what "ransom" is, but I saw Mom hurry and pack an envelope, and mail it to the lady.


I am worried, because it was not a very big envelope, and I want Gingey back.

So if you have any extra ransom lying around, please mail it to:
The Mountain House where Tai and Nummy Live


Thanks!


Speaking of Nummy, I suspect she is behind all this.

She always wants my toys, and look at her evil eyes!

Isn't this sad?

This is poor piggy, who I told you about last time.


They just don't make dog toys like they used to, huh?

I just loved piggy, like I love all my babies, and one day he just fell apart.

The good thing is, when I pick up piggy and shake him back and forth really hard, all kinds of piggy fur and dog hair and other stuff flies off of him, and usually lands in Mom's food (not that she is always eating, or anything), and then she shrieks a lot like a little girl.

But the bad thing is, poor piggy is not a very good pillow for me anymore.

I hope the mailman is very careful with my Gingey, and gets him to me fast!

I Played a Trick on Mom!

Back when I was a baby, Mom taught me how to open the backdoor when I was finished playing outside. I'm pretty smart you know, so this was easy for me to learn. I never bothered to learn how to close the door when I come back in, though, so if Mom doesn't get up right away to close it when I open it, sometimes bugs come in, and one time a bird came in!

Sometimes when Mom has company, I surprise them by opening the backdoor all by myself - it is funny to see their faces, and then they all pat me!

Mom stayed home from work today, and has been taking a lot of pictures, and working on her computer. Whenever she stays home, I bug her a lot and ask her to let me outside over and over, so she keeps having to get up and down and up and down. She takes me to the kitchen and shows me that the door is already open, but I never go outside without her leading me right to the door! That's 'cause I always forget that I left it open....

A little while ago, I wanted to go outside again right when Mom was taking pictures. Instead of taking me to the door, she took me to the backstairs, which lead right down to the backdoor, and showed me that it was wide open, and told me to go outside. I went to the bottom of the stairs, and grabbed one of my babies, and ran out the door with it. I'm not allowed to take my babies outside, and Mom saw me and told me to drop it, but I fooled her, and ran off the deck with Baby.

Mom kept telling me to come back, but I played dumb. Sure enough, I made Mom chase me out in the backyard IN HER PAJAMAS! She never got dressed today, and now I had her chasing me in the yard in her pajamas. It was funny.

At first, I just ignored her and kept running deeper into the yard.

Then I got distracted by those workmen nextdoor (YES, they are still there!)

That allowed Mom to get pretty close to me, but I still had my eye on her!

Then I started shaking my baby and daring her to try to get me.

She got my soccer ball, and kicked it, and I dropped Baby because I thought we were going to play soccer.

Mom scooped up Baby and ran back to the house. So I guess she played a trick on me!

All I wanted was for Mom to play outside with me! I don't think she understood this game at all. I will have to try something else later today, after I take a nap.

Hi, I'm Bailey!

Hi everybody! My name is Bailey, and I am a golden retriever. According to my mom, I am the best dog in the whole world. I am 8 years old, and a boy dog.

I love to cuddle with my stuffed animals. Mom calls my stuffed animals my babies, and so I humor her: when she says "Go get Baby," I bring her back one of my stuffed toys. The ones with the loudest squeakers inside are my favorite ones! It drives my mom crazy when I shake them in her face and squeak the squeaky!

My mom is a jewelry designer, and when she is not making jewelry, she is taking pictures of her jewelry, and then spending a lot of time on the computer. I hate her laptop computer, because I want to sit in her lap.

Mom and I watch TV together, and I bark whenever there is a dog on the TV. We also play soccer almost everyday (mom is not very good). I also take a lot of naps with my baby.

Keep checking back here for more stuff about me, Bailey, the best dog ever. Thanks for visiting!